10 Things They Don’t Tell You About Going Natural

March 26th, 2011 - By Veronica Wells

People will judge you, based on your hair
Whether it’s your grandmother who’s practically disowned you because she thinks you don’t get your “hair did” anymore, or an associate eyeing  with a look of sympathy, it will take time for the people in your life to accept your hair. Not only them, people you don’t even know will prejudge you based on what they think your hair is saying. A few months after I had undergone the “big chop,” I started my freshman year of college. A girl, a black girl I might add, who later became one of my good friends, told me that she thought I was mean when she first saw me. When I asked her why, she said because of your hair. Even though she couldn’t pinpoint why my hair made her think I was mean it influenced her opinion about me before we ever had a discussion.

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  • embracesme

    My last perm was May 2012 and it now January 2013 i didn’t do the big chop i don’t know what that is all about but i always keep my hair condition do a hot oil treatment once every 3 months i do breads and someday i just do my Afro and sometime i use flat iron but my hair is not thick

  • rad

    this article sucks. it makes women feel like going natural may not be the best thing to do. who cares what WHITE societal beauty standards are? Sisters stand proud of your natural beauty!

  • Nk18

    I hate when ppl think they are better because they have natural hair, you are not more black than I am and you are not more secure. If you were you would not need to compete and compare so shut it :)

  • chae

    I feel your pain, DJ. Black women have self esteem issues regardless of hair. We could all have straight hair down to our butts and it'll be something else. The hair is NOT the root of our problems. Pun intended! Most Black men are so used to the ever changing hairstyles we undertake that they really no longer care. What they care about is how we feel about ourselves. We do NOT holler in rage when we see derogatory images of our self in media. Regardless of how you wear your hair, if don't think you're attractive, they won't either. We, Black women,are no different than white women in respects to hair. Ask one about a bad dye job or perm. I have been natural for almost 3 yrs and now I'm going back to relaxers. I don't want to, but my lifestyle is just not conducive for my thick multi-textured hair. I don't have the time to spend on it. Period. I've had braids, cornrows, micros, weaves, and the hot comb. Granted my hair has grown tremendously, but what's the point when I'm limited to 72 hour straight hairstyles? I'm tired of having all this hair and can't even enjoy the length of it.

  • MissDee08

    In the US, YES you will be judged off your hair. I am often met with confused looks, when I open my mouth and speak. I have a head full of coarse, thick hair that I wear either in a puff or twists. The author did hit the nail on some points, and when I am asked what I do to my hair and what my natural story is, I always start with: THIS IS MY DISCLAIMER. As our hair comes in varying textures, it's always important to let your fellow sister know that her hair may not look like your hair, and vice versa. My closest friend and I are both natural. She can use products geared towards biracial people. My hair will laugh at all of that. I have one more to add to the list: natural hair, because it is natural, because it is me, definitely freed me of some of my insecurities, and I love that.

    Peace and blessings,

    Miss Dee08

  • SiSi

    Wow! Judgement?! Are you serious?! People judge becuase they want to judge you. People will tell you that you look mean if you have permed, dyed, curly, or braided hair. So why must I forwarn all woman who intend to go natural that people may judge you. NEWSFLASH: if your a person of color, a woman, disabled, fat, short, tall skinny or anything people have judged you. Why should anyone stop themseleves from trying something they like because they might be judged? People judge and its life. 0If your dad, brother, boyfriend or husband doesn't like your hair, so what! Are you living for them or you? I understand people have their own thoughts about what other people do but you live for yourself. As for husbands and boyfriends that might not like your natural hair. Ask them this"am I only beautiful because of my hair?". If the answer is yes you need to find yourself a new man. Yes, hair enhances beauty but that shouldn't be a deal breaker in any relationship. The arguements being made don't just make sense for people with natural hair. You could easily change the title to "10 things the didn't tell you about dying/perming/texturizing/etc.."

  • http://twitter.com/whitberries @whitberries

    So when is the ridiculously exaggerated article about the horrors of relaxed hair being posted, Madame Noire?

    • 1YearNappy

      EXACTLY let's talk about how after going natural a lot of women go through scalp pains for months like their head is going through withdrawal from creamy crack aka relaxers. Plus I love how she points out that both natural and processed hair can be unhealthy but doesn't point out the fact that the whole point of processing your hair is to break down the cuticle…so if your relaxer isn't damaging your hair, it isn't doing it's job. The article assumes that this movement of a lot of Black women going natural is all about empowerment and not at all about health. Maybe we're tired of putting drano in our hair or burning the hell out of it with flat irons to achieve some look. I just think the article would have been much more useful if it gave a more in depth discussion on the pros and cons of going natural.

  • eLP

    Sounds like Ms. Wells has self esteem issues. Most of your points are about 'other peoples' opinions. Life is about DISCIPLINE. It isn't usually convenient and neither is natural hair but it's much more healthy than having a perm. And you're such a negative lady. Go and seek counseling. All I hear is negativity and encouraging people to take the easy route. You're delusional obviously and must not have struggled a day in your life. Stop throwing ignorance at the people with gullible tendencies, I beg of you.. if any one decides to be nappy, LET THEM BE. Face your own 'straight for a while' hair. Kapish?

