How to Make the Most Out of Being Single

4 Comments
February 14, 2011 ‐ By L. Nicole Williams

Singleness is not a chronic illness nor does it equate to a miserable existence.

So much emphasis, especially for women, is placed on romantic relationships and finding the man of our dreams. From day one, we are given baby dolls and Barbies in preparation for our “destiny,” to become a wife and mother. Of course, there is nothing wrong with remaining open to love and keeping your eyes out for potential suitors, so long as singleness is not viewed simply as the hiatus (or waiting period) between adolescence and adulthood.

Every day, every minute, every second of our lives is precious and meant to be full of purpose. While single, there is so much opportunity to put time into charity and self-development. In order to be successful in a lifetime commitment, you have to be in the position to bring a whole you to the table.

Most of us need time to get to know ourselves before we can deal with the issues and baggage. As a single person without the distractions of a spouse and children, you can make those much needed daily appointments with you and the mirror. The time alone is your chance to mature from a girl into a woman. Confidence and sexiness come from knowing yourself, being comfortable in your strengths and weaknesses. When you can identify with who you are, the direction of your life becomes much clearer and it is easier to narrow down a focus. In understanding your wants and needs, sifting through men also takes on a no-nonsense policy.

The freedom gives you the ability to explore the world and culture on a whim, trekking through Western Europe, a nationwide tour of museums, whatever your heart (and bank account) desires. The responsibilities that come with marriage and family are wonderful but individually limiting. Be spontaneous and take in as much ethnic food, foreign culture and education as you can. Never played a sport? Take a tennis lesson or two. Love Japanese fashion? Take trip to Tokyo. Do you have an interest in fine art? Attend an auction. It doesn’t matter if you can’t buy anything. It’s about the experience. If you’ve lived a timid life, thrust yourself out of your shell.

Be sure to pay it forward and take your exuberance to the community. Pour into the lives of other young women and girls. As a single woman, you have the time to be a big sister or mentor. It is a window of opportunity to share your testimony.

Single ladies, the world is your oyster. Indulge before it’s too late.

Want to know more about LaShaun Williams? Check out her blog Politically Unapologetic, where she shares thoughts on pop culture, love and life. Follow her on Twitter @itsmelashaun.

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  • Allison C

    I love this article and want to give a high-five to the author and all the ladies that have commented thus far. I am a single 28-year old in NYC. I've been single for going on four-years and I never viewed it as a chronic illness or an indication that I am lacking something. I've used the time to learn who I am as a woman and fully understand the woman I want to become. I have built my life around giving back to others and constantly doing things to better myself. I've embraced my generation and its views on marriage and relationship. I'm grateful that I can be educated, smart and successful a 28 without being married or in a relationship, its an option I have, that my mother didn't have or most women before her.

  • imustsayit

    ….and I don’t really see it often.

  • Rachael, O.

    I guess this is one article that should inspire more women to consider their singlehood as something worthwhile. That they can in all sense make something out of it and when they get into marriage they can not regret by saying that they wasted their life when they were still solo. It also enables many women to take a good stand in there life and it should make people stop seeing singleness as a chronic illness.

  • L.B. Song

    I'm surprised no one has made a comment on this gem of an article. I love it! Finally a balanced article that doesn't portray single women as pathetic saps, but rather courageous women who are enjoying and getting the most out of this season of life. What's funny is that a lot of married or seriously committed women have advised me to enjoy the perks of flying solo…. i.e virtually unlimited time to self-improvement and getting to know oneself. Many if them look at us with jealousy, while we pout and complain that we don't have anyone to hold or to call our own.

    I also think it's a great idea to not fall into the single and self-centered trap. Invest in the lives of others and you'll be all the richer for it!