“I’ll Call You”: 15 Things Guys Say That They Rarely Ever Mean

September 3, 2014  |  
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“It’s not you it’s me,” “we should just be friends,” “I did not have sexual intercourse with that woman”: some of the things guys say just can’t be believed. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re bad people: just that there are some things that you shouldn’t take at face value.

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I’ll Call You

Of course men really do call back. But if you hear these three little words as he’s gathering his clothes and hurrying out the door, you probably shouldn’t hold your breath.

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Tell Me How Many Men You’ve Slept With

The best translation of this sentence is “please make up a slightly-below average number because the only men who ask this question are the ones that get insecure if that number is too high.”

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I’m 6′ 2″

Never trust a man you’ve never seen in person to tell you the truth about his height. Best case scenario he’s only adding an inch or two. But you should probably leave your first date heels at home just in case.

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She’s Just a Friend

No one knows the exact percentage of beautiful women you saw him talking to while you were waiting to pick him up from work, or “Kim from the Mall” found in his phone, but we have a feeling the number isn’t  low.

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They Call Me Big Poppa

If a man feels the need to reassure you about his size before you’ve had the chance to ask the question, it’s not a good sign. As a matter of fact you can be pretty sure that the more he talks about it the more you should be nervous.

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Can We Talk About This Later?

This one only sounds like you’re tabeling the discussion for a later date. Nine times out of ten, he’s hoping a nice gesture or some time in the bedroom will make you forget all about that confrontation that he really hated having.

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It’s my fault, I’m sorry

This is the official white flag of the other sex. It’s less about you being right than the fact that it’s 1:30am on a Wednesday and he’s tired enough to say anything to get some sleep.

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I Don’t Do That

Any man who tells you that he doesn’t spend any “alone time” even in a committed relationship is just not telling you the truth. You can go ahead and add “I don’t watch those” to the list.

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Of Course You Look Good In That

It’s not that he doesn’t find you sexy, he just knows that there’s no other right answer to “how do I look in this dress.” And chances are, he’d be eternally grateful if you went back to DM’ing pictures of potential outfits to your friends instead of making him sweat a little right before you hit the door.

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I Don’t Like Women Who Wear Makeup

Bless his heart. He only says this because he doesn’t really know that “the natural look” isn’t really anybody’s natural look.

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We Need to Take a Break

We’re sure there are a few moments in history where a break meant mutual alone time for you to work on your issues. But more often than not, it means he’s been trying to get you to break up with him for months and this is as courageous as he can be about asking you to end it.

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No I Don’t Think of Maya Like That

He’ll never admit that he thinks your friend is attractive. But if he’s a good guy, this is just on of those facts of life and not a sign that he’ll ever act on his low-key crush.

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I’m a V.I.P. at my J.O.B.

If you’re still in the dating phase, he’s probably still lying about what he does at his job. When you’re dating a girl who’s standards are high, Sales Manager sounds a whole lot better than Junior Sales Associate.

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I Love You Too

Sometimes it’s real love. Sometimes you’re both naked and sweaty and saying it back seems like the right thing to do if he wants a shot at round two.

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We Should Start Exercising

There’s very rarely any “we” about it. It almost always means, “honey I love you but you’ve put on a few pounds.” Whether this ends in a gym membership or a fight is totally up to you.

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