Why Phaedra Shouldn’t Ride For Apollo Anymore

61 comments
July 21, 2014 ‐ By Kendra Koger
Apollo Nida Speaks Out After Guilty Plea

Source: Instagram

 

I’m very hesitant to speak on other people’s marital problems.  Marriage is very easy to discuss when you’re not married.  Everyone seems to have the answers and easy solutions to what married people need to do, but when you’re in a marriage, the lines are muddied by the waters of love, expectation, family and the such.  But with all of that said… really Apollo?!

Last week we posted an article addressing how his life has been since his sentencing.  As most people hypothesized, he addressed that his marriage to Phaedra might indeed be on the outs.

“I doubt [that my marriage will survive this],” the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” said during a recent interview with B100 Radio. “My wife didn’t even f—ing show up for my sentencing. I’m still kind of salty about that.”

Okay, now I was already feeling a level of disgust when he did that pathetic photo with the caption:  “Who will ride with me?”  But this is just too much for my sense of reality.  Are you kidding me, dude?!

Now let’s be real, there’s always a level of deception in relationships, especially when you’re first dating.  Chris Rock expressed this in his Bigger and Blacker stand-up comedy special.  He explained that when you’re first meeting someone, you’re meeting their representatives.  That’s true.  Everyone’s on their best behavior, and it extends when the relationship begins to become serious.  Men will adamantly tell you how they will always love you, protect you, be romantic, and offer you a never wavering shoulder of support.  Women will do the same thing.  They’ll cook for you, clean up after you, and will sing (or if you’re like me and don’t have great singing abilities, but have mastered the art of “talk-singing”) Kelly Rowland’s verse on “Cater 2 U,” expressing their desire of always being appealing to you, domestically, physically, and emotionally.

It’s not until you begin to get really comfortable, that you begin to let the façade fall and your true colors show.  Especially if you introduce children into the mix (“You want me to cater to you?  Change this child’s diaper, do that and then we’ll talk.”)  Within a relationship you learn to either be a better version of yourself, due to wanting to keep the person in your life, or you just embrace your faults and hope the other person will accept them as well.

However, there’s something to say about men who want full acceptance of their flaws and expect their partner to mindlessly go along with the foolishness.  Now, I’m not talking about all men, just the constant victim, the I want  a ride or die chick, but will quickly drop a woman if she does the same thing that I do type of dudes.

I’ve seen men who have abused their wives and girlfriends only to get mad at her when she finally leaves, but blast her on Facebook to get back at her.  Get back at her for what?!  You were the one doing the dirt!

Which leads me back to the Apollo, who’s-gonna-ride-for-my-crap situation.  Now, I’m not going to ever pretend like I knew what their marriage was like.   But I do know that it probably wasn’t easy on Phaedra to have to constantly defend the character of her husband when he was released from prison the first time.  When other people took any opportunity to bash him (and we have the entire third season or “Real Housewives of Atlanta” as proof of that), she defended him because she loved him.  She was riding with you then.  After “text-gate” with those inappropriate texts with Kenya Moore, she still rode for you.  When you played her oh-so bogusly on episodes of last season’s RHOA and she stood there quietly, knowing that her silence would be broadcast to millions, she rode for you.  Granted, we didn’t see her fall out, which I’m pretty sure happened when the cameras were gone, but she took a slide so you could look like a man.  She rode with you.

But let me ask you something, when were you riding for her?  Were you riding for her when you and your “right hand b—h” were defrauding innocent people?  Were you riding for her when you so callously put your foot down in an attempt to prove that you’re a man, while also stomping her reputation?

It just bothers me when I see these men who demand women to be by their side, constantly, even in the face of not just their wrong doing, but sometimes in the face of infidelity. (And if I hear another man say:  “But that’s just what men do, women can’t do what men do,” I’m going to vomit… all over your faces.)  But the crazy thing about it is, if the shoe was on the other foot, would men stay?  If a woman cheated on her husband or boyfriend, how many men would unabashedly leave, citing crap about their pride?  But you expect women to just be empty shells of thoughtless obedience?

Men, respect needs to come from both ends.  You can’t behave dirty and not expect to deal with some uncomfortable consequences.  It’s like blaming a mirror for not liking your reflection.  The mirror didn’t make you look this way, it’s only showing you how you look.  Don’t question the mirror’s loyalty to you for not reflecting what you wanted to see.

You want people to ride for you, then ride for them as well.  If not, catch a bus or something.

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  • chelsea

    take him in don’t out of the car last thing he smells you and his beautiful children ” in like a lady out like lady you are ” hold on to you and yours” ;bravo ” pun intended

  • LV

    marriage between a convict and a lawyer doesn’t make sense anyway. it shud have ended before the kids were born.

  • BLU

    She knew what she had and thought her lifestyle would effect his, too bad it didn’t work. She was his ride or die and he made it hard for her their whole tv marriage at lease. Phaedra should have let Kendra have him and found her a real brother, seems he needed her to dress up his image so people would be blinded by their image while he ripped them off. He disrespected her more than once, and her reputation as a lawyer, business owner, and TV celeb doesn’t need this. Sometimes we sleep with the enemy and don’t get it until it’s too late. The children may have played a role in her staying as long as she did, we can tell she loved him, She was making excuses for him from day one. Some Goodman is going to find himself a catch if they can take her with two children. She always acted with class in every situation.

