Key to Happiness? Not Caring What Others Think!

March 15th, 2011 - By Dr. Phoenyx Austin

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” — Dr. Seuss

I believe that the key to happiness is being your most authentic self and not caring what other people think. Some may agree, some may disagree. But that’s what I believe.

Do you care too much what others think? Do you constantly seek approval from other people?

If you said yes to either one of these question you’re definitely not alone. Many of us have had these moments. And some of us are living entire existences surrounded by the validation and approval of other people.

I used to be that way- to a certain degree. I worried what other people thought of me. I wanted everyone to like me. But that mindset proved to be a very unsatisfying and unrealistic- especially when I started writing and doing media. I tried to be as “pc” as possible, and ironically, some people still had a problem with what I said or wrote. Then I accepted that not everyone was going to like me. And I decided to stop caring so much. I decided to just do what I love, be my most authentic self, and interestingly enough, life and work became a lot more fulfilling. Now I happily do what I do, accepting the congratulations and criticisms.

Only when we get older do many of us realize the futility in pleasing everyone and constantly looking to others for validation. In fact, a dear friend of mine (an older woman) stated that women go through various stages in our lives. In our 20’s we walk into a room and think “I hope they like me!” In our 30’s we walk into a room and think, “They’re definitely going to like me!” And then in our 40’s and beyond we walk into a room and think, “I don’t give a damn if they don’t like me!”

Ultimately, we learn to be truly happy in our own skin. And we no longer need the validation of others to determine our happiness. Oh, if only all of us could have come to that conclusion earlier!

Ladies and gents, if you want to be happy, genuinely happy, then be true to yourself, live your life as authentic as possible, and let the chips and opinions fall where they may. Don’t be afraid to be show the world the real you. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Trust me, when all is said and done, the people who love and respect you will gladly welcome your authenticity.

Do you agree that the key to happiness is not caring what others think?

If you liked this article and want to know more about our writer, Dr. Phoenyx Austin, fan her on Facebook! Dr. Phoenyx is a physician, writer, & media personality. She is a young woman living passionately and truthfully- hoping to empower, educate, and entertain women through her witty, straightforward commentary on love, relationships, sex, and culture. She is also currently working on her first fiction book- a psychological thriller.

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  • Becky

    I've heard of that quote before! :) It makes more sense to me than Buddha. But then I'm 16 (and 10 months, sound like Adrian Mole, eh) so…yeah. umm I don't really know much about a lot. (apologies to all Buddhists?)

    But the one time that I did manage not to care about people liking me, was when I really messed things up and everybody hated me (I might be over-exaggerating) Anyway, it was horrible, practically one of my worst fears, it sounds stupid but it really messed me up. Until I realized that it wasn't that bad really. Sun was still there in the morning, stars where still laid out in exactly the same lovely way at night and I didn't feel happy about it but I felt so free. All the things that I had feared for years that people might think of me; they now thought; not only thought; they knew and there was no way of fixing it.

    In the end, I don't think it's healthy to focus on being accepted too much. You should do things for you, for you and do things for other people, for other people. When you start to do things for you, but for others and vice versa; everything just gets a bit fecked up. So I agree…I think. Good article, thanks for writing it. :)

    What I really need advice on is how to use semi-colons properly ;)

  • Tigerlily212

    Awesome article and much appreciated. Couldn't have come at a better time! This is something I've been dealing w/ for the longest time and while it's always easier said than done, I'm gonna post this somewhere as a reference guide b/c it's so inspirational. I co-sign w/ the comment about ppl not liking u no matter what, that sometimes u just can't win so that helps to keep things in perspective. Just be your authentic self and you'll draw in the ppl that really matter and hopefully eliminate the ones that don't.

  • Prissy

    I AGREE with this article! I'm only 23 years old and I live by this! You can find the cure for Cancer , win the lotto and donate ALL your winnings to charity…. and some folk will still NOT appreciate you! LOL… LIVE your life by your OWN accord and keep it pushing ;-)

  • Garbage Man

    Joy is much more important than happiness. There is a very important difference between the two. You can still be unhappy even if you don't care what people think about you.

  • Andi Williams

    Couldn't agree more. It feels so great already at 30 to not give a damn. There are a hand full of people that I respect their opinion, everyone else….gets a shoulder shrug and an "oh well" lol

  • Lisa

    Great article…I'm at the stage of I don't give a damn if someone likes me or not…LOL

  • DJ1969

    This is true to a degree. Yes, we need to be comfortable in our skin and not let what others think concern us, but, there are times when others thoughts should serve as a wake-up call. It's not so about being "validated", but moreso as a self-assessment to check yourself (before you wreck yourself).

  • menissance

    good luck with that ladies…women are some of the most self-conscious creatures on earth and care what damn near everybody thinks about them lol XD

  • mona

    Yes, I totally agree! I used to always worry about what others thought about me, in fact it is still a struggle to this day but i have to remind myself people will talk about you if" You are fat or skinny, pretty or unattractive, wealthy or poor. Bottom line i am learning that people do not have to like me, and that is fine too- but the majority of the ones that do not like me-do not know me! I am humbled, loving person.

  • Ebonessence

    I totally agree and appreciate wholeheartly every letter in this article. My only issue is this Dr Phoenyx, what is it called when people feel they can say what they want and how they feel, albeit negative or positive and when you do the same thing they tell u oh you shouldnt say that or question your action? My husband and I have a build up temperment but it really makes us think we loony when someone doesnt want to be bothered with us anymore after we stood our ground at last

  • Eugenia

    Thanks Dr. Austin, I needed to be reminded of this. LOL.

  • NAR

    AMEN! GREAT ARTICLE!

    • http://creambmp.com Diary Young Ahole

      Same here!…i always thought this was the way to happiness…stop letting others bring you down..

      Look Ma No Eyebrow's http://t.co/S2PdRtn – Art of Shaving Your Eyebrows Just to Draw Them Back On