Comedian Wayne Brady Reveals Struggle With Depression: ‘Why Do I Feel So Dark?’
It’s frequently expressed that the funniest guy in the room also tends to be the saddest. And unfortunately, in comedian Wayne Brady’s case, this was true for quite some time. In a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight. the “Whose Line Is It Anyway” actor opened up about his lengthy battle with depression and what pushed him to make a change.
“Having a bad day is one thing, having a bad week is another, having a bad life … You don’t want to move, you can’t move in the darkness,” he shared. “You’re like, ‘I am just going to sit right here and want to wallow in this. As much as it hurts, I am going to sit right here because this is what I deserve. This is what I deserve, so I am going to sit here because I am that horrible of a person.’”
He went on to share that his negative mindset morphed into a vicious cycle of negative thinking and his condition worsened.
“It starts this cycle where you tell yourself these lies … and those lies become true to you,” he says. “So, you stick to your own truth you’ve set up. ‘If I am this bad, then why should any of this matter?’ I feel at that point, you end up wanting to stop the pain.”
The actor says that he hit rock bottom last June, on his 42nd birthday.
“I was there by myself, in my bedroom and I had a complete breakdown … Just go ahead and imagine for yourself a brother in his underwear, in his room, you got snot … and that birthday was the beginning of, ‘OK, I’ve got to make a change.'”
Wayne, who knew Robin Williams personally, says that the actor’s decision to end his life last August after struggling with depression also served as a wake up call.
“It took me a while to get my stuff together to go, ‘You know what? If you’re not happy, you have to do something about it,'” he said. “Just to admit that you are feeling this way is a huge step. To claim that, to say, ‘Why do I feel dark? Why do I feel unhappy? Let me do something about this.'”
Thankfully, Wayne is now on the road to recovery and he credits his ex-wife, Mandie Taketa, for helping him. Together, they co-parent their 11-year-old daughter, Maile.
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