What’s Wrong With Women Proposing To Men?

October 24, 2014  |  

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From Single Black Male 

Blurred gender roles are a norm in today’s day and age.

Most of us want equality for both sexes in all facets of life. Ideally, this would be the case. The truth is that for this to be, there will be some resistance in some instances. For instance we have today’s subject of marriage proposal. Now some of us may feel that a woman proposing to a man would be tacky. Some simply thing that it isn’t right. We’ll explore this today whether it be in this post or in the comments. But the bottom line is that this here lies the same “what’s good for the goose” ideology. If men can propose to women, so should a woman propose to a man.

Will this ever be an “in” thing to do?

I’m not sure; what I can give you all, my SBM faithful is my views on it. Heading to brunch this past Sunday I was talking to my boy about this. I told him that serious couples discuss things like marriage and their futures together. To me, if a couple discusses their future together then a woman should feel confident enough to know that one day her man will propose. Whether or not a woman is patient enough to wait is another question.

Of course another question that arises is how long is too long to wait? I really don’t know. Different people have different levels of patience. My patience threshold is pretty solid. This also depends on circumstance and the personalities involved. I’ve seen people get engaged and married within a calendar year; and stay married.  I have also seen couples be married for thirty plus years and still see it fail. So there’s obviously more than one way to skin a cat. When it comes to proposals you can argue there’s no right or wrong way. I say that in regards to who proposes.

I actually dated a woman a while back who said that she would entertain the idea of proposing to a man.

I was shocked to say the least. She was a bit of a go getter. My guess is that maybe more extroverted women are open to proposing to a man. What I did find interesting was a study that I read on menshealth.com. It said that 83% of men won’t wear a “man-gagement” ring. So the majority of us fellas aren’t into this idea basically.

Why am I not into it? I’m a forward thinking cat. I believe in being creative and pushing envelopes. I believe in challenging thoughts and the whole shabang. Strangely enough, I’m still a bit of a traditionalist. I think the proposal process is the time for a guy to be supremely romantic. There’s not another day where a woman should imagine being swept off her feet any better. A woman proposing to us robs us of our creativity for such a special moment. That’s just me.

Read more about female proposals at SingleBlackMale.org 

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  • Savant

    I don’t think popping the marriage question is the hard part or the one that matters. The harder part is in pursuing the other person for a relationship. This is emotionally very tedious. Traditionally men have been expected to do it all. With all the talk and action going on about women empowerment, I would expect women to start doing their part. Empowerment starts with taking responsibility, not hiding behind the talk of traditional gender roles to suit one’s convenience.

  • letsbehonest

    lets look at it this way if you have a man that works a 9-5 you work a 9-5 as well and if he gets home first he starts dinner have the kids at the table doing home work wash clothes on the weekend clean up without you saying so and this man has been doing this for about 3 years no women texting or staying out late and will take off to take the kids to the doctor, you best believe I will put a ring on cause you wont find another dude better.

  • NOPe

    IMO, most men aren’t leaving women romantically hanging, it’s just that what women have manifested in their head isn’t playing out according to their own plan, which they have devised for both people. Either a man wants to marry you, or he doesn’t. No proposal = no plans with you. Of course YOU had plans. Most women peddle relationships/ideas of marriage from one man to the next and think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread for every man they meet. Maybe, but probably not if you’re romantically frustrated. And who or what is promising women these things to begin with?
    “Be a man” = a woman is salty she’s not getting her way. How about more women “be a woman” by realizing you can’t nominate yourself as being “The One”. Not to mention that women are constantly complaining about how awful other women are, so who’s lying??

    The whole gender roles argument is hilarious because that doesn’t prevent a lot of women from emasculating men in other ways. At the end of the day, most women just want their way, which changes with the wind, and is why there’s never any consistency with their arguments or positions on anything in general.

