Q: Dear China,
My man and I have been together for a year now, and I understand that relationships must be kept fresh at all times. I switch up our sex life, and I’m always looking as good as possible. But come on, and keep it real with me, once and for all: is it ever ok to burp, fart, or use the restroom in front of my boyfriend? I’m SO super tired of having to be 100% perfect all the time!
Sincerely,
Sassy Gassy
A: Dear Sassy Gassy,
I’m happy to hear that your relationship is so great that it gets you gassed up, so to speak. I’m even happier that you beat me to the punch about making sure a relationship stays fresh, er, so to speak–again. But, your relationship is about your happiness, not mine.
To be happy, you need to feel comfortable enough in front of your boyfriend. Comfort for some people may mean being able to walk around naked in front their man, and for others it may mean several degrees higher of hot, smelly air. You decide your comfort level, but it might help to know that men are visual creatures. They like to see girls as dainty cherubs who do not emit gasses from their mouths or elsewhere. If you want to heighten–and maintain–your man’s fantasy of your womanhood to the fullest extent that he can, one of the easiest ways to do so is to a) not burp like a pig in front of him or anyone for that matter, b) not fart around the place and c) not use the bathroom, a.k.a. take a dump while he’s in there with you. It would be totally taking your relationship for granted.
Don’t just avoid these actions with your man…avoid them with as many people as you can. If your sister, for example, doesn’t mind, then that’s cool. But she’s not sleeping with you!
