This past weekend a friend of mine from middle and high school got engaged. Even though we haven’t been close in years, I was still happy for her. And instead of just liking the picture of her new engagement ring on Instagram, I decided to leave a little congratulatory note for the both of them. (Her new fiancé happened to go to our high school too.) And after I left my comment, I was scrolling to see what other people said. I was shocked by a couple of the reactions. Mostly there were the congratulations that I expected but there were also some comments that gave me pause. I don’t think these women meant to be petty, and in some cases incredibly selfish, but that’s how their comments read to me. So, to help women like them out, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t do, say or type when your friend gets engaged.