Do Weaves Make You Feel More Attractive?

March 17, 2014 ‐ By Ezinne Ukoha

 

fight over hair weave

Source: Shutterstock

A few weeks ago, I was catching up with a friend, who had just returned from a trip and I noticed that her hair was different. As I tried to find her amid the sea of bodies in the packed restaurant, I took out my phone, ready to call and ask where she was seated, until I finally zeroed in on her. Viola! The reason I had a hard time pinpointing her was because her hair was different. When she left NYC she had long gorgeous braids and as I approached our table, I could see that she had traded that in for a weave.

As I embraced her, I joked about the fact that her hair was different and I asked her why her trip to LA had sparked the need for a weave, since her braids were relatively new and quite gorgeous. She laughed and explained that she wanted a change. She then proceeded to try to convince me that ever since she switched from braids to extensions, the amount of male attention she has been receiving has skyrocketed. I gave her a curious glance, and quickly surveyed her trumped up do. It looked contrived and frankly didn’t quite suit her. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that, so I smiled and told her I was happy that she was happy with her hair.

But the truth is that I was and still am confused. Her braids were glorious! She had gotten them done in Nigeria for almost nothing and yet they looked like a million bucks. Every time we met up, I always made a point to compliment them and she responded positively. But once the weave was secured, she was beyond enthusiastic. It was as if she had undergone a major makeover and her whole life was finally going to change. The man of her dreams just needs to see her with long straight hair paired with severe bangs.

This particular mindset makes me wonder how many of us rely on extensions to validate our beauty. I personally have indulged once in my life, and it was for a photo shoot for a hair magazine. I am definitely not saying that I will never get a weave again, but as long as I am able to maneuver my tresses in ways that work for me, I probably won’t utilize that route anytime soon. My point is that my friend clearly didn’t feel confident walking around with an ethnic style. Weaves have always been her mainstay. When I saw her with braids, I was elated. Mainly because she looked fabulous, and I was excited to see her step out of her comfort zone and try something new.  It’s obvious that she felt restricted and unattractive the whole time, and I am sure spending time in LA didn’t help matters. I think they choices we make based on twisted perceptions hurt us in the long run. She is so convinced that weaves are the best way to go, that she didn’t even try to give her new hairstyle a chance. If the kind of guys she attracts are the ones that are drawn to long fake hair, are they really worth her time?

Weaves are not the enemy; we are our own worst enemies. We use them as a shield to hide under, to help propel us to a level of status that we think we deserve. But in order to meet quality guys, we have to be comfortable with our most basic self. It’s time to relinquish the relevance we have given to our hair and embrace what really makes us who we are. I hope my friend will get to the point where she doesn’t need to rely on her weaves to make her feel worthy.

 

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  • Latoya

    Why does my comment need to be approved? This is ridiculous

  • Masterpieced

    Yep. I wonder if they would weave in another woman’s pubic hair to match the hair on the weaved head…

    • Guestest

      You are either a self hating black man or a non white troll.. You are having a fit about black women wearing weaves but you are on here comparing their hair to pubic hair? GTFOH!

      • Masterpieced

        Nope. I’m saying that the hair on one’s head usually matches pubic hair. So, weaved sisters should also weave in human hair down below.

        • Guestest

          Wtf? Doesn’t make a bit of sense especially since many women like it all shaved off down below. All races of women dye their hair to should they grow a bush and dye it below as well?

  • Masterpieced

    Yep. I wonder if they would weave in another woman’s pubic hair to match the hair on the weaved head…

  • swan

    The good book says women should not embroiderer their hair. It says Yah will cause your hair to fall out and not grow back. But, black women have lots of self hatred . They are getting off relaxers but still don’t have the confidence to wear their hair as Yah created it.Its very sad that our women hate themselves so much they would wear hair from corpses and hair offered up to idol gods just to look more like a white woman. It took me a long time to change my hair. But, once I did, men paid more attention to me and gave me a different kind of respect that I didn’t have before. I want my sisters to experience this for themselves. When you try to be white, you’ll always be second best. But, when you behave as yourself, you are 1st. Women put yourselves 1st!

  • kc

    Weaves, extensions what’s the difference neither grew out of your own head.

  • Sharon

    I personally believe that most Women, especially Black Women get a confidence boost when wearing fake/weaved hair. I work in the beauty industry and have seen the transition first hand. I have witnessed women come in almost like they don’t want to be seen and then as soon as they get the weave put in they automatically transform into a breathing DIVA of sort. Their identity changes almost instantly. It is quite embarrassing and almost shameful that these very so women who come into the shop with their head buried down instantly perk up and walk with confidence and swinging that fake hair with pride. Shouldn’t you have the same pep in your walk and style with your own hair?

    Hair is pride and it shows!

  • phillymiss

    Like I said, women should be able to wear their hair whatever way they like. However, what kind of message are black women sending to their children if they don’t think they are attractive without some Asian women’s hair glued to their heads?

    • donalda

      EXACTLY.

  • phillymiss

    Most weaves look ridiculous. In fact, I call them “weaverines” because they often look like the wearer has a dead wolverine on their heads. But to each their own, I guess.

