Ladies, how many of us are lucky to have a girlfriend or girlfriends whom we love, trust and hang out with? You know the ones, they know all of your secrets and they have your back no matter what. We all have at least one friend who meets those requirements and we wouldn’t trade her for the world. But what happens when you’re in a relationship with someone you adore (old or new), and your ride or die friend isn’t supportive of it? Or better yet, what if she acts as though she’s jealous of your newfound love? What do you do? How do you react towards a friend who is seemingly unsupportive of your relationship and still remain friends? Of course, you don’t want to make it seem as though you’re choosing a man over your best bud…but at the same time, you want to keep your man. So how do you handle a friend who is seemingly envious of you and your new love? By keeping these simple rules in mind:
1. Don’t tell her/them details about your relationship, even if they ask. This is the best way to minimize any negative comments that may aggravate you.
2. When you need to vent about your relationship and partner, find someone other than your BFF. If she’s not supportive of the positive things going on, then telling her what’s wrong will only add fuel to a negative fire.
3. Have a sincere heart-to-heart with her if need be. Let her know that her actions, reactions and/or comments are offensive and hurtful to you and your relationship. While having this heart-to-heart, be prepared to let her know exactly how she’s been acting and simply ask her why she is behaving in such a way. Not only that, but be sure to let your buddy know that you’re not choosing your man over her, but you want to have healthy relationships with both.
While dealing with less than positive reactions from your girlfriends about your mate, there is one other important thing that should be done above all from the beginning, and that is making sure you’re putting your actions and reactions into perspective before you think your friend is hating on you. Why? Because more often than not, many women in relationships have the tendency to overlook what they’re doing and how they act when in love. They also tend to overreact to comments or observations that a friend sees that a woman in love can often miss because she is sprung.
So how do you do this? Simple. By making sure you are sensitive to your friend or friends’ relationship status and her feelings about it. Every single woman is not a happy one, and if she’s not single, she may be miserable in her own relationship. I know you want to share your happiness with the world, especially with your close girlfriends, but be mindful of your friend’s feelings as only a real friend can be.
Also, have more to talk about other than you and your man. Again, I know you’re excited about him, but try your best not to mention him in every sentence. Lastly, be secure enough in your relationship to the point where if your friends and even family never have anything good to say about what you have, that it won’t bother you. You made the conscious choice to be with who you’re with, and whether the people around you are supportive or not, stick with your decision until you’re ready to move on to someone else…that is, if you want to.
It can be a difficult thing balancing your relationships with friends and lovers, but it is not impossible. No matter the case, if you have friends who are unsupportive, do your best to find the balance within so that everyone, especially you, is happy.
Did you have girlfriends who were unsupportive of your relationship? How did you handle them?
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