  • Kim Allen

    APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE!!!!!

  • Ann

    I would not stand by him either..You can’t keep being a thief and then yell for help, plus he was very disrespectful to phaedra as hard as my girl work, and she kept silent way too long.. say good-bye apollo.

  • Linda M McCuff

    It was done with that Kenya deal, he publicly displayed the hots for her. Now he wants her to stand by him. The article was dead on and I really enjoyed your insight on the matter.

  • CC

    does anyone know wedding vows.

  • MsLadyE

    If Phaedra were the one getting ready to do time, Apollo would not “ride for her”. So why is he expecting her to stand by him now? He shouldn’t expect instant respect from Phaedra just because she’s his wife. He’s disrespected her too many times, and assumed that she would just stand by and let him. Phaedra didn’t show up at Apollo’s sentencing because she reached her limit and said “Enough is enough”.

  • delilia norville

    I am so sick of Apollo whining. What did he expect Phaedra to do? He brought everything upon himself. Phaedra should not support him in any way, she should never have anything else to do with him, period. I am pretty sure she is sorry she had two kids with that fool but what’s done is done. She can only try to keep his existence alive for her little ones in hopes that they will not forget dumba–. He got everything he deserved.

  • lady

    she married him for better or for worse. she needs to stay with her husband and he will be out in eight years and plus if the boys had their choice they will pick their dad. she just don’t want to pay back that money he owes. everyone so quick to divorce since it is that easy lets not get married and just have babies out or wedlock and sleep with whomever and , whatever.raise your boys so they can grow up to respect women. regardless of him being in jail the mother needs to set an example and do the right thing .kids are your biggest investment.

  • leolady2273

    Apollo Nida is an IDIOT…..Phaedra (I assume) is a smart woman. Tell him to call up that MUTT Kenya she will ride with him like she did in Anguila. Phaedra is a mother and has to think about raising her kids as a single mother. In the state of Georgia you can get a divorce from your spouse when they are sentenced to more than two years. She was kicking it in Mexico with her friend-girls and getting a quicky divorce in the process. Kenya can ride with his sorry A$$ like a dog with its head out a car window. Phaedra not being at his sentencing hearing shows that she chooses to ride with “Mr. President” and the “Prince”. Who’s going to ride with him…..the other prisoners on the transport bus going to the big house.

  • Keek the Geek

    No one but the two married to each other know the full truth, which is tainted by their own perspective. BUT she knew full well what type of dude she was married and she made a vow to THAT man, so now that things get tough she’s not gonna ride for her HUSBAND? Trust, he probably rode for her, too. There are always things that only a couple is privy to. Never speak on a situation unless you have all the facts. I’m wishing them the best. Whether they make it together or alone. Speak life and blessings not negativity.

  • lockstress

    And I hope Phaedra does not comment or give the masses anymore to talk about. Her ignant arse hubby is doing a fine job!
    Boy…shut the hell up and go where you belong so you can THINK about your actions.

  • she

    She needs to ride, she knew what she was getting into when she married him. Now what he needs to do is send his change that he makes in prison which adds up to nothing and pay
    child support.

    • Keek the Geek

      Right! And, whatever he did most probably was influenced or directly benefited her, so now you want to distance yourself from it because it came to the light?

  • faye

    Apollo never treated his wife with much respect.when the cameras were rolling – I can just imagine what he was like in private.

    • aswillia25

      So very true and sad. Disrespectful, dumb, karma receiving Apollo needs to STFU and look to Kenya, whom he was soooooo infactuated with and disrespected his wife for, then got played by just to “confess” his lies (I actually think they messed around but both are at least smart enough to never admit it…he was entirely too cocky and she was too embarassed to look at him.)…oh and we all know that the strippers he spent approximately 8k (weekly/monthly…whateva he had the audacity to brag about) on are going to “ride with” him….NOT! Bye Boy Bye!

  • dianemou604

    Apollo was a guy who basically had it made! He came out of prison and landed into a life of fame and luxury through his wife. Then, what did he do? He resumed a life of crime and that of a sleaze bag that not only tarnished his reputation but also his wife’s reputation…. And now, he actually has the nerve to bad mouth her?

  • lydiaferguson

    what a looser ,grow up what kind of message are you sending your kid’s,and now that is clear!!

  • Tried to drag me down

    Take it from someone who has lived it….pha pha walk away

  • alexa

    Oh pulease! Things were so bad between these two that they attended Kandi Buress’ wedding together in April. They’re such phonies! She’s just as guilty as he is.

  • Doris J. Gibson

    I wasn’t watching the series much, but don’t understand why he had to break the law,again. They were living a pretty good life.

