Relationship Debate: ‘He Seemed So Interested, But He Never Called!’

9 comments
March 3, 2011 ‐ By China Okasi


Dear China,
I met this guy at a house party. He came up to me and started a conversation. At first I wasn’t really interested, but it turned out he was a pretty cool dude. At the end of the party, he asked for my number, but I instead got his number. A couple of days later I called him and we talked briefly. I left the ball in his court to call me, but he never did. What’s up with that?

Sincerely,
WTF!

Dear WTF!
Hahaha. O.K. Well, this is a cute one. And the answer here is pretty easy: many men like to chase, and that’s pretty much the gist of it.

He asked you for your number, and your number would have been his male badge of honor. But, instead of giving it to him, you denied his badge and you took his number. (Now–that’s not a bad thing, now! I’m just explaining some of these males out here). Anyway, next, you called him, which would be pretty cool and normal, but then he never called you back, because he just didn’t feel like resuming control of the situation again.

For him, round one of the game…the chase…ended. Now, he might call you again in the future–who knows? The question becomes whether you would even want to take his call when the ball is so-called “back in your court!” I mean, just like his ego was bruised when you decided to take his number instead of giving him yours, your ego TOO is bruised because you called him and he’s not calling you back!

This is just a game of egos!!!

If either of you were truly, deeply interested: trust me, you two would have experienced your fifth date by now. Honest, true, love is more straightforward than “gamey” and to be honest, the guy always chases if he feels he’s ready for whatever you may want: a close friendship, an intimate relationship, or what have you. If he’s not barking, then don’t bite. If he’s not buying, then don’t sell. Go with your first instinct: “you weren’t really interested,” ma cherie!

C’est tout! Bisous xoxo
~ Madame C.

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  • http://twitter.com/starlettjo StarJo

    huh, never thought of it this way. his ego was bruised… poor thing. okay, I guess I can still get it. but why did she ask for HIS number anyway? isn't it easier to leave all the hard work for him? I am always nervous if I am going to call somebody I care about, I'd prefer to not be doing the call but to receive one. although waiting can be excruciating as well….

  • Rastaman

    The key may be her noting the the phone conversation was brief. I have had some experience along that line where some women will call you and then play that timer game. Where just as you are getting into the conversation they cut you off in some misguided attempt to tease. But this man may have figured I spent all night speaking with you when we met and you can only call me for a brief conversation.

    She may need to look at if her approach is bordering on some game playing because the truth is there are many people who are just not interested in jumping through hoops.

  • J P

    @LADYT
    This dumm women obviously caught some fade with that BS of “No u can get my number but ill get you your number.” HELLO DUMMY !!!!!!!!!! when you call me im goign to have your number any way LOL LOL so why cant we exchange the number now ????? Bottom Line women play too many games and start crying when they get burnt with the same fire.

    JP

    • Amazed

      Yep! True. Women are just like the USA. Playing games on other countries, but can't handle it when they're being played.

  • Maya

    @ chaka 1: True that! LOL!

  • chaka1

    He probably met someone else he's more interested in DUH…

  • Kristina N

    I totally agree with the article and the responses. Just from past experiences, I've learned to let the guy court you and if it is meant to be then it will happen but it definately will not happen if the woman takes charge first. If a guy really wants to get to know you he will make it known and will make it a point to see you as soon as possible. If a woman takes charge first and does more work than the guy, she really comes off desperate…TRUST me, I know.

  • Stephanie

    I like this response by Dave ^^ and I totally agree

  • Dave

    Come on. Be fair. If you asked an indifferent acting guy for his number and he didn't call until a couple of days later would you seriously be running to call him back?

    Seriously this story seems half baked and the way the letter reads is so not flattering. I don't know any man who would have called her. Was he supposed to be honored that she decided to call him for a "brief conversation?"
    Maybe its because the indifference she showed upon first meeting him was obvious and he figured she was going to be a waste of his time. After all, she did call him after "a couple of days." Many of us have been taught that a woman knows if she is interested almost immediately. Your call may not have been the consolation prize you thought it was.