Relationship Debate: ‘He Seemed So Interested, But He Never Called!’

March 3, 2011  |  

Dear China,
I met this guy at a house party. He came up to me and started a conversation. At first I wasn’t really interested, but it turned out he was a pretty cool dude. At the end of the party, he asked for my number, but I instead got his number. A couple of days later I called him and we talked briefly. I left the ball in his court to call me, but he never did. What’s up with that?

Sincerely,
WTF!

Dear WTF!
Hahaha. O.K. Well, this is a cute one. And the answer here is pretty easy: many men like to chase, and that’s pretty much the gist of it.

He asked you for your number, and your number would have been his male badge of honor. But, instead of giving it to him, you denied his badge and you took his number. (Now–that’s not a bad thing, now! I’m just explaining some of these males out here). Anyway, next, you called him, which would be pretty cool and normal, but then he never called you back, because he just didn’t feel like resuming control of the situation again.

For him, round one of the game…the chase…ended. Now, he might call you again in the future–who knows? The question becomes whether you would even want to take his call when the ball is so-called “back in your court!” I mean, just like his ego was bruised when you decided to take his number instead of giving him yours, your ego TOO is bruised because you called him and he’s not calling you back!

This is just a game of egos!!!

If either of you were truly, deeply interested: trust me, you two would have experienced your fifth date by now. Honest, true, love is more straightforward than “gamey” and to be honest, the guy always chases if he feels he’s ready for whatever you may want: a close friendship, an intimate relationship, or what have you. If he’s not barking, then don’t bite. If he’s not buying, then don’t sell. Go with your first instinct: “you weren’t really interested,” ma cherie!

C’est tout! Bisous xoxo
~ Madame C.

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