Welcome to our weekly column, Reset. Written by Karen Taylor Bass, this column, published each Tuesday, is about life lessons learned and mastered mentally, spiritually, and physically and how they contribute to a successful life and career.
When was the last time you got good and dirty and touched yourself?
You know, getting to that place where you are stripped naked to reach a mind-blowing climax? Stop it! Get your mind out the gutter. I’m talking about taking a personal inventory to dig deep, expose your flaws, challenges and get real so you can strip away all the lies and misconceptions you feed yourself.
I’ve learned that the same issues I steadily run from are the things I encounter time and again on my journey until they are dealt with. Sound familiar?
Recently I read, Touch Yourself: 30 Ways to Boldly Live, Love and Let Go! by Deya “Direct” Smith, former Miss Black USA, the Go-to Girlfriend, a life coach and lead producer of the Tom Joyner Morning Show, reaching eight million listeners daily.
The book is a play on words emphasizing the importance of self-love and understanding. Deya empowers women to confidently take responsibility for their lives by owning their power, walking with purpose on purpose, while peeling back the layers to “touch” the mind, body, soul and spirit.
I sat down with Deya to chat about how we can press RESET and get naked to uncover our ultimate truth.
MadameNoire: What inspired you to write the book?
Deya “Direct” Smith: I wanted to share my experience about self-forgiveness and healing. The book is a metaphor to learn how to reconnect with your mind and not looking for anyone or circumstance to define you.
MN: Why does self-pleasure allow us to be free?
DDS: The pleasure comes from self-satisfaction – working from the inside out. Being okay with your truth. Your truth has to be you and it can be dirty, however, it must be authentic. If you are not good with you how could someone be attracted to you long-term?
MN: What happened that made you press RESET?
DDS: Anytime you RESET, it is because something is not going well. I was making life choices because of fear. Being alone. My second marriage was challenging. I saw the signs, yet continued to make poor choices. The man I married was smart, packaged in Armani suits, Gucci shoes, and actively engaged in substance abuse. I grew up with that and spent life running from that and now it was my truth. Although, it was time to move on, end the relationship – I didn’t.
MN: How did you reset?
DDS: Taking the time to touch and make love to me. After my marriage ended, falling on my face, I lost my voice and stopped believing in magic. I started therapy, had to rebuild, put my trust in God. Unless you are ready to deal with fear and frustration, you won’t break the cycle. You must deal with pain to move on. You can’t change what you can’t accomplish. RESET steps are all in the small details.
MN: What are your tips to self-acceptance?
DDS: I am still on a journey however, I’ve pressed RESET for seven years and here is what I’ve learned:
Self: Don’t give up your life and priorities because it makes others uncomfortable
Finance: Live below your means and become a baller-on-a budget
Career: Do what you must, so you can do what you want to do
Deya “Direct” Smith’s Reset: Be in touch with yourself. Only then can you make choices to master your personal needs and renew mind, body and soul.
Karen Taylor Bass is a best-selling author, PR Expert and understands that life only gets better when you press RESET. Follow her @thebrandnewmom