The Silver Lining Of A Missed Connection

March 25, 2015  |  

 

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I think everyone has that one moment, that one time and that one person we look back on and think, “what if?” You wonder if you missed out on a great opportunity, or even the love of your life. If you had only taken that extra step forward, would your life be different?

I feel as though people get this way when they’re reminiscing on past relationships and possible connections–and when they’re lonely. We wonder what our lives would be like if certain people were in them.

But I’m here to tell you that sometimes it’s best that the relationship or encounter didn’t work out the way that you wanted. No, I’m not a psychic. I have no idea of how your past or your future relate.  I’m just here to put your mind at ease.

I too find myself thinking back on love lost sometimes. I ponder on what would have happened if I’d accepted that one date, or picked up the phone that one time. Would things have worked out differently for me?

The problem with such thinking is that it creates a very slippery slope that can cause you to get stuck in a world of perpetual “what ifs.” It’s not pleasant. It causes you to focus so much on what you may have missed out on that you end up ignoring the great things in your life right now.

If you think about someone too much because of loneliness or boredom, you may begin to idolize them.  You turn their annoying and dysfunctional habits into lovable quirks and only remember all of the positive moments and feelings they stirred up within you.

I get it. Sometimes we need to remember that we are wanted and that we are loved. However, trying to reach back out to that person might not be the best idea. There was probably a very good reason why the two of you didn’t work in the first place.

I’m not sure if you believe in coincidences or not, but I believe that if someone is meant to be in my life, they’ll be there. If I had a chance meeting with someone, or even bonded with them on a Megabus ride from Chicago (true story), I just take it as that: a chance meeting and a pleasant interaction.

It’s not as romantic, but neither is sitting there pining away for someone who is no longer around. All that pining may cause you to miss out on a very real chance to meet someone who is truly compatible with you and meant to be in your life.

Living in the past is very distracting and useless. As I stated before, you only get hurt when you become too preoccupied with what’s behind you.

Instead of wondering “what if,” appreciate “what is,” and use those past moments, memories and experiences as a way to remind you that there is someone out there for you. You’ll meet them when the time is right. Until then, enjoy life, appreciate every moment, and see the silver lining in that missed connection. Yeah, he/she may have seemed like a great person, but they’re not the only great person out there.

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