Why Women Stay With The Wrong Men

April 8, 2014  |  
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There are way too many women out there who spend way too much time trying to figure out whether or not they should continue to date a man who’s no good for thing. Sadly, even though the answer is sometimes an obvious no, a lot of women will stay in the relationship and hang in there, even if there’s no real reason to do so. Here are 14 reasons women stay with the wrong men.

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To avoid being alone

Once you’re in a relationship and gotten used to all of its perks and benefits, it can be pretty hard to let those go and to be completely content with being single. A lot of women stay with the wrong men because they don’t want to be alone. Being alone is tough and, well, for most people, it’s lonely.

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Hope that things will change

People change. Relationships change. And for some women, the possibility of change is enough to keep them with the wrong men. Staying in a bad relationship with the hope that things will change and get better is pretty common, but where most women go wrong is not setting boundaries or time limits for when this change has to occur, which means they stay in a bad relationship for way too long.

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His feelings

Women are sensitive, for the most part. For a lot of women, it’s hard to think about breaking someone’s heart. Maybe this man really likes you and cares about you but deep down you know that he just isn’t the man that you should be with. But, the idea of hurting someone is sometimes too much for some women.

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Her feelings

Some women will stay with the wrong men just because they love them and don’t want to experience the sadness of a breakup, not realizing they’re doing more harm than good in the long run.

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Insecurities

We all have insecurities about something, and a lot of women find security in relationships and the man they’re dating. Whether it’s a lack of self-confidence or the idea that you’re nothing without a relationship, insecurities can keep you tied to the wrong man.

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Willingness to settle

No woman should ever settle, but sadly, a lot of us do. We settle to not be alone or we settle because we’re okay with Mr. Right Now. If a woman is willing to settle with a man on things she considers non-negotiables she’s shooting herself in the foot.

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He keeps coming back

So maybe you’ve broken up with him before but you two didn’t stay apart for long. He texted and called you, and you two eventually reconnected and decided to give things a go again. But, if you’ve broken up with a man, and you’re considering doing so again, doesn’t it show that you really aren’t looking to be with him? Just because he wants you back doesn’t mean you should take him.

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The physical connection is strong

Being physically attracted to the man you’re dating is definitely a good thing. But, relationships can’t last solely on physical attraction. If this man doesn’t connect with you emotionally or if his personality just isn’t up to par, there’s no reason to stay with him. Don’t fall into the trap of staying with the wrong man because physically things are perfect, even though everything else is lacking.

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Good is good enough

Dating and relationships are all about taking chances with men and hopefully finding that one man that makes your heart flutter. But, some women stay with the wrong men with the idea that this relationship is as good as it gets. Even though it’s void of all passion and excitement, you’ve put so much time and effort into it that it’s not worth the risk of not finding someone new who is better.

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Financial binds

It’s not uncommon for couples to have intertwined finances and a lot of women stay with the wrong men because they are financially tied to him, be it a shared lease on an apartment or a mortgage.

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Obliviousness to how bad things are

Love can be pretty blinding. It can be hard to take off the rose-colored glasses and see things for what they really are. Some women stay with the wrong men simply because they don’t realize just how bad things are. This is where outside opinions and advice really become handy.

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The sex is good

While this may sound like something that a man would do, there are plenty of women out there who are guilty of staying with the wrong man just because the sex is good. Though it can be hard to find a man who you click with completely when it comes to time between the sheets, no relationship can survive off of just sex. One dimensional relationships never fair well.

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The biological clock

In your mind, you are running out of time. You’re at that age where you want to start having children and you feel more pressure than ever before to settle down with a man and to take things from there. Though your biological clock does continue to tick, there really isn’t a high sense of urgency. Yes you’re getting older, but you’re also getting wiser and better.

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To prove other people wrong

Maybe your best friend said that your relationship wasn’t going to work, or maybe your coworkers have an office bet going about how long your relationship is going to last. Whatever the case may be, it’s not uncommon for a woman to stay with the wrong man simply to prove someone else wrong.

