50 Things Men Wish Women Knew

May 29, 2014  |  
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Men are very simple, straightforward, and communicative creatures. And Even though you think you’ve got us all figured out, there are quite a few things that you just don’t know.

With that in mind, yours truly consulted a host of men from all walks of life, backgrounds, and upbringings and compiled this list of 50 things men wish women knew.  A Twitter account was created to expound on all their thoughts and comments for your perusal. Now let’s get into it!

Comparing or remarking about your ex is a sign that you’re jonesing for the past, which any man would say you should stay in if you’re going to go down that road.

Men like to be complimented too. We don’t necessarily need words to have our ego stroked. A nice, loving touch works wonders too.

Brooklyn attorney Aaron H. Pierce drops this nugget of truth on women who wish to remain in the dark. If a man is dealing with a funky-footed female anyway, his integrity must sincerely be questioned.

Before you step out on the town with that Prince Charming, ladies, make sure you’re not looking like Wooly Mammoth. If this bit of advice offends you, please make sure you’re not rocking a chin strap before speaking.

Hip-Hop Wired’s Trent Clark eloquently put forth the notion that he wishes a woman would know how to properly “speak into the mic.” In laymen’s terms, we love it when you’re not scared to play the skin flute.

For the woman who wishes to be saved from every little thing that goes bump in the night, please note that we’re not a superhero. Find the strength inside of you before shrilling out a scream that only dogs and your man can hear.

We are truly simple creatures. Give us a great sandwich, some mind-blowing sex, and let us watch stuff blow up. If you’re moderately good at the first two, make sure to double-down on the third and we’ll love you for life!

2 Hungry Bros. producer Robert “Deep” Maldonado urges the Susie Q. Homemaker’s of the world to refine their culinary arts skills. If not, be prepared to not only be hungry, but extremely single too.

If you’re waiting for a ring and are celibate, then kudos and blessings to you. But if you’re out here giving up the cookies without knowing this important rule, then you’ll find out how quickly the men in your life come and go — literally.

The rule in the theaters are the same in the household when you’re living with a man, “Keep quiet until the credits roll.” This applies unless you’re watching a Marvel film, and then you must be all the way quiet until after the credits finish.

Being stinky or funky as a woman is uncalled for, and one will be routinely joked about until it is handled. It is understandable if you have a medical condition, but a note from your doctor will be needed ASAP.

Men who live with a woman (or are married) can attest that their significant other can eat up a lot of TP with their booties. If you’re not restocking the supply, please stop devouring the two-ply.

For the man less likely to attend church (see: Hip-Hop Wired’s Chris Thomas) he will profess to worship the deity known as the NFL. Heck, even after football season ends there is still the NBA. So, getting in a devoted parishioners way is only going to get you hit with the Holy Bible. Either join in or tune out.

Sure, there was that hilarious poem that became a quick viral hit. But truth is no man likes to be compared, just like women don’t. So, do us all a favor and keep the parity to yourself.

If you don’t know, now you know. Ever see a bunch of men in Forever 21? Next time notice how they all aren’t speaking, but yet are thinking the same thing. Shopping is not an activity that we’re particularly fond of. If you want us to join in, make sure there’s a stop on the way that we can enjoy!

Before this content became free on the World Wide Web, men had magazines, VHS tapes, and posters featuring their favorite stars — we’re talking since our early teens. If you’re not willing to explore your frisky-risque side, then please join a convent and stay out of our lives.

Fans of the popular movie Love Jones can attest to this. Heck, even if you’re not into the flick, there’s nothing more exhilarating than making up passionately after letting your tempers flare. At least it’s better than how other people choose to settle an argument.

Cleveland’s own, The Rude Boyz, had a popular song called “Written All Over Your Face,” which had the ladies loving the wordplay. Truth is, though, we aren’t the Long Island Medium and can’t sense what’s on your face, let alone your mind. Speak and be expressive!

There are tutorials on YouTube if you are unsure of your skill set. A real man will definitely try to help you as best as he can without sounding like he’s Frank Ocean.

Sex between consenting adults is one where you’re free to feel liberated. If you’re a woman who has hang-ups about being called certain things or asked to do certain acts, please let us know upfront. 

While it may be cool to you and your girlfriends to see what you’re getting yourself into (Facebook stalking), reaching out to your man’s ex or baby mama without his knowledge will find you on the side of the road with your thumb out to passing cars.