  • MajorKinksnCoils86

    No, I wouldn’t do it, and wouldn’t recommend it to women I know. However, if it is other womens doing that’s their business. I talked about this with one of my friends before, and we agreed it is the mans duty, no matter how society see’s the role. I believe if a man is ready and he see’s that woman as his wife, he wouldn’t hesitate in asking her. Sometimes they are ready to be stable for themselves so they can provide stability with their wife, and that shouldn’t be rushed. When I hear about women proposing, it makes me feel that they are either impatient, and or needy. This doesn’t mean that they are, but why the rush? Also, I find it can make the man feel less than a man, and that the woman proposing has control issues. Again, this is how I see it and it doesn’t mean it’s factual, just my observation.

  • enlightenment

    I wouldn’t do it. If you feel the need to “take the reigns” on the relationship, so to speak, and ask him for his hand in marriage…chances are you’re simply rushing it and you just might be pushing him into something he’s not ready for.

    Not a good look!

  • NOPe

    Just another example of convenient rights for women. The bride’s family paying for the wedding is also “tradition”, but no woman wants to talk about that. “Men are hunters”, well hunters typically go after the weakest and easiest prey, but no woman wants to talk about that. The real reason most women aren’t romantically proactive is because they’re terrified of rejection, but no woman wants to talk about that either.

    • Tonyoardee

      CHIURCHH!!! This guy preaching!!!

  • Lateformyfuneral

    The fact that women need a ring in the first place is kind of pathetic.

    • black men don’t marry

      No wonder why the black out of wedlock rate is at 72% …..

      • Lateformyfuneral

        Reading comprehension, you should try it. I never said they shouldn’t get married.

  • York

    Ladies, stop ignoring the fact that men are natural hunters! If you’re in a heterosexual relationship, why would you want to take away what comes natural to him and disguise it as female empowerment? But I will say: if what a woman desires is a relationship with a man who can’t or WON’T hunt, then she should go on ahead and propose, I guess. Just don’t be surprised when he continues to let you take on roles that weren’t designed for you.

  • MsLadyE

    I’m not against women proposing to men. However, I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it.

  • honeybee808

    i think it all depends on the relationship, but generally speaking, i think it’s best if the man ask, because men tend to be all or nothing when it comes to relationships; so when they ask, i would like to think it is because they’re ready. men don’t really “come around” like women do, so if they ain’t wit it, it ain’t happening.

    • Tonyoardee

      we dont do anything…..? Really? The onus isn’t on us to initiate a relationship, approach, court, nothing..?

  • Dahlia

    It’s not for me but nothing’s wrong with it. Its not about tradition. Its not about rejection. It’s about male validation. No matter how confident or strong some women CLAIM to be they still look to men be validated. Women want to gush and brag about how their fiancee proposed over a candlelight dinner. Some women can’t feel good about themselves unless a man think’s they’re special. This is why you constantly see women choosing a man over their family and friends.

  • Guest

    Women complain about men not being men. Well this doesn’t help. We’ve completely switched gender roles in our society and wonder what’s wrong with each other. Men being househusbands, not working and women proposing and taking care of men who won’t or don’t work. You have to let a man be a MAN!!!!!!!!!! Men have always and will always do what women allow them to do!! So if you want a MAN to be a MAN and take care of business, stop treating him like a BOY!! Too many women allow MEN to behave like BOYS!! THE FEMINIZATION OF MEN CONTINUES!!! Yes I know people are going to come at me for saying it, but it’s true!!!

    • bored@wizerk

      Understandable.

    • 1Val

      Its not that deep.
      Any man who WANTS a woman will DO ALL he can to ensure no other man haves her.
      If a woman has a man who refuses to work, lets her take care of and proposes to him he does NOT want her.

    • positivebeatsnegative

      Say that!!! You took the words out of my mouth…

  • bored@wizerk

    Just my Opinion, so don’t get all crazy one me. When he is ready to get married (to you) I feel he will ask.

    • MajorKinksnCoils86

      I agree 100%, I don’t think any woman can make a man ready with proposing, if anything he may feel obligated to say yes, but deep down he may feel less than a man.