9 Things You Shouldn’t Say Or Do When Your Friend Gets Engaged

March 18, 2014 ‐ By

This past weekend a friend of mine from middle and high school got engaged. Even though we haven’t been close in years, I was still happy for her. And instead of just liking the picture of her new engagement ring on Instagram, I decided to leave a little congratulatory note for the both of them. (Her new fiancé happened to go to our high school too.) And after I left my comment, I was scrolling to see what other people said. I was shocked by a couple of the reactions. Mostly there were the congratulations that I expected but there were also some comments that gave me pause. I don’t think these women meant to be petty, and in some cases incredibly selfish, but that’s how their comments read to me. So, to help women like them out, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t do, say or type when your friend gets engaged.

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  • Anzaloqq

    I disagree with #3 only because it’s happened in my life. A friend of mine was dating a lady off and on for 2 or 3 years and when his construction business blew up she cleaned up her act for about 3 months and then started pushing for marriage. When they got engaged I played the good guy friend and just support but it didn’t smell right at all. They got married in summer of 2008.
    In less than 4 years she wanted a divorce (claiming his lack of interest in her) plus alimony of course. My friend knows I’m extremely cautious about these things and he asked what I thought but I’ve always played dumb about it since I never said anything in the beginning.

    People if you want to play it safe with your loved ones keep your comments to yourself but if you truly love and care for the person try to serve up your concerns in a way that’s both gentle and direct. I wish I’d done this although I do practice it now and I think people respect me more for it.

  • Blu

    Even if u are the dumbest person alive….who does these things

  • ComeLetsTalk

    I agree with every single side except for one, the affordability factor. Well I do agree in principal but these days many brides have unrealistic expectations. They want endless pre wedding parties, out of town bachelorette parties, $400 brides maids dress, travel costs etc. The onus should be on the bride to make her expectations clear as what the bridesmaids full expenses can potentially be. Alot of times the bridemaid is lead to be believe its only XYZ but as planning goes along the bride starts adding things. So I suppose its on both the BM and the bride to be clear on expectations.

  • True Comments

    Slide 7 is extremely true