  • Marie

    I just went all natural on Jan. 28th 2011 (Big Chopped) and I love it!!!!!

  • Patricia

    late reading this but I would really like to SEE the person that wrote it. I choose my natural hair because the oppositie of that is UN-natural. And the harsh chemicals are UN-natural. If a Black woman actually wrote this article I'd really be amazed

  • Deb

    It's so funny. Some folk get so out there about black women being "brain-washed" into liking european hair they never stop to consider that there are less than exceptional grades of black hair just like there are less than exceptional grades of white hair. My hair is extremely fine AND extremely kinky curly. It's a fight no matter what I do to it….I just know I do not have TIME for a wrestling match on a day to day basis. My hair has already told me what time it is–no relaxers. I rock the braids most of the time. Rarely do I do a straight weave anymore because I've come to realize my face likes the volume of my natural hair–if ONLY IT WOULD $##@$@! cooperate–like my mothers!

  • Betty C-Heart

    I'm 6 months post relaxer–rockin a fast-growing TWA. And I am ABSOLUTELY in awe of & deeply moved by the warmth & support I receive when I encounter a sista with a more seasoned natural look.
    I adore the dialogue that ensues when I comment on their hair, "how long since your big chop…i began my journey back in…" It amazes me b/c she begins to share her story & we begin a new friendship…talk 'bout the TIES that bind!!
    It is particularly soul-satisfying for myself as a woman of a certain age…my tresses not only tolerate but seem to adore my hot flashes—now lovingly referred to as my "powered surges." Peace to All~

  • http://nappturallyspeaking.com MoZaic

    The writer had some good points but there was some bias information written. I’m natural and I was scared after reading this to go natural. If I was a transitioner or curious about naturalhair I would be reluctant after reading this. When I look for articles to read and share I want to feel encouraged and I didn’t get that at all. The naturalhair journey is as hard as you make it yes it takes courage and a good support system, yes it can be aot of work but its worth it and can be done.

  • http://gritsxcheese.tumblr.com futuresupernova

    it all depends on hair texture. my hair is very thick and long (1/2 down back) and i've been natural since day 1. no relaxer no perm, but i did use to straighten it, an still do from time to time. but wearing my "natural" hair pattern is not a task. i have wavy/ curly hair, so it's not hard to comb through most of the time. when it gets tangled all you need is detangling cream or conditioner. also to fight tangles use apple cider vinegar (make sure you rinse it out)… works like a charm. it's also perfect to skip out on shampoo because is strips the hair of natural oils, it should only be used when the scalp and hair is in dire need of cleaning. a product called WEN is great to use. it's a conditioner that can be used as shampoo (if you have thick hair it might not clean scalp good like reg. shampoo) nonetheless it made my hair detangled and it had little to no breakage.

  • NaturalBlackOne

    These words aren't encouraging… Mostly true but not encouraging. it's like saying we can't really be happy if we aren't relaxed, or natural hair is difficult to manage (that old dying stereotype). So what my hair isn't straight in the sink… Was that a reason to put in this article? Sorry that was plain stupid. Any Black woman knows if she doesn't straighten it, how it's gonna look…

  • Tiphany

    This lady is just tryna persuade black women from going natural. Saying our hair looks like pubic hair? She hates the natural hair she was born with, thats why she tryna bring natural hair down.

  • Queen Sheba

    WHAT A CROCK!!!!

  • Lindsey

    Hmmm…I've been natural for about a year now and honestly, the thing that has surprised me the most is how great people say it looks. It's usually other black women rocking a fro or random guys touting how much they love natural women. Another thing, naturally kinky hair doesn't look anything like pubic hair. At least mine doesn't. Shrugs.

    Anyway, I think the one that has rung especially true is that my hair doesn't turn out the same as some of the girls I see on youtube, or on the natural hair blogs. I still use their techniques and I've learned not to get frustrated because my hair doesn't turn out exactly like 'so and so.'

  • nadine

    As a sister who went natural 23 yrs ago, and wore every style long and short, it really still boils down to the ingrained notion that nappy hair is bad and ugly and relaxed/permed/straight hair is right and desirable. When you free yourself from that thinking, you are truly carefree. Every sister should go natural to learn how deeply rooted our self-hate/self-esteem issues really run. Those who declare it is a preference are in denial unless you have done it; it will rock your world. When you get through the realization that your main detractors are other sisters (men love it, across ethnic backgrounds) and that most employers want neat and professional appearances and don't know/care that much about texture, you will be liberated. Once you have comfortably gone natural, you will understand and not let hair control you. You can just live in your beauty and move on. It takes effort to have a good-looking head no matter your texture. I love to swim and play and go out in the rain and have a predictable do. While my absolute favorite style was a very short fade, locs have been my solution for 10 of the past 23 years. It costs little to maintain and looks great all the time. Go natural and be free!!!

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