15 Breakup Commandments To Live By

October 1, 2014  |  
1 of 15

Thou shalt not do any of this when it’s over — or you’ll find yourself in relationship purgatory.

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Thou Shalt Not Drunk Dial

Hand your phone to a friend before you start doing shots — unless you want to wake up right back where you started.

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Thou Shalt Not Backslide

Going through a breakup is like going through withdrawal. Getting back with him now is just a way to avoid the inevitable pain of detoxing. Until you’re ready to start thinking rationally it’s best to put a no-contact order in place.

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Thou Shalt Not Blow Up His Phone

Sometimes you just don’t get the closure you’e looking for. Instead of filling up his mailbox, find something else to do every time you get the urge to call. Hit the gym, chew some gum or list all the reasons why you’re better off without him.

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Thou Shalt Not Vent On Facebook

Everyone knows who those vague posts are really about. And once you’re over your anger, reading those old posts will make you feel as bitter as you looked to your social media circle. Better to just de-friend him and move on with your online life.

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Thou Shalt Not Be “Just A Friend”

Just. Stop. Are you ready to hear about the new girl he just met? Then you’re not ready to just be friends. Save yourself some heartache and give yourself some time before you extend the olive branch.

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Thou Shalt Not Rebound

No one is more emotionally needy than someone who’s fresh from a breakup. Don’t be afraid of a fling, but don’t commit to a man who you only hang around to satisfy your craving for cuddling.

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Thou Shalt Not Eat Your Feelings

A weekend’s worth of chunky monkey is more than enough. Instead of eating your feelings, try working them off. The exercise will boost your endorphins, lift your mood and make sure that he doesn’t catch you rocking the breakup 15.

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Thou Shalt Not Shade His New Girlfriend

You may hate that heifer with a passion, but try to remember that your breakup wasn’t her fault. And even if it was, hanging on to all of that old anger is the worst way to move on.

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Thou Shalt Not Put All of Your Business on Front Street

When you’re still furious, outing his low down dirty dog-ness sounds like a good idea. But once you’re done hurting you’ll regret airing all of that dirty laundry.

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Thou Shalt Not Get Revenge

Keying his car, lighting his clothes on fire and getting his phone cut off are all illegal. Before you do anything stupid, imagine explaining it to a judge while your ex looks on.

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Thou Shalt Get Busy

Channel some of that breakup pain into training for a marathon, learning an instrument or killing it at work. Staying busy will help you heal and give you a self esteem boost to be proud of.

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Thou Shalt Not Burn Out Your Friends

It hurts and you want to talk about it — all day every day. But even your BFF will get tired at some point. Instead of talking her ea off, write it down in your journal, sing it out with your favorite breakup album and give her a break.

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Thou Shalt Not Put It All On Him

Every breakup is a two way street. Even if he was unfaithful, it’s time to spend some time thinking about why you stuck it out with him for so long. A little play by play revision of this relationship can help you keep from making the same mistakes in the next one.

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Thou Shalt Not Pretend You’re Fine

You don’t want the man who broke your heart to know that he has the power to make you cry. But holding it all inside isn’t healthy. Don’t let keeping it real keep you from experiencing healthy emotions.

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Thou Shalt Not Give Up On Love

Do your best to dump your baggage right along with your ex. There are good guys out there, but none of them want to be with someone who blames them for what “that guy” did. He already ruined one relationship, don’t let him ruin another.

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