How To Be A True Friend To Other Women

March 29th, 2011 - By Dr. Phoenyx Austin


I recently wrote an article that discussed whether it was healthy for a woman to not have any female friendships. The article struck a cord with many Madame Noire readers and I received tons of feedback from women that felt compelled to share their own personal stories of friendships and fall-outs with fellow women.

It always warms my heart to read about women with great female friends. But for the many women that don’t have similar stories to share, I truly empathize. I definitely understand how negative experiences with other women can cause a woman to become guarded. I’ve been there. But I still encourage women to take the initiative to befriend one another. I firmly believe that it is very possible and very necessary to establish friendships with other women- even if it’s with just one other woman. Why? Because I’m a huge proponent of sisterhood- especially among black women. And if you are too, then you probably now thinking, “Well how do we accomplish this Dr. Phoenyx?

Well, oftentimes I’ve noticed that difficulty in initiating and maintaining friendships with other women is just a result of not knowing exactly how to A) Choose friends wisely and B) Be a true friend. So I’d like to share a bit of advice.

But before I do, I like to share one more thing. Women can and should get along. Remember this- whatever you put out into the world, you will also receive- and that goes for friendship too. If you know how to be a true friend, and practice that in your everyday life, you will be able to create friendships with other women. And even if you only manage to become great friends with just one other woman, I can assure you that the love and support you’ll receive from her is definitely worth all your effort. Here are 6 tips on how to be a true friend to other women.

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  • diego

    great article, specially about gossip and petty conflicts.
    about karma, I use another rule. Having a good talk with someone else, making good, makes me feel good. When I do real good to that person and she does to me. That makes me feel great. I aim for that when I chat. I do it for us.

  • Que

    Great article! I struggle with this as I haven't had a girlfriend since I was a teenager and I'm now in my 30's. I have some women that I associate with but I a real friendship is what I'm lacking. In recent years I've noticed that having girlfriends is extremely important.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DrPhoenyx Dr. Phoenyx

    Hey Prissy! I def agree with keeping positivity in, and negativity out. And it's always nice to have some cool girlfriends to share in that positivity ;) So glad you checked out my article! Would love to see you over on my fan page too :)

    • Prissy

      Hey! I'm already a fan of yours on there!!! ;-)

  • http://www.facebook.com/DrPhoenyx Dr. Phoenyx

    So glad you enjoyed the article! Would love to see you over on my fan page too :)

  • Prissy

    EVERYONE should adhere to these things… But sadly… there are plenty of folk who do NOT understand the meaning of being a TRUE friend. Sometimes it is better to just keep to yourself and REMOVE all of the TRASH from your life. It is more pleasant that way. And it makes for a HAPPIER existence.

    • Nigerian Sista

      I agree. I am 26 and I had to learn the hard way. It is unfortunate but many women have no clue what it means to be a friend. When I had these types of people in my life and they drained so much energy from me. Now I don't believe ALL women are like this but many women or girls I came into contact were. And they were trash. The only thing is I often have to do things alone, but that's better than having someone around dragging you down with negativity smh.