    • Masterpieced

      ha aha. I am gonna use that line. Love it. Weaverines! ha ha

  • Queen Ugly Duckling

    @ silkynaps–so this argumement/opinion of yours….i suppose this applies to women suffering from debilitating medical conditions as well (ex: cancer). Hmmmmm…..

    • Masterpieced

      Then they cannot weave.

  • Rose

    Then go ask them, then! Go understand it. Stop wondering, and just go up to someone and ask. Have a poll. Start a survey. Make the effort to understand. You’ll be surprised with the many answers you get.

  • Queen Ugly Duckling

    ….also…it should have NOTHING to do with self-esteem. “The amount of male attention she has been receiving has skyrocketed..” Uhhhhhh…..really????? All on the strength of a weave? Gee that’s funny……hearing men talk…reading in mags when men take these poll questions…from what i’ve gathered from the male species….they not really motivated like that on the strength of a weave. Then again, didn’t the writer state she & the friend got together to meet up in L.A.??? I’ve heard L.A. is mad superficial like that…correct me if i’m wrong…

    • enlightenment

      Eh men contradict themselves a lot. They will say that they don’t care for weaves/wigs and they prefer natural hair…but look at who they’re salivating over? The chicks with the weaves/wigs! lol.

      • Masterpieced

        They look easier, like prostitutes.

  • Queen Ugly Duckling

    Can i say something? This year (2014) makes 2 years since i started delving into weaves, wig cap styles, etc. Can i tell y’all something? It has been the “best” thing for my natural hair. How you ask? With a weave or wig cap style…my hair is corn-rowed underneath. The weave (if a sew-in one) means I DON’T HAVE TO STYLE MY HAIR ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS! oNE less thing i concern myself with in the morning…when i’m on my grind getting ready to head o public transportation so i can ensure i arrive to work on time.
    No curling iron…no flat ironing…no brushing (although w/weave or wig cap, there are special brushes for the hair you can get from the beauty supply store), no combing, no wetting with holding spray, no gel, no “diamond drops” (unless you choose to use any of the typical styling aids)…NONE OF THAT! iF its done correctly and professionally, the hair can last you a month…maybe beyond. Due to my choosing this method, my hair now? “Rapunzel status (lol…well not 100% Rapunzel…but lengthier than what i am accustomed to…to the point, i don’t even want to do my hair…i wig cap/weave it up…lol).

    • Rose

      Wait, wait, wait. So…now that your weave helped your hair grow longer, do you style your own hair again, or are you waiting to get to a certain length?

      • Queen Ugly Duckling

        @ Rose–I style my hair when the mood suits me. Now that the warmer weather is upon us…i’m contemplating returning to a wig cap style (especially if i hit a pool or a beach this summer 2014). As i said, Rose…everyday styling? Everyday styling now that the weather is heating up? Unless you’re gonna rock a braid or twist style–pleaaaaaze! Who has time for that???

    • Masterpieced

      Maybe it is also easier to not brush your teeth. How many minutes a week you can save!

  • dunbar dunelm

    My hair started to fall out after my son died. From the crown. In a bid to hide the
    obvious thinning, I started wearing wigs. I watched loads of you-tube videos to get ideas as I wanted them to look as natural as possible and they do. They’ve been a lifesaver. I
    tried a weave for a change a few weeks ago but it felt awful and so restricted. I like the freedom of washing my own longish hair before plaiting it up nicely (under the wig). Everyone to their own eh? As long as you feel confident enough toface the world, it’s all good.

    • Masterpieced

      nah

  • DiscoChik

    Its not the weave, just the image that long flowing tresses are more attractive as has been dominated and dictated by society and other races who are more likely to have grown it from being born with it and the DISTRUBING/ALARMING fact that there are PLENTY of ‘sistas’ with long hair past their shoulder, grown from scalp, nurtured, beautiful that society STILL does not give attention to, in commercials, etc for fear ‘we’ will out beautify them. My point for your story though: It is a preference, not a ‘death to the culture’ action. Women have choices, simple as that. Embrace it. The only part of this story that is bulls***,is the men part which THEY should be chastized, a post written, called out for feeding into this as a direct result of when they decide what beauty is and what looks they give more attention to. Sounds like, once again, the male accountability goes unchallenged. Hmmmm. I respect your post, you went deep but it stopped there.

  • Christina K

    White women rock cornrows, DREADS and tease their hair to create a kinky
    effect- please tell me why no one howls at them to be more NATURAL and
    how they hate themselves? Lol. Release your fear- stop trying to force
    black people into this tiny mold. Freedom
    isn’t free if you have to be ONE type of ‘black’. That’s the problem
    with our community today. Can’t wear a weave, can’t be conservative,
    can’t be an atheist…someone will come along and tell you that you’re
    doing it (being black) wrong or that you hate yourself. It’s hilariously sad.

