What do black men find sexy about themselves?
Yeah I know, it sounds like a simple question. But more often than not, discussions around men and sex appeal usually are framed from the perspective of what men find attractive and sexually appealing about women or even other men. Rarely, if ever, do we turn the tables on the fellas and probe around their senses of self and ask the pertinent question: What makes you so attractive? As a result of rarely asking, men are often the recipient of sexiness while women become the sole traders in cultural sex appeal.
Personally, I don’t think that’s fair.
Outside of the obvious gendered imbalance reasons (I mean, women too find men se*y and we want them to appeal to us as well), I also don’t think it is fair to men – nor is it healthy for society – to have their perceptions of themselves ignored. I feel that this is especially true of black men, whose own sexuality and masculinity is often well-guarded, narrowly-defined, and in many respects, shaped in response to the dominate patriarchal society, which favors white men over black men.
So in the interest of exploration, I decided to take that simple yet rarely asked question (and a few more) to a few brothers in my network. Ten of them, ranging in age and hailing from a variety of places, decided to indulge in my shenanigans. And they each provided some very insightful and diverse reasons why they are se*y and they know it!