Is “Gold Digger” a Bad Word?

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June 15, 2010 ‐ By Danielle Kwateng

Is it wrong that her sponsor paid for that mimosa?

Everybody’s got a hustle. Some people work 9 to 5. Others don’t need an office make money as professional gold diggers. But as women, is “gold digger” a name that should offend us?

Merriam-Webster’s definition of “gold-digger”: A person who uses charm to extract money or gifts from others.

The term “gold digger” usually gets women’s panties all in a bunch, because those types of women are seen as paid sex toys doing whatever a man requests, for money– similar to another profession. They want to be ‘kept’ and not work for their own. It doesn’t sound right, because it really isn’t OK to have ulterior motives in relationships or be completely dependent upon someone else. Also, it’s not safe for anyone to be completely financially dependent on someone (single or married).

Baje Fletcher, author of A Gold Digger’s Guide received criticism on her advice book on how to “get what you want without giving it up”. According to her, “Gold digger is a phrase coined by men and used as a method of reverse psychology on women.” She added, “However, women also use it against each other in hopes of putting the other down. [Gold digger is] a term created so women expect less from the male species and experience episodes called: guilt trips if they dare suggest that anything related to finances is expected from the opposite sex.”

From a survival point of view, Fletcher makes sense. Historically, women are gatherers and men hunters; instinctively we want a partner that can provide for home and hearth. Although we shouldn’t weed out men by the amount in their trust-fund, it is OK to want someone who can financially support your home (could consider your take home income as well). On the flip side, this doesn’t mean that we should discount men who make less than us.

It’s really about balance and being genuine in all relationships. If moola is a major issue, make it plain, but it shouldn’t be the only reason to be involved with a man…that’s just dangerous.

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  • moi

    i agree that gold digger is a word used to bully women into lowering their standards

    so everyone can execpt that men like sex
    but dont like the fact that women like money?

  • hillary

    Baje's book changed my whole outlook on life, men and money for the better. I found her book on agolddiggersguide.com

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  • Mimi

    When I was younger (back when I could recite every Lauryn Hill song lyric and I could shout out feminist rhetoric) I used to detest "gold diggers" and every thing they stand for. Now, my attitude towards these ladies had indeed changed.

    Now, after witnessing a couple of male relatives endure the pitfalls of dealing with these types of women, I realize that these women are going to take only what is given to them. Gold diggers are usually upfront with their tactics and if there is a man who is willing to do all that is required, then they shouldn't cry foul, when the gold digger flies the coop because he has developed "feelings".

  • michelle

    great article. FYI – the term is "home and hearth"; not heart.