    • fujoshifanatic

      Why are you talking about an infinite minority of White people who do this? And no, they don’t hate themselves, they are actually MOCKING US with those styles because they wear it to feel “ethnic,” “native,” “tribal,” and “savage,” all descriptions I have heard them use to describe those styles, using it as some sort of blackface to feel edgy and hip. By contrast, I walk out my door and can immediately trip over a dozen Black women wearing ratchet weaves made with European hair trying to look “presentable,” “professional,” “stylish” and even “civilized.” Tell me where the similarity is in these scenarios? And I have no respect for brothas and sistahs who claim to be “professional stylists”, but can only style White people-type hair and have no idea how to take care of the hair that grows out of my own (and their!!) head. So no, they are not styling “our” hair, they are styling someone else’s hair that they are forcing us to buy and stick on our heads to get service. YOU need to do some research, and learn some self-love. Not everyone aspires to be the kind of Black that has type 3 and lower hair, which is what 99% of weave and wig hair is made out of, and what the MAJORITY of Black people do not have, no matter how many Cherokees are on your mother’s cousin’s side of the family. 🙁

      • enlightenment

        Prrrrrrreeeeach. I was like where the hell was she going with that analogy?!

      • Rose

        Technically, a lot of our ancestors were raped by whites. Y’know, on the plantation there were tons of mixed children around. Most Natives wanted nothing to do with us. So there’s those genes to consider.

    • enlightenment

      No, that is an awful comparison, sorry. Like .0005% of the White population rock so-called Black hairstyles. As opposed to like 65% of Black women wearing eurocentric, straight hair. How can you compare the two?! On top of that, And when whites do wear black styles, especially when they wear dreads, Black people don’t take it all that well! Let’s be real.

      And the hair industry created more profit for the ASIANS…not the Blacks. Sorry to burst your bubble. Guess who’s making a coint off the natural hair products though? Hmm… (Hint: Black women!!!)

      No one is telling anyone not to wear fake hair. Do you! Some women who wear weave don’t feel self-conscious. And I respect that sh*t. But if they literally get anxiety attacks just THINKING about walking outside their homes w/o a weave/wig, That’s an issue…and I’m sure its a prevailing issue in the AA community.

      • Christina K

        I know women who won’t leave the house without makeup on. Do they too hate themselves, their race and so on? I still think you guys are giving hair too much power. And yes, black women/men DO make a great deal of money and have become successful business owners styling hair and teaching others how to style black hair. Also, blacks are starting to carve their way into the hair market, making direct contacts with indian reps overseas. I will admit that asians feed on black demand and have profited greatly but it can turn around. They can’t DO our hair as well as we can. And I don’t care if white men/women rock dreads, braids- we’re highly emulated as a people.

        • enlightenment

          If a woman cannot leave her house without makeup on…that definitely means she’s insecure about her natural face. Yes, absolutely.

          Just like when a woman can’t leave her home without a weave/wig…she absolutely feels insecure without covering her natural texture with a heap of Brazilian fake hair.

          Also you cannot compare how much Blacks make in the weave/wig industry compared to what Asians make. It’s a HUGE difference. Koreans have MONOPOLIZED the weave industry. What do you mean they can’t do our hair as well as we can? They don’t need to DO our hair, they just need to sell it!

          No one is saying to stop wearing wigs/weaves as I said. Some women can wear it one day, and rock their natural stresses another day. We’re telling women to become comfortable with what they are born with and don’t buy into the Eurocentric standards of beauty. Like I said, if you’re are ducking behind bushes bc you’re afraid someone will see your kinky/nappy/curly hair, that’s definitely an insecurity!

        • Masterpieced

          Nope, unless the makeup is pale and they are not. Then yes, they are hating themselves.

    • Masterpieced

      The numbers of white women who do that are…. tiny. The number of black women weaved? plenty.

  • fujoshifanatic

    It’s so sad that every time I see articles like this you have scores of women come out defending their dependence on weave with the same tired, stupid excuses. It’s ridiculous, most times you look ridiculous with all that crap tied or (worse) glued to your head, and other folks see you as ridiculous when you use ineffective arguments to defend it. I grew my nappy hair out from neck length to mid-back length in two years with no wig, weave, or braid extensions, and it was not as difficult and troublesome as a lot of people claim it to be, and I still managed to look cute while doing it. I have no interest in financially supporting a bunch of racists (the Asians who control the fake hair industry) who exploit our insecurities while viewing us as less than animals. And the kind of man who pays attention to weave is not the kind of man I would want any way, so that would never be an incentive for me.

  • erika

    I don’t care what anybody says. My hair is very short and for some reason won’t grow past my ears. Yes! I feel more confident with long weave. It’s really not as big of a deal as this article is making it out to be. If you feel more confident with long hair and you feel like you get more attention that way more power to you. You bought the hair, and probably at an extremely high price. Flaunt it! Go ahead with it! I ain’t mad at you girl!

    • Masterpieced

      Get a cute short style! Anita Baker it up!

