The Types Of Instagram Friends Every Black Woman Has
Scroll down your feed for 30 seconds and you’ll find most of these Instagram friends filling up you’re page. They get on our nerves, make us laugh and they’re the reason we check our feed even before we get out of bed.
Your Single-est Friend
Who gives daily
hints to her single male followers helpful lessons on “how to be a good woman.” Because apparently she’s an expert.
The New Lovers
On the one hand, it’s kind of beautiful to watch love grow online. On the other hand, reading all of these love-sick posts are kind of like watching them make out in public. Just roll your eyes and wait for it to be over.
The Love Roller Coaster
About once a month, they find “the one,” dead “the one” and keep everyone entertained with the dirty details in-between.
The Unhappy Employee
They are always “this close” to quitting, reading their co-workers and leaving early for the day. You’re laughing but you have no idea why they’re still hired.
Miss Motivational Speaker
No one’s social media line up is complete without at least one hustler. Their “get out there and get it done” posts may fill up your feed, but they also keep you on your game.
The Conspiracy Theorist
She’s 100% convinced that Jay-Z is the king of the Illuminati and ebola is just another manufactured disease designed to keep the black man down. You’d share your two cents, but the argument in the comments section already looks full.
The Wrap Hustler
Remember when she used to post real-life updates instead of promos?
The Happy Housewife
All of those pictures of dinners, desserts and constructive projects with the kids are starting to make you wonder when she has time for sleep.
Ms. Thanks The Lord For Everything
She’s thanked Jesus for her flawless makeup, letting her ride that extra half a mile on E and getting the good seat at the morning meeting — and it’s not even 10 a.m.
Miss 1000% Natural
As soon as you get around to getting healthy, you’re totally going to try that recipe for gluten-free peach cobbler.
The News Junkie
Homeless people biting faces in Florida, the man who choked the girl who Catfished him: if it’s wild and crazy and in the news, you read it on her page first.
Just when the work day’s feeling too long, she brightens up the feed with a daily laugh.
You know everything about her sex life, her jump offs and the dirty websites she visits. You can’t even visit her page during page during work hours. At best it’s R-rated. At worst it borders on “X.”
The Weave Wizard
You don’t even know her, but if you’re ever in her neighborhood you’ll ask for a seat in her chair.
She’s killing it in marriage and at work and you’re right behind her working to get on that level.