The Good in Goodbye: Why You Need To Eliminate People Or Things Stopping Your Progress

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July 22, 2014 ‐ By Erica Renee
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I’d like to think that I have a healthy habit of not getting too attached to people or things. While listening to a T.D. Jakes sermon the other day, I chuckled when he said that parting isn’t such sweet sorrow for some men: “He has no problem saying goodbye. He can forget you and forget that your mother ever had you.” Although his words may sound harsh, this way of thinking can save us several unnecessary heartbreaks, stop us from staying in unfulfilling jobs and prevent us from entertaining meaningless friendships any further. I strongly believe there is power in saying goodbye, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.

Close family, friends who are like sisters and business ventures that I have personally birthed are the exceptions to saying goodbye. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attached to my parents and other loved ones. I cherish relationships with my sister-friends and often look to them in my lowest moments. But anything and anyone else is one step from being cut off if need be.

Dating occurrences have proven to be the biggest ‘good in goodbye’ lessons that I have learned. Many times we get attached to who we thought a person was as opposed to who they really are, preventing us from moving on. I will be the first to admit that at one time I was one of these women, and my naivete often came back to bite me in the butt. If I had let go after a man revealed who he really was, I wouldn’t have been in bad predicaments months later. It’s really as simple as the late Dr. Maya Angelou said: “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”

My life is much too busy to investigate someone’s character despite what they have shown me. If my gut feeling tells me they are no good for me, I don’t waste my time. Who cares if we have had a few good dates or thought-provoking conversations?

If a job is no longer fulfilling, I have no problem re-evaluating it and stepping away if need be. It doesn’t matter if I have awesome co-workers or a phenomenal boss. If it no longer serves a positive purpose in my life, it’s time to say goodbye.

We’ve all heard that people or things are put in our lives for a reason and a season, but most of us don’t fully embrace this concept. Basically, if the relationship was good in the summer but it’s putting you in a state of depression in the winter, that person’s season has come to an end in your life; let them go or stand the chance of hindering your growth and blocking blessings. If your job is causing you more stress than satisfaction and you are in a position to leave, then you should. Who cares if you have spent a decade there?

I admit that it’s not easy. Besides feeling some level of loyalty to a person or place, we also get comfortable and we are fearful of what’s on the other side of goodbye.

No matter how good a person was or a situation has been to you, it’s always important to evaluate how this person or thing is affecting you in the present. Saying goodbye and eliminating things or people out of your life is not only good for growth, it’s necessary. Now, let the elimination process begin ladies!

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