  • Lissa 329

    Honestly, I feel sexier when I install my weave. I get a lot of stares from men; It’s a confidence booster for me. I don’t pay it too much attention since its so damn superficial. But I install my weave to give my hair a break, to experience with allllll those textures (brazilian loose wave, indian straight) and colors and hell, because I can afford it and I like it! My mother always told me that men love long hair. Idk if its for sex purposes or if they just like looking at it. But I have noticed this in my early adult years: the men want you more when you’ve got the biggest booty, doesnt matter what your face looks like, or if you LOOK foreign. Foreign, meaning, you went a little longer with the hair and your skin is a tad bit lighter. I think this mainly is connected to the music that is hot right now! Listen to any Juicy J, Lil Wayne, Rocko, Drake or Future song. What are they saying? That they want the girl with the fattest booty or the foreign looking chick with hair down their back. It’s not motivational for the average girl to want to go out and have a good time with friends when you kinda know you wont be getting any play. I’ve gone out with my girlfriend with the big booty and long hair and have been attracted to a guy and he’ll look right past me and zoom into her and she’ll play them to the left with the quickness. Now, Im not ugly at all. Caramel skin, well endowed up top and my booty is juicy and can dress my butt off but with all that going on, I will always be passed up bc of who im with. I guess this is just a sign o’ the times!

    • Masterpieced

      Caramel skin makes you not ugly? Hmmm

      Maybe the stares are because they are in shock! ha ha

  • olddude

    If it does , then the wearer has a HUGE issue with herself. Im still waiting to see black men wearing “Donald Trump or Sam Donaldson style” wigs and such on their heads . Or even better , glue or sew it on to their dome and expect women to fall all over em . My question is , “what happens when the man wants to go swimming, into the ocean or scuba diving and his lady wont because of her hair. How’s he supposed to feel? ” Is he supposed to be cool with that ? He cant do all that he wants with his women because she has (fake) hair issues holding her back . What happened to women working with what they have and not trying to look like the 2nd coming of Diana Ross ?

    • NOPE

      Cosign X 10!

  • lockstress

    Yeah…there’s definitely a warped sense of what is beauty.
    But in the dity where I live…*bows head* Can we just like have wig/ weave etiquette 101 courses for these slack tricks.
    Rules of Engagement:
    1. If your wig was on the floor…dust it, wash it, brush it!
    2. If it don’t fit…you must aquit. (nothing is attractive about a tight arse wig cutting circulation to your face)
    3. Weave hair is not to be shared!
    4. Take it out after a while and let your scalp breathe.
    5. BLONDE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!
    6. RED IS NOT CUTE!
    7. BLUE IS OFF LIMITS!
    8. If your eyebrows are nappy…a bone straight weave is not for you.

    That’s all I got for now. Please feel free to add on. lol

    • Admitted Thief

      Sorry, but I’m stealing your comment. lol

    • Masterpieced

      NO ADDING ON. I do not like weaves but I do not like your #8. It is hateful.

  • just a moment

    When someone describes you, it shouldn’t be primarily about your weave. its a false sense of security if you don’t show your real hair most of the time. a lot more men rather have access to your real hair. you know the professional ones with their life together. I see some women are extra stuck up when hood fellas approach them just so she can blow him off. that’s why wig snatching in the street are trending. don’t love yourself no one else will.

    • Martin

      Liar

  • Blu

    What is the issue with black women and their hair? Weaves, no weaves, relaxed, natural, just get the eft over it and wear whatever u want and stop condemning people for what they choose to do for THEM. Ugh i hate articles like this.

    • Do You

      @ Blu

      I agree. Just do what’s best for you. I don’t understand this “Team Natural” Team Perm” “Team Weave” crap. All it does is divide us as black women. It’s silly and simple. Black people have waaaaay more problems to worry about then hair.

      So if you’re into weaves, do you boo. Like the natural look? Way to go!. Prefer relaxers, texturizers? Go head girl, do you!

      • Masterpieced

        If all the black women were going to get plastic surgery to thin their noses, then would you understand the self-hatred? This is the SAME thing!

    • Masterpieced

      Because the issue is how we feel about our hair texture. That is very deep.

  • NOPE

    1. If a man literally can’t recognize you or is completely caught off guard when he sees you without your weave or other accessories for that matter….. good luck with that.

    2. having a small or visible waist line will attract and keep more men. Count how many times you’ve heard a man comment on hair – almost never, only women do that – vs how many times we comment on a woman’s figure. But keeping in shape actually requires work, so I guess that one is out the window. A fat woman with a weave is still fat.

    • more

      Men do comment! Why you some prefer dating mixed women -_-. They dont like the fake hair.

    • Masterpieced

      AMEN

  • Jess Ari

    Don’t mind the confidence, it’s the carried away trains I see that’s over kill.

    I don’t do it, but I thought the purpose was to add volume and a little length….

    • Masterpieced

      Well these weaves have a lot of length. So….?

  • KeepingItReal

    I don’t really know about weaves and all…but…from the outside looking in…it appears the blame belongs to black hair salons. For whatever reason…it appears black hair salons pushed fake hair and perms onto their customers without telling them of the damages. I’ve heard from some that today, many black hair salons won’t do your hair unless you have a perm or weave….as if they have no idea how to do black hair. Like…wtf?????
    P.S. And…these black hair salons are black owned and black operated.

