Eight Ways to Make a (Black) Man Run

March 25th, 2011 - By LaShaun Williams

 

Thanks to the decline in societal morals and values, the quality of men continues to dwindle. Marriage-material can be hard to find and the hounds are like wolves in sheep’s clothing. When you meet that great guy (who respects women other than his mom, loves Jesus, would never hit you and doesn’t have any side chicks) it’s important not to run him away. Like you, he too, has other options.

On the other hand, some of us need to cleanse our love lives and send the dogs packing. So, whether you’re trying to shake a flea or continue to polish your gem, here are a few things to avoid or embrace that deter black men:

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  • salkis

    I think number 7 should have been left out, I was so intrigued until read this part. Very sad that he can’t ‘run his finger’ through my nappy hair, geeesh!

  • anna o. jay

    Dearest Lashaun,

    Believe it or not, having natural hair does not mean that your head starts to look like a briar patch and is impossible to move your hands through. Been natural since '06 and I've never had that problem. Additionally, while some men may prefer not to run their hands through a head full of kinks, I'm willing to bet there's also a large number of men who don't want to run their hands over all the scabs on top of your scalp because every 4-8 weeks you coat it with a healthy helping of sodium hydroxide.

    Also, change the name of this article. It says things that will make a black man run but its clear that you're describing non self assured little boys whose balls probably haven't dropped yet.

  • GodsGift

    LOL this is all too hilarious. Where are the facts/statistics here? Oh, there aren't any. The only thing I got out of this article is how negative it makes the "black man" look. OMG, there are so many educated black men out there that want an equally educated black woman. Not every black man that pregnates a woman "runs"…ugh…. There are equally if not MORE black men that love black women who embrace their natural beauty…. hair included. So this article is nothing more than 1 womans opinion. I can't get upset, because she is allowed that, but really…what's the point? I'ts full of un-proven, non factual points. In other words… it's USELESS!

  • Newly Natural

    I really thought this was a progressive site. I've even come here to learn about caring for natural hair. I'm newly natural and let me tell you, the guys are still hitting on me, I would say interest has picked up! Real men are looking at the total package. I believe it is ignorant media bias like this that keep sisters from being who they are naturally. I won't be coming back here ANY kind of advice. Pure ignorance, pure BS. People we've got to do better!! As a race, we are our on worst enemy..

  • Mimi

    This list is pure ignorance and demoralizes the black man. Surely, if a man runs for most these reasons, then he is a coward and needs to leave. Plus, women need to concentrate on other things than trying to keep a worthless man. A real man accepts a woman as she is and loves her as is. What you are creating is a panel for which women's self-esteem can be damaged. We cannot morph ourselves into some Stepford wife for an undeserving man.

  • LovLeLocs

    I meant in “jest”, not “rest” but you get the gist. :-)

  • LovLeLocs

    Anyone who believes the outcry against #7 is just about looks or hairstyles is as unenlightened & superficial as the author. My husband of 11 years loves my natural hair. He went nuts when I wore it in a full natural versus the twists or twist out I usually wear. He also loves me in flat twist cornrows. He prefers these to when my hair was permed but has been supportive of all my looks. The real disservice here is the perpetuation of self-hatred of our natural beauty. Shame on you for contributing to it even if it was intended to be in rest (which I don’t buy). As for getting pre-authorization before changing my hairstyle, that is ridiculous. If a so-called man can’t accept you if you decide to change your look, then as Sade says…Keep Looking. And as some have stated look inward towards becoming the best you & don’t settle for anyone who doesn’t accept that.

  • CraziCurlz

    WOOOOOOW!!!!! I’ve had more love shown to me because of my NATURAL HAIR then when I had a weave down my ass!!!! Whoever wrote this is a self hating negro…that contributes to racism and division among our race. This is article is pure BS!!! Just cuz YOU HATE YOURSELF…There are some REAL AZZ BROTHAS that honor and respect their beautiful black queens!! Sad

  • Rose

    can u say 7 is dumb and shows how brain washed the world is….beauty is so much more then straight hair it's taking a stand by loving your self and other and allowing what God made to shine through. I just got married june 14th and my BLACK husband did not run away but ran to me and told me that this Rose natural and all is the one he wants for ever.

  • Michelle

    My husband begged me to go natural, and there are so many women out there that noticed as soon as they went natural, more black men ignored them, and more white men approached them. Don't you see that there is a deeper issue here? Also, what does the writer mean exactly by "good". So sad after all these years, that I still see evidence of self-hatred with black people. As soon as people started posting #7 on facebook, many people went to the madamenoir facebook page and clicked on "unlike" because enlightened people don't want to be a part of anything that would publish such an ignorant article. This article is one of the reasons why so many black women are still single. Please start writing articles on self-esteem, loving yourself, stop searching for the man with the degree if you don't have one yourself, stop acting like you are superior to your man if you have the degree and he doesn't, etc. Until then, many black women will continue to stay single. Write something with substance.

  • rj

    Stop black on black crime.
    Why are there so many negative articles about black women on every subject? Stop it, damn!

  • Shawne

    My husband encouraged me to go natural and loves pulling on my kinky hair! He loves the fact that I am a strong black woman willing to love and accept herself as she is and not as society says I should be. If your man leaves you for getting in touch with yourself and loving the "true" you then you should be thankful because he was not worthy of you!

  • Chilid

    This is just stupid. How can you say that natural hair will run a man away. That is some BS. What is this author"s excuse for the permed, and weave queens that are single.

  • http://www.marykay.com/bblackwelder Brenda Blackwelder

    You obviously have NOT been viewing the beautiful women on Naturalista Cosmetics who are KNOCKOUTS with their natural looks and natural locks! As in ANY style…proper maintenance is the key!

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