You Think You Know But You Have No Idea: 15 Tired Misconceptions About All Black Women

October 28, 2014  |  
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Black women, to everyone who isn’t a black woman, are mystical, complicated creatures. We are often misunderstood because no one takes the time to understand us (my opinion…not fact). There are stereotypes associated with every race, but many negative ones are attached to black people.

While black men have their own set of misconceptions perceived by others, black women deal with broad generalizations being made about us as well. These are a few of the ones that I’ve heard all too often about how people think we are, but they really have no idea.

 

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We don’t like to see black men in interracial relationships

Some women cringe at the thought of seeing a black man with someone other than a black woman. I don’t, and this is especially true if I don’t want him. Many of my friends and other women that I know feel the same way. Some of them are even involved in interracial relationships of their own. Please understand this: Not every black woman is angry when they see a non-black woman involved with a black man.

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We all have bad attitudes

I get angry. I can be sassy. Sometimes I have a temper, but am I a walking loose cannon? No. Black women are notorious for being strong, specifically our ancestors, but this doesn’t mean that we are ready to snap on anything and anybody. We do not all have bad attitudes. Some of us, not me…but some of us, are very mild-mannered and calm individuals.

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We are bitter

A man getting into a relationship with a black woman automatically assumes she’s been hurt and is scarred because of it. Having your heart broken doesn’t mean you’ve become bitter. We are not all sitting around complaining about what someone did to us 10 years ago. We get over things too!

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We are controlling

I admit that I’m a control freak, but only with things that really concern me. Not all black women are this way. One misconception about black women is that we are naggers. We like to know everything and control everybody. This is not the case. While most of us like to know as much information as possible about a person or a situation, we are not all waiting around to change a person or regulate his or her life.

 

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We wear extensions because we don’t have hair

I have hair. I wear my real hair. I also wear extensions. Some people automatically assume that wearing extensions is a sign of unhealthy hair or no hair at all. This isn’t always the case. Some of us simply love the versatility that extensions provide.

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We wear extensions because we have self-esteem issues

We love our hair. However, some people (including some of our own people) think that when we wear extensions it’s because of a lack of self-love. For some, that may be the case. For others, it’s not. Again, some women just love versatility. I think it becomes a problem only when you become dependent on extensions or any other accessory to boost your self-esteem.

 

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We don’t work out because of our hair

Another hair misconception concerning black women is our workout regimens, or lack thereof.  Some people think we don’t exercise because we don’t want to mess up are ‘dos. Now, I’d be lying if i said this wasn’t a factor in many of our workout schedules, but it is not the only factor. If we really want to work out, we will. The plethora of black women with to-die-for-bodies and super healthy lifestyles is proof of that.

 

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We Can’t Swim

One of the biggest misconceptions is that black women don’t swim. We don’t know how to and we don’t want to (again, because of our hair!), but this is not true. These days, more women are learning to swim and participate in a wide variety of sports. Look at Serena and Venus!

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We hate being single

It’s been drilled in most Americans’ heads through the media: The single black woman is prevalent and she’s miserable according to statistics. Are the numbers of eligible black men for black women disheartening? At times they are, but some of us have fun-filled single lives full of non-committed dates and adventures, and we are cool with that.

The biggest misconception is that the single black woman is crying herself to sleep at night. I’m not. And I’m sure several other black women are okay being single too.

 

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We don’t know how to be let a man be a man

I’ve heard several black men, specifically those who prefer interracial relationships, say that black women are more combative and less submissive than other races. The misconception is that we don’t know how to let a man be a man. This is not true. While most of us pride ourselves on not being doormats, we know that men and women are respectfully different.

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We are never satisfied

Nobody, black, white or other, is ever satisfied. But I often hear men say that black women are never satisfied and/or that we don’t know what we want. This is the case for some black women, but then again, it’s also the story of women of different races as well.

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We are either too independent or too dependent

It’s either/or when it comes to black women when you speak to some people. Either we are too headstrong and set on making it on our own or we are looking to be ‘saved.’ News flash! Some of us are comfortable being independent but have no problem allowing ourselves to depend on someone from time to time. But on the flip side, just because a woman wants a man who is financially stable or at least on her level, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s looking for a meal ticket.

 

 

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We don’t trust men

This misconception piggybacks off of bitterness. While many of us have been cheated on, we don’t all necessarily think all men are dogs. Maybe some of them, but not all.

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We have ‘daddy’ issues

Contrary to popular belief, many of us grew up with our fathers. And not all of us who didn’t grow up with him have major issues because of his absence. Don’t get me wrong, a father in a daughter’s life is crucially important, but it’s not mandatory to live a happy, well-adjusted life. While there are a lack of father figures in the black community, there are plenty of good ones and not all of us are suffering from ‘daddy withdrawals.’

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We Are All Against Each Other

I have several genuine friendships with black women. I refrain from cattiness and hating on women simply because they’re attractive, successful, etc. I know many women who refrain from doing the same thing. In fact, we support each other. All black women aren’t petty and against each other. Most women actually want to see the other succeed (emphasis on women.)

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  • Jason Johnson

    There is a “not all” category in most discussions but systematic patterns of behaviors is obvious to society. You say black women aren’t controlling yet say you are a control freak. You make a case of black women swimming, yet use black tennis players to make your point. Most white women know being submissive actually wields the power..its a woman’s power of persuasion. Has nothing to do with being “strong” from genes of ancestors. Confusing point of views you make.

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