    • Leah Alicia Knight

      I like what you said that, that some black hair salon won’t do black hair unless you have perm or weave hair. I remember 15 years ago my mum decided to chop her hair off, she wanted a change in hair style. She cut her hair herself but she decided to go to a salon to get it shaped up, they told her they don’t touch virgin afro hair as they do not have the experience. My mum said it’s a shame that black people who work in these salon who claim they specialize in black hair, don’t know how deal with natural afro hair. She found another salon end that knew how to deal with afro hair.

  • Rosemary Davis

    Nothing wrong with feeling good and confident about yourself,I just think that we as black women have went above and beyond with weaves and hair extentions, we don’t have to be validated by fakeness and things that may seem real to us but not to others, and in due time who ever it is that you are trying to attract eventually will see the real you and besides most men can tell real from fake be it hair ,nails, or anything else and what man want to run his hands thru layers of tracks I think none and more or less he will be horrified when you take those things off and he sees the real you so let him fall in love with the real deal.Just saying.

    • more

      lmaoooo! YES GIRL!!! i’m currently been doing long term transitioning and i miss how my relaxed hair looked >_<. Now my hair is uneven and half is natural white the other half is relaxed and it's not as long as it used to be so yaaa i'm a little worried about what he gone think when i take my weave out.

  • N0PE

    Most of these comments confirm that attention is to women what sex is to men.

  • wveronica7

    If she liked the braids so much maybe she should fly to Nigeria and get them done herself. Hair, makeup, fashion are all expressions of individuality. If her friend felt confident with a new hair do then it should have been fine without all the analysis. You didn’t even have the courtesy to tell her you didn’t like her hair but thats your friend.
    I switch between weave and my relaxed hair. and I feel confident when I get my real hair done and I feel confident when I get a weave done. There is just something about getting your hair done that gives you a little pep in your step. I guess how men feel when they get a fresh cut. I didn’t see the issue with her switching up style, that’s what women do and when we switch it up there is always new guys.

    • bee

      My sentiments exactly! It really was a bit analytical. lol

  • Leah Alicia Knight

    I have plenty of friends and family that wear weave, I actually like it and got my hair weaved once but I removed it 48 hour later (could not take the itchy scalp). I’ve relaxed my hair twice in my life once at 14 and then at 21 and I had the relaxed for at least a year on both occasions. Truth be told I love my braids and that’s all I have had in for the majority of my life. If they were to make an itch free weave then I would be tempted to try it again, not for a confidence boost but just for a change. Natural or weaved hair do whatever works best for you.

    • Guest

      Just out of curiosity- what kind of weave did you try, if you remember?

      • Leah Alicia Knight

        I could not tell you it was nearly 9 years ago. I was no expert when it came to picking out weave. Probably that’s the reason why I had a really bad Itching scalp when I had it in.

      • Leah Alicia Knight

        I just stick to the braids because I’m so use to it.

      • Masterpieced

        Some dead Indian’s.

  • whhhhr

    I don’t know a nice new weave does give me a certain confidence…I think it’s that the confidence that makes you seem more attractive not necessarily the weave

    • Diane Adams

      @Whhhhr you are exactly correct. It’s not the weave that is more attractive it’s the confidence boost it gives you! By the same token, new clothes, loosing weight …also gives a boost in self esteem!

      • Masterpieced

        So, straight hair gives your confidence? How about losing weight? That will do you a better solid.

    • wveronica7

      Getting your hair done with or without weave is a confidence boost. This article is shady in my opinion.

    • Racquel

      I’m with you. It’s nice to switch up your style whether you do braids, weave, a new cut etc. But weaves let you experiment and it really does add a different flavor to your look. I’m a fan but I’m also comfortable in my own skin. I think it’s only shady if you feel you NEED something else yo make you more attractive.

      • Masterpieced

        Experiment with your own hair.

        • Guestest

          Why is it any of your fcking business how these women wear their hair? You are all up and down this thread trying to tell grown women how to do their hair. Not your business and not your right. You wont be dating any of these women on here so why are you so concerned. Get the fck on!

          • Masterpieced

            And… I bet you have a weave…. Right?

            • Guestest

              Wrong!!

    • Masterpieced

      Wow. So, you are saying that their hair is more attractive than our hair? A bigger confidence booster is enrolliing in Black History 101.

  • Alana

    Black women don’t even realize this is a form of mental slavery, you were taught to hate your hair!!! and straight/ long wavy hair is better. One day I heard my mixed friend say, if it weren’t for weave you won’t look good, some how validating her hair as being better than mines, as soon as I realized this was making her feel she was better, I said hey, and kept my hair natural from then on. I love my hair natural, I keep it clean and take care of it, I don’t need weave to fit into the matrix, because some day my husband must know what I got nappy hair and he’s got to love me just the way I am! I dream of the day all black women will see their hair as beautiful!!! bring back afrosss

    • Christina K

      Yawn. No one’s knocking the naps but weaves are fine. I bet you wear makeup and other things that enhance your look. Or are you natural all the way? Ha.