    • Lambyboo

      You would think but its like what Phaedra said “Apollo does what he wants to do and she does what she needs to do”

  • Lambyboo

    Ask Apollo this, if Phaedra caught a 8 year charge (God forbid)….would he be faithful the entire time, take care of the kids and ride for her? Give him the lie detector test on that one. IF he passes then “ride” for him and if not divorce cause in Georgia I heard they can grant these very easily if your spouse is gonna be locked up for more then 2 years.

    • Chas

      If he was faithful at all in their marriage I’d be genuinely shocked LOL

      • Lambyboo

        Bet he woulda slept with Kenya had the cameras not been rolling.

  • Reader22

    I love the writer of this article!!

    • mmmdot

      Me too! She always writes insightful articles.

  • Jahadi99

    Pha Pha knew what she was getting into when she married him. What’s that old saying “when you lay with dogs you get fleas”??

    • Aissatou Sunjata

      Jahadi99, you are so right! She had a tendency to fake a higher level of standing than necessary or true. For instance, the made up celebrations when her children were born. Ultimately, from this one, she is going to need more than a flea collar. She did this to herself; ;he trashed his life and her life maybe almost trashed, at least the lawyer part. Who is going to trust an attorney who can’t seem to handle her personal iife better????

      • Jahadi99

        Aissatou, I are with you on that.

      • petalpink

        Yes, y’all! And remember when, I think it was the 2nd child’s celebration where Apollo wouldn’t even dance with Phedra? He was very rude to her when she asked and I knew then he didn’t care about Phedra or his sons. I was embarrassed for Phedra as she then went to the party planner, Dwight Eubanks for a dance partner.

        • Jane

          Though apollo is scum, I think he really just wanted to be respected by pha… i think he wanted his fun wife back. He complained through out the season how disconnected they were and she almost made fun of it. Granted, we didn’t get to see alot, but even ray charles could see she treated him like a child. I think apollo wanted a quiet life aside from stealing money, i don’t think he liked the flashy parties. the feds were watchingi presume

          • BU

            Are you stupid, blind or just sick in the head!?!? This right here and this kind of thinking is WHY WOMEN STAY GETTING DRAGGED!!! You really type that mess about this dude Apollo!?!? Unbelievable… Girl bye and stay there when you get there, Apollo will need someone like you when he gets out.

    • 1Val

      A more apropos saying “show me who you sleep with and that will tell me who you are.”

  • mmmdot

    Yes! I love this entire article. Especially the part about cheating. If you wouldn’t accept infedility from me, then I *DAMN* sure won’t be accepting it from you.

    • Lambyboo

      My hubby and I made that pact before we got married.

  • Darlene

    She married him for looks; he married her to get on TV: It was doomed from the start.

    • Chas

      I think she slept with him for looks and got married cuz she was pregnant lol He saw dollar signs from the beginning.

      • hmmm

        Fakedra has always been a fool….

        • Chas

          well everyone gets fooled by something at least once lol But i think she mentally pulled out of her marriage a while ago

  • KWilliams

    I really cannot say anything about this one because if anyone believes that an attorney who will collect money from a dope dealer in a parking lot on their reality show did not know what her own husband was into to get money, well I guess you can be on her side. Hopefully she can shake off the past and raise her kids. We all reap what we sow so hopefully she had no part in this.

    • Chas

      It seemed like there was some distance between them for a while. I believe she may have been suspicious but i doubt she had any part. Shes the kind of woman who wants to show off her accomplishments so doing something sneaky wouldn’t benefit her.

      • iman campbell7

        Agreed

    • jules

      exactly my thoughts, she knew all about it.

  • Grace Paech

    There is nothing more pathetic than a grown man acting like a petulant little boy. I am amazed that any one would want to marry this man. Ride with him where? to prison?, to poverty? to a list of his under-cover girls? Please! Take a pill and grow up!!

    • griffo

      I so agree with you Grace Paech,

  • ja

    Preach
    Kendra agreed 100%

  • MatureBlackWoman

    Excellent analysis. Phaedra is still showing far more class by not responding in public to his latest humiliating foolishness. However, her absence, both from the media and from his sentencing, speaks volumes. Someone has to think of her children, and she has made the better choice. Whether they get divorced or not is their business, however, laying low and staying quiet always makes you look more sensible. He never saw any need to improve his image because he always got by on looks.

    • leolady2273

      Truthfully, his looks aren’t all that great.

      • MatureBlackWoman

        I happen to agree with you.

      • iman campbell7

        I absolutely agree Apollo is just sort-of-meh-looking imo. When I actually looked at him and realized how short how he was with that high-pitched voice I got over it real fast. It’s like NeNe said when they were all in Anguilla Season 5 ” “Apollo, you teeny-weeny. You little Apollo you to small”. Aint nobody got time for him and his small man syndrome SMH

  • slimpickens2916

    Ms. Koger, you nailed this article. Spot on and thank you for sharing your incite .

    • Kendra Koger

      You are so awesome! Thank you!!

    • HouseGuest

      It should be “insight,” as in enlightened and informed opinion, NOT “incite” as in to start a riot.

  • FoundLove

    Pha doesnt need him anyway! If she leaves its for the better. Leave that dirty baggage that was holding you down!

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  • Chas

    I feel like this marriage was over a long time ago so this is just the icing of the cake.

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