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Basketball romances aren’t unheard of, but they certainly are rare. And when they do happen, and a real life Love and Basketball scenario seems to be in our midst, we can’t help but stop and pay attention.

NBA superstar Kevin Durant and WNBA star Monica Wright were that kind of couple. The two charmed the public on and off of the court, and they dribbled their way into our hearts. They were brought together by a passion for basketball, but were ultimately divided by a passion for Christ-or maybe, a lack thereof.

According to sources, the two broke off their engagement due to Wright feeling as though she wasn’t getting the support she needed from Durant while embracing her growing faith; a subject that she recently touched upon at the Minnesota Lynx Faith & Family Night, discussing her former commitment to Durant and her continued commitment to God.

“I was engaged last year and it kind of changed that relationship big time because I was going in a direction that unfortunately a lot of people aren’t willing to sacrifice their lifestyle for.”

Their breakup was shocking to many after witnessing Durant’s apparently pious behavior over the years (including his testimonies about his baptism and being spotted around town a lot these days with his pastor). So, the question becomes, “Can struggles over walks in faith be enough to make you end things with your ideal man?”

While I’m not very religious, I come from a devout Christian family, and my mother has always warned against the pitfalls of dating and/or marrying a God-less man. She told me, in words so stern that they could rattle the devil: “If you become intimate with a man who has no faith in God, you can’t be sure that he has faith in you. Further, he’ll go to hell, and he’ll drag you to hell with him.”

Yeah…that statement gave me nightmares.

The first few partners I brought home believed in God, and came from families that pretty much lived in the church. Naturally, this delighted my parents, who are both ordained ministers. Upon introduction, they would chuckle over scripture-based humor and quickly quiz my suitor on his faith and future. But, after years of dating, what became most important for me when seeking out a partner became less about faith, and more about understanding, acceptance, passion, friendship and companionship.

But could religion, or a lack thereof, divide me from my partner down the line? I would have to say yes, depending on the person and on the relationship.

I may not be religious, but Monica Wright is. And, if her relationship with Christ happens to be one of most important relationships in her life, and she felt that Durant was trying to undermine that or couldn’t accommodate her needs to encourage a faith-based relationship, she had to do what was best for her. From the outside looking in, for some, that might seem crazy, but her decision was valid because she felt that she couldn’t maintain both relationships without compromising her spiritual identity.

For those with a strong faith, it’s well-known that a person’s spirituality is their foundation. God is who they turn to when they have no one else to look to and who they feel is behind the blessings in their life. Their faith is a huge part of them and resonates in their personality, actions and speech. Their faith is something they were likely raised with, and expect to one day to share with their own children – which can cause problems in a mixed-faith relationship.

Sharing thoughts on dating history, goals and family planning is par for the course for a budding relationship, and so is discussing religion and the possibility of spiritual maturation. In my opinion, that conversation shouldn’t occur after you’ve invested years into a relationship, but rather, within the first year.

None of this means that a couple can’t make it work. Lord knows that if there are two people who are deeply invested and can be respectful of each other’s beliefs, they’ll triumph against all adversity. However, that’s only if both parties are willing.

You have to analyze your own beliefs and recognize the reality of your partner’s beliefs. Some people won’t change, and have no intention to, so you have to decide if you can share a life with a partner who likely won’t attend church with you, pray with you, celebrate certain religious holidays with you or be happy to raise your children with your set of beliefs. Consider their personal history and your own, and see if you have room for both your lover and your faith…or decide whether or not you’ll have to tell the new partner in your life, “Look, it’s not you…it’s God.”

 

 

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