      • Alana

        Christina we are women, let’s be cordial. I was never rude to you and No I don’t wear make up, It’s a free country I’m entitled to my opinion, do not judge me or assume to know me because I say I prefer natural hair, I don’t hate weaves, but I prefer the natural looking types! I always tell people what ever race to appreciate what God gave them, Chinese are now doing eye surgery because they think their eyes are too small, I hate that too, I don’t like white women doing butt implants….Weaves, hair relaxer, skin-bleaching are all legacies of slavery….you don’t see white women getting nappy hair weaves do you!

        • enlightenment

          You are absolutely right.

        • bronzedyva

          No……Just tans, but and lip injections.

          • N0PE

            If you’re implying those are only Black women features, you are sorely mistaken.

            • bronzedyva

              ……..this is what you got from that response??

            • xxdiscoxxheaven

              People assume all long haired women are white right?

        • Christina K

          Nah, son. White women rock cornrows, DREADS and tease their hair to create a kinky effect- please tell me why no one howls at them to be more NATURAL and how they hate themselves? Lol. Release your fear- stop trying to force black people into this tiny mold. Your expectations have nothing to do with me or anyone else who wants to play around with different looks. It’s just hair and you guys are reading way too much into it. Freedom isn’t free if you have to be ONE type of ‘black’. That’s the problem with our community today. Can’t wear a weave, can’t be conservative, can’t be an atheist…someone will come along and tell you that you’re doing it wrong or that you hate yourself. It’s hilariously sad.

          • Masterpieced

            In very small numbers.

      • enlightenment

        Weaves are fine…just as long as you feel just as comfortable wearing your own natural hair out too. If you’re ducking behind bushes and wearing scarves to conceal your hair because you’re ashamed of your natural texture, that’s an issue.

        Same goes with makeup.

      • Growth

        I can’t speak for her but I am 100% natural. No perm,no weave, no make up, no brow shaping, no fake nails. Never have. Never will. Every woman isn’t taught “enhancement”. I was taught to love ME for how I was made. I have no problems with weaves they are just not for me. I guess I took offense to the “Ha!” at the end of your comment; as if All women feel the need to enhance.

        • folamix

          Thank you.

        • Rose

          That’s great, and I bet you look beautiful. Just don’t be afraid to play around every now and then. You can easily wipe make-up off, or take a weave out. It’s all in good fun. Heck, one day I wear long nails, the other day I take them off and sport my natural ones. I just recently cut my braids short because I got tired of long hair. Nothing is ever one way. Have fun with the rest of us! -inviting you to black-women-having-fun-

      • Masterpieced

        The makeup is the SAME color as our natural skin. Weaves are a texture that is not natural to us.

    • mama

      So your mixed friend made a comment and you consider her words meanindful. Why? You are telling others that wearing weaves are mental slavery,yet, the words of another person made so much of a difference to you that you ferl to need to advertise it. Mental slavery is not having enough confidence in yourself to avoid the words of your mixed friend and know that how people wear their hair is their business. You clearly have an issue with self worth dont project that issue on others.

      • Masterpieced

        She is responding. Just like you are. She has great self worth.

    • SisterTruth

      Alana, when your friend made that statement, she was saying that you’re ugly. It was more a comment about your face than your hair and her hair. I hope you ended that friendship.

    • Brwn Sugga

      You should scratch the word friend from your story. No FRIEND would try to make you feel inferior because of a hairstyle, Regardless of race.

  • bee

    I used to be so against weaves in my head. I didn’t see the point since I was able to grow long hair from my own scalp. However, as i’m getting older, they are quite convenient! Especially when you’re not trying to put tons of heat on your hair .. you can manipulate weaves in ways that you wouldn’t want to to your own hair. I appreciate weaves in that sense. I wear weave more now, but I do love my own hair. Weaves definitely give us women a boost! But so does make-up, push up bras, and what not.

    • Rosemary Davis

      I hope that you give your hair a break from time too time and not wear weaves for long periods of time otherwise you can damage your hair folicles to the extent that your natural hair will stop growing in various spots and places and that’s a proven fact just saying.

      • Jan

        that’s what wearing closures and proper hair care is for. you also have to watch who you let install your weave. I never had hair loss or stagnant growth as a result of wearing weave. I don’t wear my part on the same side and I don’t have the same braiding pattern each time either. See, people are ill informed and they let anybody in their head. my stylist and I are close and she knows how to care for all types of hair.

    • Masterpieced

      Just stop the heat and you will be fine.

  • hollyw

    She means she gets more attention from *certain kinds of* males with a weave… come on, now, let’s be honest.

    …plus she was in L.A., soooo no-brainer.

    • Guest

      And the point being….?

      • hollyw

        The point is that her point is not generalizable to the male population as a whole, which was the entire point of highlighting the word *certain kind*…it cannot be simplified further than that. Reading is fundamental.

  • Christina K

    Weaves are great and women of ALL ethnicity wear them. Do some research, people. They’re fun, give you versatility and honestly, if weaves are so terrible, then so are push-up bras, makeup and fashionable clothes/shoes. We ALL like to add a little oomph to our physical appearance. Don’t read too much into it. Extensions were a thing even back during ancient Egypt- it’s all about style. I hate natural nazis.

