By Carolyn Castiglia, From YourTango
“You’ve gotta shave your as*hole if you want me to lick it.” It was one of the most absurd things I’d ever heard, and such a loaded statement! A guy I was dating just casually tossed that grenade out one afternoon after we’d finished “making love.“ His words exploded into the air next to my ears, and I was knocked off balance from the boom. Like a soldier under seige in a movie about war, time slowed for me and I went deaf while my vision blurred. In a cacophony of simultaneous thoughts colliding I tried to decode what I’d just heard. I have to shave my what? Why? Do people shave that? Is that a thing? Wait, and you want to do what to it now? Lick it? Why I am getting procedural preparation commands when this is the first time the idea of the procedure has been brought to the table? Am I even interested in this procedure? Why are YOU interested in this procedure? What the hell is happening here?! Fall back! FALL BACK!
I’m sure what I finally stammered out was, “Oh. Okay?” Because what do you say to that sort of thing? Especially when you’re not expecting it? This was after he told me that I should wax my virgin pubes and cajoled me into taking a shower with him by telling me, “Get your fat a*s in here,” and then smacked my wet butt. His domineering attitude had initially come across to me as sexy, but was slowly morphing into something toxic. I ended up playing the incident off by saying, “You know, I’m not sure if I’m ready to go there, but I’ll think about it.” (For the record: My salad remains untossed.)
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