Why Are Some Men Intimidated By Successful Women?
Being successful is something everyone aspires to do. People spend countless days, nights, minutes and hours working to achieve set goals in order to live a particular lifestyle and prepare for the future. When a man is deemed a success, or has reached certain milestones in his life, he is celebrated by his family, friends and his companion, no matter how big or small the achievement. However, when a woman is considered successful, she is celebrated as well by family and friends, and maybe by her mate. Why is that? Why is it that when a woman is at the top of her game, or she is considered a major movie and shaker, the man in her life seems happy for her, but deep down, is secretly intimated or bothered by her success? The answer is simple… a man’s fragile ego often interferes with him being supportive of a woman who may be just as successful, or more successful than he is.
Now don’t get me wrong, not all men are threatened by a woman who has it together career wise, but the truth of the matter is that there are a lot of men who feel incompetent in being the mate of a power playing woman. Society believes that men should make more money, have better jobs or careers and simply be much better at everything than women. Not only does society believe this, but it has been embedded in the minds of men, and when they come across a woman who is at the head of her career class, he doesn’t quite know how to handle her. And despite the many powerful women there are in the world, many do not view women as dominating figures. While by design, males were created to be the heads of households, breadwinners and leaders by nature, and women were created to take on the helpful and supportive role, that does not mean that women cannot and should not be prosperous in what they seek out to do, nor does it mean that men should be unsupportive…even if she is more successful than him.
In the beginning of new relationships, many women are afraid to tell their love interest or potential mate just how successful they are in their careers for fear of a lack of support or rejection. And many times, women have the tendency to downplay their intelligence, or change their personalities because they don’t want a man they are interested in to lose interest in who they believe they are. Not only is this sad, but it is insane for a woman to feel that she must do this in order to keep someone’s attention. So ladies, how do we handle a man who can’t handle a powerful woman?
First, be mindful of his financial or career situation. We all know a man’s ego can be delicate, and depending on his circumstances, we don’t want to bruise his ego any further by telling him how good things are going for us. This is not to say that you shouldn’t inform your man or potential mate of what’s going on in your life, but it is to say that you should be sensitive to where he is in his life. Also, let him learn more about who you are vs. hearing more about what you do. There are a number of women who spend more time bragging about their careers, degrees, and other accolades to make themselves seem larger than life. Allow a man to see and hear about the person you are…after all, he’s interested in learning about you, not your accomplishments.
When he finds out just how successful you are, remain humble about it. No matter what you do, never throw it in your man’s face…or anyone else’s for that matter. Last but definitely not least, if your love interest can’t handle who you are and what you bring to the table, bow out gracefully and wait patiently for the next man to come along. At the end of the day, there is no need to waist time on someone who would want to diminish your shine.Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.