    • guest

      So eveybody against weave has to be a natural nazi?

      • me

        No,she didn’t say they were either.

      • Christina K

        Add something of substance. All I’m saying is that it’s not a sign of self-hatred to want to add a bit of length with weaves, or to wear makeup or anything that enhances your look. These Europeans have to be absolutely sick with amusement and how we fuss and fret over such stupid things. No one accuses them of hating their whiteness when they wear braids or add extensions to their hair. Let us live, damn. (lol) There are a lot of other things plaguing the black community and hair isn’t one of them.

        • Masterpieced

          The numbers of them doing that is soooo small. How many weaved heads can you see in 10 minutes form black women?

        • donalda

          If you don’t believe blacks have underlying issues of self hatred surrounding skin, features and yes, hair texture you don’t understand your history. You been took! You been bamboozled! To paraphrase Malcolm X.

      • Christina K

        Also as a side note, hair weaving has really helped many black men and women become successful business owners as they work those magic fingers. All we need it to lock down the actual import of hair. It’s a ka-billion dollar industry, haha. Support, don’t knock it.

    • bronzedyva

      I agree, to me its an accessory like earrings; make up, whatever. I love it esp when the natural nazis proclaim women wearing weaves are trying to be something they are not with blond afro on top of their heads.

      • N0PE

        90% of 95% of women are an “accessory”.

        • DiscoChik

          Men are too in some circles. This exist too!

      • donalda

        If you are weaving in a hair texture you weren’t born with (bone straight) to cover and not enhance you are trying to be someone you’re not. Dying natural hair is less a cover up than an enhancement of what you already posses (kinky hair).

      • Masterpieced

        It is still their hair texture.

    • folamix

      I am not sure what you mean by natural nazis but I do not wear weaves and such. I didn’t wear them when my hair was relaxed either but that was my choice. Anybody can buy a wig, weave or extension and be versatile. I would much rather explore the versatility of own my natural hair. Again, my choice. I would never go so far as to say that the wearing of fake hair is a form of self-hatred. But I do question it, especially when the fake hair is so dissimilar to our own.

      • Christina K

        I’m not so sure about that last sentence. When I straighten my natural hair- with regular blow+drying and products, it looks just like ‘fake’ hair. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that fake hair seems so unnatural that one couldn’t fathom the straighened strands sprouting from a black woman’s head. If you think that, you’re wrong because I’ve seen many black women with long, flowing locks of hair (without perm). I’ve seen natural blondes and redheads in the black community as well. Perm is what causes more damage to the hair than weaves, incidentally. I really think the howling about hair is just a distraction from REAL issues in our community- institutionalized racism, white power or privilege, white nepotism, income inequality, job discrimination, poverty, privatized prisons and legal segregation/urban gentrification…how about we start THERE? Women are way too worried about what other women wear.

        P.S. I’ve seen white women with cornrows or teasing their hair to created body and kinkiness- why does no one ever accuse them of self-hatred or yell at them to be more natural? It’s so lol. When we’re free to do what we want, we’ll really BE free.

        • DiscoChik

          I’m with you only on the part where the accusation of self hatred comes into play and other races, when they tan or where braids or tease to get kinkiness are free from the self hatred label. Sounds unfair and biased noh?

          • DiscoChik

            Correction: I meant ‘wear’.

          • Masterpieced

            Yep. They are free from it because of the numbers. Look how many black women do it in comparison.

        • folamix

          Let me clarify that last sentence. I know there are black women who have natural long flowing hair. But I have seen plenty of black women who you can look at them and know that the hair on their head is not their own. Like I said, I don’t stress about it, to each his own. But what makes me question folks is when they cannot see the beauty of their own hair. However you wear your hair, be it straight or curly, let it be it your own. But hey its a sign of the times.

          By the way, I don’t care what other women do to their hair, especially white women.

        • Masterpieced

          White women rarely wear cornrows…

      • donalda

        I think it is a form of collective self hatred. No other people in America have been brainwashed into believing they are ugly in every way. You may not hate yourself but the culture has been sending black people a message of inferiority that as a people we have so deeply internalized that we see nothing weird about feeling more fly with wearing a hair texture that isn’t our own.

        • Masterpieced

          And they LIE and say it is to protect the hair and be versatile. Lord.

      • Masterpieced

        amen

      • donalda

        Not individual self hatred, collective cultural and social self hatred. There’s a difference. Probably a better term would be brainwashing or cultural conditioning. If your natural hair was never affirmed as beautiful or desirable and for years you were pressured to straighten, weave, cover your natural hair how could you possibly feel good about that or claim you’re just switching it up or being versatile? Can you honestly say that?

    • DiscoChik

      Amen! Do the research, people. We didn’t start the fire… Apologies to you though for seeing natural choices stance as Nazi. I get it though and hear where you are comung from with that.

      • DiscoChik

        ‘Coming’ from is what I meant.

    • Rose

      THANK. YOU. Everyone needs to start having fun.

