Is “Gold Digger” a Bad Word?
Everybody’s got a hustle. Some people work 9 to 5. Others don’t need an office make money as professional gold diggers. But as women, is “gold digger” a name that should offend us?
Merriam-Webster’s definition of “gold-digger”: A person who uses charm to extract money or gifts from others.
The term “gold digger” usually gets women’s panties all in a bunch, because those types of women are seen as paid sex toys doing whatever a man requests, for money– similar to another profession. They want to be ‘kept’ and not work for their own. It doesn’t sound right, because it really isn’t OK to have ulterior motives in relationships or be completely dependent upon someone else. Also, it’s not safe for anyone to be completely financially dependent on someone (single or married).
Baje Fletcher, author of A Gold Digger’s Guide received criticism on her advice book on how to “get what you want without giving it up”. According to her, “Gold digger is a phrase coined by men and used as a method of reverse psychology on women.” She added, “However, women also use it against each other in hopes of putting the other down. [Gold digger is] a term created so women expect less from the male species and experience episodes called: guilt trips if they dare suggest that anything related to finances is expected from the opposite sex.”
From a survival point of view, Fletcher makes sense. Historically, women are gatherers and men hunters; instinctively we want a partner that can provide for home and hearth. Although we shouldn’t weed out men by the amount in their trust-fund, it is OK to want someone who can financially support your home (could consider your take home income as well). On the flip side, this doesn’t mean that we should discount men who make less than us.
It’s really about balance and being genuine in all relationships. If moola is a major issue, make it plain, but it shouldn’t be the only reason to be involved with a man…that’s just dangerous.