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  • soisaid

    why not write an article on why men stay with the wrong woman. i know men who takes care of women who don’t work. always start senseless arguements. cheat on them. mentally and physically abuse them. these men are not ugly, unemployed or stupid.. they just think the person they fell in love with will show up one day and they will be happy again. i think thats how most women in bad relationships think also. ijs

  • lmic

    What about for the kids sake?? Thats common

  • Kiki

    I’m starting to believe men have higher standards than most women. They don’t tolerate half the ish women allow men to put them through. A man cheats, and some women will forgive him. A woman cheats? He’ll be off faster than you can blink.

    • lady_mystikal

      Aint that the truth

    • Live_in_LDN

      Exactly. It’s early indoctrination and social programming. Young girls are told to aspire to find their Prince Charming from the start so it’s programmed that finding true love is the ultimate goal and the ‘Happily Ever After’ myth is ingrained. When many women find a man, he might be garbage but they hold onto him for dear life with the hopes he’ll change (never going to happen) because they are taught they are incomplete without a man. Men and young boys are not taught the same thing. Cartoons and toys aimed at young boys do not talk about ‘finding your Princess charming’, the same way it does with girls.

      • Kiki

        Thats so true!

    • thatguy0101

      I hate to say but youre right, most quality men do. Let a female cheat on me…. I’m casper the ghost, gone! Let my girl be one of those loud mouth, aggressive broads from Real House Wives of Atlanta… Im out, on to the next! Men do this because of various reasons; men know in many cities the female to male ratio is something like 15 to 1, probably higher with all the g*y men ish going on. Then you have the quality men with good jobs, no kids, attractive, charismatic, tall and confident, they can have there pick pretty much… women are the same way though..

      • Kiki

        I believe that. I’ve witnessed it first hand from my male friends and my dad is more than vocal on his opinion of classless women lol. Men/women of a certain calibre attract those alike. You will never find a classy man with a ratchet woman – period. He wont want to be seen speaking to her – let alone involved. She would lower his stock. Women are no different. When you know better, you do better.

    • kiki j

      I think it’s about who vs. standards. I’ve been told that When a man truly loves a woman, after she cheats he can’t get the visual out of his head and cant accept knowing there’s another man who knows what his woman is like s e xually. Men are ego driven. Women are nurtures. Jmo.

      • Kiki

        I hear that. But generally speaking, men have higher standards for good behaviour. Women are emotional so are more likely to forgive, forget, and make excuses for the man. Men are rational, they call it how they see it and do whats best for themselves.

        • kiki j

          I definitely believe they are rational thinkers.

  • ms stacye

    I agree with everyone. We all know why some women stay in bad relationships and even know a woman in said relationship. Didn’t need to read the article to get a better understanding but I read it because I’ve been there before and learned from that mistake. In the words of RuPaul: “if you can’t love yourself, how in the HELL you gone love somebody else?”

    • Travis Hickey

      Or if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

  • coolyfett

    Another topic about men lol……interesting

  • kiki j

    Ok MN I typically give you ladies a hard time when comes to your relationship advice but this was soooo accurate! Especially this, “…but where most women go wrong is not setting boundaries or time limits for when this change has to occur, which means they stay in a bad relationship for way too long.” I believe people do change (and I’ve seen it) but boundaries and time frames are necessary. I loved this article.

  • B.

    There are a lot of women suffering from low self esteem and are content to be in any kind of relationship, regardless if it’s good or bad. Only when you know your worth do you demand better.

  • Blackhawk

    Blah.. men know most women do not want a good man, they want a flawed man that they can try to turn into a good man. Men give women hell because that’s what they want.

  • thatguy0101

    Lol, because they dont know their worth and its better to stay with what you know, then to start off brand new in this f’ed up dating game. I rather be single when to be with the wrong partner.

    • Ms. Kameria

      Exactly, and also because women don’t want to be lonely. I didn’t have to click thru 15 slides to understand that. Hopefully, you didn’t have to either.

      • thatguy0101

        Yea but I didnt know how serious it was until I got alittle older.. As we speak, I know females that are staying with some COMPLETE LOSERS just to avoid being single…. its really sad.