Is Your Man Becoming More Important than Your Girlfriends?

March 17, 2011  |  

“What About Your Friends?”

The three crazy, Hot and cool ladies posed the question best. We’ve all had our spats with our girlfriends, claimed we have more male friends than females and that we can’t get along with our own sex, but every woman needs a female friend. Well, at least in my opinion. The one to confide in that will understand every ounce of what you may be going through without nodding off. That friend can be one from childhood, a home skillet from college or even your blood sister. But with the well of available men (black, white, whatever) drying up like elbows straight out the bathtub, I’ve started to notice that it seems women are putting an even greater amount of importance on relationships with their men than their friends. Time to be honest and ask the question, these days, do we put more value on our relationships than we do our friendships?

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  • D. Isabell

    Yes, its sad. I am experiencing this now. I don’t have many friends in my state that I can call up or even call to go out because they are glued at their man hip. I’m like you man can’t be both a man and a women you tell about womanly issues like he’d care to understand. More the only time the girls want to hang out is when their man want to be with his boys, smh.

  • D. Isabell

    Yes, its sad. I am experiencing this now. I don’t have many friends in my state that I can call up or even call to go out because they are glued at their man hip. I’m like you man can’t be both a man and a women you tell about womanly issues like he’d care to understand. More the only time the girls want to hang out is when their man want to be with his boys, smh.

  • help

    I could use advice on this situation. I have a girlfriend I’ve been close to for nearly 10 years. I am a relationship person while she prefers the single life. we have always maintained a decent balance of friendship and girl time whether I’m single or not. recently, I fell for a horrible (I was blinded by his lies…) guy and we dated for 6 months. the most unhealthy relationship I’ve ever even HEARD of let alone experienced. cheating and lying, while dragging me along the whole time. my loyal girlfriend hated him with me, despised him, and said he was dead to her, even though I stayed with him trying to make it work, she still supported me. until I broke up with him in march, and she started seeing him. yeah. you’re in as much disbelief as I was. I had started seeing an amazing man unexpectedly shortly after I ended the crazy relationship, who ironically is my girlfriends old best friend, although they haven’t been close in almost five years. long story short, my new relationship is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. in fact I feel like he is the one. although my girlfriend and I went through a rough patch, I still love her even after she broke girl code and hurt me. I never told her she hurt me. NOW, she is causing a rift in my new relationship because of a stupid disagreement between the two of them. they are old friends afterall. question being, do I let my friendship (which is nothing like it used to be) ruin a potentially forever relationship? or do I stay loyal and choose her side? part of me says to go with my boy, and never look back, as her and mine relationship is never going to be quite the same anyhow. no wonder women choose their men over friends most of the time. girls are vicious. am I selfish for thinking this way? I’m almost 30, and while she wants to party all the time, I spend my weekends at home with my love, drama free and very happy. hmm? sounds like a no brainer.

  • Love this article! and i can most certainly relate to this i have one to many friend ditch me because of their boyfriends, its sad but it happens. however i do feel that its very important to have a balance.. anyways all the same nice article!

  • Venting friend

    OMG ladies lets get it together! I have kicked many of friends for this reason, let me explain. I am a 22 year old college student and I have the same friends since middle school. I have been there ALWAYS! I've paid phone bills for friends when times got hard, I've bailed friends when they were foolishly arrested and Im just all around a great friend. R U telling me a man who you met 7 months ago has priority over our friendship?! What we have is a relationship also, and I feel disrespected when friends can't balance the ppl they r involved with. And @ 22! come on I don't think that young man wants to wife u anytime soon. I understand when your Married you have to place home first, no argument with that but thats when your MARRIED! The government nor the bible recognize bf/gf, ur married or your single!

  • medryl

    My true friends remain in my life…but i have never been a very friendly person i barely even go out and id rather spend time in my man's arms that with friends shopping…so yeah friends matter…but to a certain point.

  • Like anything else it's easy to see when other's do it but when we do it ourselves, it's harder to recognize. I checked my girl about this and somebody else checked me about it. Touche!

  • Well played girl!

  • Jasmine

    Your response is 100% on point girl! I, unfortunately, have a friend like that. She'll get a new boo, I wont hear from her in months and when they're down and out my phone is lighting up with her number wanting to "chill"…sad. You're so right; you definitely cannot put your all into a man. He'll feel smothered and you'll soon regret it.

  • Creating in Cali

    I always knew my man was more important than my girls. That's my baby! I'd I do anything for him and I know he'll do the same for me. He is my eyes and ears. I've loved him because of the truth he has given me from a MAN's perspective. Me and my girls are disallusioned about what a man wants because we are not MEN. Men have the ability to read through all your girls' good/bad intentions, and if you think about it. She knows when you decide to start your OWN family, of course her time is going to be compromised with you… so you have friends who will sabatoge your relationship because they don't have one. Read your bible. It says, when you get married (or intend to) to leave your parents home and start your own foundation. Why does it say that? Because you need to grow up and learn to listen and rely on your own inner voice for your own family…. Too many women are influenced by their girls and value their girls opinion more than their man's, which is why there's so many single women out there… As we get older and more mature your priorities change and so does your purpose in life. And Only you can decide that.

    • Creating in Cali

      Well said; Your right on point, I agree 100%! The problem is too many ppl don't know who they are. They don't spend enough time "alone" as their #1 fan; which makes it difficult for them to make independent decisions/choices without having someone else's input… Only time will get these ladies/women to a point where they are more concerned for their own wellbeing over their friends opinions and preferences. SELF-identity is key when it comes to relationships.

  • Jasmine

    menissance…. how old are you? child, please stay off of grown people's websites. If you are a grown man; God bless you. Sir, you can't spell or write a full proper sentence. "im part of the male population that other mens wives/girlfriends are cheatin and doin other foul sh!t with lmbao" ???? What the hell is that? Please, black man, go get some form of an education for the sake of our people all together. No one takes someone seriously who sounds ignorant. That is all and thank you…menissance? God Bless and Much Love 🙂


    • menissance

      @Jasmine: what are u, a school teacher…how bout u take ur a$$ to one and get a job as a language arts teacher, that way u can atleast get paid for the spell checkin…this the internet dumbazz, most ppl spell like they fuccin text dried up b!tch…its not that serious h0e lmbao