    • Leelons

      Oh please. Only a small percentage of white women are wearing push up bras and whatever fashion accessories while many black women of all walks of life are wearing weaves. Also these push up bras and accessories are only for a night while a weave is on 24/7 and these bras dont cost hundreds of dollars a month for maintenance.

      • phillymiss

        I agree. I work with mostly black women and I hear them talk about “bad hair” and “good hair” all the time. They panic when they can’t go to the salon to get their hair “done,” afriad that those naps will start showing. Wear your hair whatever way you like, but many black women (and men) still don’t like the natural texture of what grows out of their heads. Why not own up to it?

    • Masterpieced

      Push up bras reflect no certain ethnicity but a straight weave does.

    • donalda

      As I always say, do what you will. You just have to realize where the ideas that long, silky hair is better than the nappily curly tresses most black women were born with comes from! That’s all I ask. For us it’s not as simple as “all them other chicks” do it. For one, they are weaving in a hair texture they already naturally possess. They are just adding thickness and length. I have yet to see a sister weaving in kinky hair. However, when it’s available, count me in because I would love to have Erika Badu’s bold afro on my head for a change of pace.

  • rainbow

    Here is the thing, the longer your hair is, the more attention you will get. If your weaves are longer than your actual hair, then you will see the different. If your real hair is long & plentiful but the weave is not so bountiful, you will receive more attention when you wear your real hair.

  • SimplePseudonym

    I could see that. I don’t wear weaves, but have curly hair. When my hair is straightened, it’s halfway down my back and I definitely get more attention when I wear it that way- however, from men it’s only a certain KIND of attention that is not necessarily the type of attention that I like. BUT this is to say, I can totally see why wearing a weave can make one feel more attractive.

    Most societies praise women with longer hair (in the light of “a woman’s hair is her glory” even said in many religions), so adding some length can def be a confidence boost

    • Rosemary Davis

      How long does the confident last??? does it last for maybe about a month when it starts to seperate and look a mess then you can’t wait untill your next weave appointment to have more hair sewn in so that no ones sees you without it.The scriptures says that it’s the gray hair that is the crown of ones beauty in that one has lived a long and productive life and have lived it morally clean and up right in the eyes of the true God. .

      • more

        Basically but you catch anyone in the hair boards admitting it

    • Masterpieced

      Glory can be a short nice hairdo. It does not specify length. And the weave IS NOT YOURS so it is not your glory. ha ha

  • Guest

    I love when articles like this are posted, every single person that comments has long natural hair down their back lol.

    • Aiych

      And how EXACTLY do you know this, you incredible psychic commentator?

      • hi-liter

        **snickers**

      • Miki

        Sarcasm tsk tsk, she’s being sarcastic!

        • Guest

          Thank you.LOL

      • wow

        If you weren’t so quick to try and be snide, you would’ve picked up on the sarcasm.

      • enlightenment

        lmao.

    • fujoshifanatic

      Actually, I do–grown with no wigs, weave or braid extensions. It can be done and I am so glad I did it without supporting the racist fake hair industry who laugh at us behind our backs because we are so desperate for some of their sisters’ hair that they can charge ridiculously prices for it. I would rather be bald than submit to that.

      • roof.roof!

        A hit dog will holla.

      • donalda

        They are laughing at us! Society at large already places the black woman at the bottom of the beauty pedestal so when you chase after hair you can only attain with weaves it reinforces the idea that people with straight hair are better and more beautiful than we are and that we accept that very premise.

    • more

      omg yes!!! lmaooooo!!!!

  • dedra

    I dont wear weaves, but I do find that some women are more attracrive with a blended weave.

    • Masterpieced

      They would be more attractive and better esteemed if they took the time to do their own hair.

  • Leah Robinson

    I will say that with weave you do get this certain “attitude” a new-found confidence. While I don’t mind a confidence boost every now and then I like to feel good rocking my own hair! I wore wigs for a month and just couldn’t do it, even under a sew in I feel like I’m not fully myself. My friends can’t seem to grasp this concept, but I’ll just continue to wear my hair and weaves on occasion.

    • Masterpieced

      Then it is time to invest in better confidences: a college degree, a new language skill, some btter skills for work… Some REAL confidence boosters!

      • donalda

        Being black and proud of every inch of my being gives me confidence. I relaxed my hair for years, did braid extensions and even wore weave at my wedding. I never, ever felt confident or more attractive than I do now being fully myself. Three years ago I did the big chop and never looked back. I now have a full head of gorgeous dreadlocks on which I am complimented on frequently. Wearing your own hair in whatever style you choose tells the world you are comfortable in your skin and your ethnic identity AND contrary to popular belief you are just as beautiful as the white woman society boosts up on a pedestal above all females of color. Now these SOBs are trying to copy locks and braids, calling it “alternative”. Smh.

        • Masterpieced

          I am glad that your hair is healthy. I love your reply.

          The only thing I will say though is actually you see more sisters copying their hair than you see copying our hair.

          • donalda

            True, we aren’t the standard. Also I think we need to acknowledge that our men can be an obstacle when it comes to choosing to wear our own texture and natural styles.