15 Annoying Facebook Statuses That Scare Men Off

November 29, 2014  |  
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Facebook is a place you should be able to express yourself—sure. But any good therapist would tell you that there are certain parts of yourself that should be expressed, well, privately. Here are 15 annoying Facebook statuses that scare men off.

 

 

 

 

Funny things your mom says about you being single

No pressure or anything to your potential suitors. It’s not like you’ve let them know through numerous statuses that your mom is staring at your empty ring finger like it’s an infectious disease.

 

 

 

 

 

“Who needs a man when you have this? [Insert dog pic here]”

When you put it that way why would a guy ask you out? He knows if he does the tiniest thing wrong you’ll say, “Dogs never do things like that!” and it’ll be over.

 

 

 

Fitness selfies

If you’re really proud of your accomplishment, post the stats on how much time you spent on the treadmill or the number of reps you did. Don’t post a photo of your sweaty abs leading to your pubic line. Doesn’t exactly scream, “Like me for my personality.”

 

 

Fifteen girls in Vegas

Nobody has fifteen real friends. And as an adult, you should only really be traveling with your real friends—anyone else just gets in the way of the experience. So your photo of 15 girls in line at a club in Vegas just told everyone you surround yourself with pseudo-friendships to avoid facing that you’re lonely.

 

“Another one bites the dust…”

If you let everyone know every time you go through a breakup, you probably let everyone know every gritty detail within the relationship too.

Some people are just so [insert insult clearly meant for one person]”

Do you really need validation so much that you post vague attacks on one specific person who has no chance to defend themselves so 100 strangers can sympathize with you?

 

 

 

 

 

Getting ready photos

Translation: you can’t be in the moment. You focus on the bad music at the bar instead of the good company, or the dirty cab seats instead of the scenery out the window.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“In a relationship with [insert best friend here]”

Translation: you’re so tired of being rejected by men that you’re rejecting them all before another one has a chance to reject you.

 

Screen shots of Tinder conversations

It’s just viscous to turn the (admittedly strange and sometimes dumb) people you sought out on an app into entertainment for hundreds of people they’ll never even meet.

 

 

 

 

 

Your Trader Joe’s treats after “a hard week”

If you turn to sugary treats every time life gets hard, you may need to find healthy ways to handle stress before entering a serious relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quotes by Marilyn Monroe

Just…no.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quotes about serenity

Those who make a whole outward show about how inwardly peaceful they are tend to be inwardly crazy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hating on couples

“Ugh. Annoying couple cuddling on the train next to me. Yuck.” Doesn’t exactly make men feel warm and fuzzy about the idea of asking you out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Complaining about nothing

“Traffic succcckkkssss,” “No dairy-free snacks at this party. Guess I’ll just starve,” and “The people talking in line behind me at the pharmacy are so annoying!” are just a few of the types of statuses that tell a man he doesn’t want to end his day with you.

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