I Love To Spend Money. So Why Do I Hate Myself When I Do?

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July 13, 2014 ‐ By Madame Noire
buyer's remorse

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By Scott and Bethany Palmer, The Money Couple, For Your Tango

You have the money, but you still don’t feel like you deserve what you buy.

If you love to spend money, but hate yourself when you do, you are not crazy. Many of us love to shop, buy gifts or conquer a great sale. But afterwards we feel that gnawing in our stomach. That doubt. That guilt.

We often get questions from readers about this feeling. For instance, Brooke, a participant at one of our events, told us this story:

“I really love my job, finally. After reading a million articles about people who couldn’t believe they get paid to do what they love. I am finally one of them! With too many false starts to count, I found a fit in advertising. Apparently my hair-brained ideas and constant doodling are valuable when focused and refined. The pace is insane and the workload massive, but I finally make great money to do what I love.

So why do I feel horrible when I buy things? Almost everything I buy makes me feel guilty later. Whether it’s an iPad I need for work or a skirt on sale — I feel guilty. Initially, I love looking at the options, trying stuff on, deciding which one is best, making the purchase and then, like heartburn from a bad burrito, I feel it. A fiery knot of self-judgment and doubt forms in my stomach. I start thinking, “Why did I buy this? Was it really a great deal? My credit card balance is killing me. I could live without this. Can I take it back?”

I feel trapped in an exhausting cycle. And it takes all joy out of my success and ability to purchase things I like and need. How do I stop feeling like this?”

Constantly plagued with the guilt of buyer’s remorse even while living within your budget? Visit Your Tango where The Money Couple gives some helpful tips on learning your money style and having a healthy relationship with personal finances.

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