Single Parenting And Dating: My Struggle To Meet Mr. Right While Looking Out For The Best Interests Of My Son

November 18, 2014  |  

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Six years ago, my life changed forever when I was blessed with the honor of bringing life into the world and becoming a mother to my little baby boy. From the moment I held my son in my arms and looked into his eyes, I knew I had a great responsibility on my hands and that I would have to make some adjustments in every aspect of my life, which I welcomed, because change can be good. One change I decided to make was taking a step back from the dating scene so that I could focus on balancing motherhood and my career. In doing this, I made the conscious decision to cease contact with men, aside from a casual conversation here and there, for as long as I felt the need or until I was ready to delve back into dating.

While on this hiatus, I grew spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I also developed a strong bond with my son and learned to find joy in every aspect of being a mom. It was a journey like no other that I’m still traveling on and learning from. So a few years back during my hiatus, I decided that I had found the right time to re-enter the realm of dating. After all, my son was getting older and I had, and still have, a pretty good handle on motherhood. With that in mind, I figured, why not?

While mulling over my decision to get back into dating, I became really nervous and started stalling. Some serious questions and concerns ran through my mind about men, and of course, about my child. What if my son doesn’t like the person I’m involved with? What if they don’t bond like they should? What if he has a child/children and they don’t like me or my son? A number of other things ended up crossing my mind out of concern for my son (including meeting a man who might be abusive to my child), and all that hindered my dating process.

But the good news is, although I was very apprehensive, after some time I removed my fears, went forward and got back out there.

While I don’t date as much as I probably should or would like to, I’ve realized that in order to successfully date as a single parent, there are some things I must keep in mind for myself and everyone involved. For one, patience is a must. And I don’t just mean having patience with potential suitors, but also being patient with myself. Oftentimes, we as women pressure ourselves into meeting the ‘right man’. That takes the fun out of dating. So in order for me to get the most out of it, I have to be patient with myself. The second thing I have to keep in mind is that dating should be fun and not taken too seriously too soon. And I also must be optimistic and always keep in mind that there are great men in the world to date who my son can learn a lot from, but I must be very careful when it comes to deciding who I want my son to meet. While there are many other concerns I have in my struggles with dating, I know that as long as I keep my focus on my priorities and continue to be the best mom I can be, successful dating and the right man will come my way as long as I’m open to it. But for now, I guess I’ll stay a happy single mom–unless someone wants to introduce me to the very fine Dwight Freeney. Just kidding!

But seriously, if anybody has the hook-up, call a sista…

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin

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