Let’s talk about sex.
The men are always doing it: speaking on the performance of their past sexual partners, trading kinky tricks of the trade, putting compromising photos out there, dissing their exes–and it’s all done in public. I’ve never been one to kiss and tell, but it appears that it’s not a big deal for a lot of men, specifically, the men of hip-hop. With repeat offender Bow Wow casually dishing on the skills of all the famous women he has been with and Fredro Starr of ‘90s group Onyx ready to box with Charlamagne Tha God over comments the rapper made in the past about Brandy’s fellatio skills – men in music have always been more vocal about their past sexcapades.
But women aren’t necessarily innocent either. Karinne Steffans anyone? And yes, there is Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives, Hollywood Exes and Atlanta Exes. These shows are built solely on women trying to create lives outside of their ex-husbands and boyfriends while spilling tea about them here and there, but those women are hit with labels like “bitter,” “ratchet” or “industry h*e” when they open their mouths. Men, however, are championed for the same tired bars spit on wax and dirt revealed in interviews, and it’s time to give it up.
But the frat house mentality doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, no matter how many times you tell folks that it’s inappropriate:
When discussing who gives the best fellatio between Ciara and Angela Simmons while on “Wild N Out,” Bow Wow (who would rather be referred to as Shad Moss) had this to say: “Well, at one time they both was my women correct? So if you put one and one together I mean, of course we must have been doing the do if they was my women, correct? Well, then I might as well go ‘head and keep it even, they both is mighty, mighty, mighty swell.”
Nick cannon chided Mr. Moss on that show, saying he would have “pleaded the fifth,” but then again, he isn’t necessarily the poster child for keeping personal business private. If it wasn’t for Mariah Carey telling him to pipe down about their business and who he used to roll around with in the sack, he probably would’ve been just like the thirsty fans in the crowd during that show dying to know more.
Look, there is no reason why we should know who you’ve shared a bed or traded spit with and whether or not they lived up to your expectations. It doesn’t help 50 Cent’s career if we know that his sexual experience with talk show host Chelsea Handler was similar to wrestling with a gator. Is it funny? Maybe. But in the grand scheme of things, does it help him sell records? Absolutely not. It’s all just putting someone else on blast, a person who trusted you not to run to the streets telling their business.
We didn’t need to know that Erykah Badu’s “box” had Common whipped (especially since that rumor was going around for years…), or that Eminem had sexual relations with Mariah (something she denies). These inappropriate comments by men way over 18 are immature and they seem like a way to gain publicity rather than harmless jokes at exes who have long forgotten about them.
What makes matters worse is that many of these stars are fathers (or father figures) to little girls who cannot be shielded by their daddy’s raunchy commentary. These same men probably wouldn’t want their own child’s personal business and sexual encounters put out there for laughs and attention.
Kissing and telling is so junior high school. Can we all just…grow up?