Chris Holmes, an independent business owner from Ohio, has this reminder for all the women who believe there is a future in promoting your backside. He’s not lying. If this is your thing, it may work for awhile, but eventually gravity will come a-calling and have you looking like you’re dragging two rubber trunks.

Proper parenting is a part of the homemaker traits, we as men love and appreciate about women. If you believe this involves feeding your youngling unhealthy food, a real man will call Child Protective Services on you.

Studies show that playing video games not only help people learn skills better than non-players, it is an acceptable social trait to have in relationships. If you’re anti-gaming, you might want to sit down and experience what all the fuss is about before criticizing.

Similar to being timid in the bedroom, being mute in communication doesn’t help a relationship to grow. If you’re the type of woman who doesn’t find openness sexy, then learn how to be a mime and stay away from love altogether.

Frank Gateau, co-author of Single Man, Married Man, has this bit of information for the ladies. It goes without saying that a real man tries to keep it 100% at all times, but in those rare cases where this happens, it’s because we don’t want you to be upset.

As an extra bonus, Mr. Gateau wanted the women to know that those male friends you think are “just cool,” realistically still want to funk you. So, keep that in mind the next time your play brother wants to come over to talk about those troubles you’re having.

We’re not Kanye West. Our fashion sense ends and begins with what looks good on the bedroom floor. But if you swear that Uggs look good, you probably also have that “Save Your Do” mesh wrao Nicole Ari Parker tried to popularize in your house.

Say it, don’t hold back and let your love flow. If you believe that that man is yours, then by all means don’t keep quiet about it. As the old proverb goes: “A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.”

No matter how much you love a man, keeping the past present will drive him away. If he’s done something wrong and you forgave him, then act like it’s forgiven. Continue to bring up all the bad and you’ll destroy whatever good you were hoping to salvage.

It’s hard to agree with Kanye West all the time, but this one point is true. “One good girl is worth a thousand girls.” A real man in love will curve any side female to make sure his main queen stays happy.

Looking is a part of human nature. We’re all beautiful creatures. Whomever really gets mad is severely insecure and needs to check that mess at the door. But, as men, we reserve (and expect) the right to touch the women we love in all the right places.

Fake hair, fake butt implants, fake eyelashes all constitute a fake, non-existent relationship in the minds of most men. To a man who represents and respects himself as a natural being, he’ll always hold a bit of disdain for the woman who tarnishes her natural beauty with a bevy of fake products and add-ons.

Keeping it hot and spontaneous should be the goal of any couple who wants to take it to the next level. If you’re really about that life (in a way that’s not made for reality TV), you’ll hop up on it in the most random places. In the end, your friends and family will always be left wondering how’d you get wifed up so fast.

Jean Alerte, owner of Brooklyn, New York’s Brooklyn Swirl, and co-author of Single Man, Married Man has these kind words for women. Building a kingdom takes two royal monarchs, not one. And if you decide to be a man’s partner, he’ll work hard to keep it 100% at all times.

Another one courtesy of Mr. Alerte, which may make it into the final draft of Single Man, Married Man, is true. A man does not want to be hit with every negative wave you experience after already fighting a war on the street. Keep it peaceful, keep it positive, and build a healthy relationship together.

If you believe us to be saints, and not sinners, then you’re sorely mistaken. We make mistakes. We foul sometimes. We’re not on the level of Jesus Christ. The sooner you realize and respect that, the quicker we all can move towards cultivating a healthy relationship.

It’s in the dictionary, so if you’re unfamiliar with the lingo look it up. A man will bend over backwards to ensure that things are provided for and established. But upon the happenstance that he drops the ball, a woman should realize that there should be a compromise on how things go moving forward.

Being fit is fun. Being healthy together provides you with the stamina to keep your love strong. The only gold medal a relationship involving a man and a woman should be going after is one where they place #1 in health and fitness, together.

See, some people might like to cause a scene, as it makes for great make-up sex later on. But if you’re going to perpetually embarrass your man by yelling at him like he’s a little child, then you’re going to be placed on the bus and shipped back to Singlesville.

For as much as men try to learn about the women in their lives, the same must be done in return. Figure out what we like and take an interest in it. Who knows, you could end up excelling in it!

No man should have to hide himself (or his self-love habit) from the woman he chooses to be with. If you’re putting the fear of God in him just because he likes to be close to his love below, then you’re not open to having a fulfilling relationship at all.

Cars and chicks. These things go together like ham and burger. As long as you’re not moaning and groaning like a Porsche Carrera, us men will enjoy hearing that sound over and over and over and over again.

It is harder to trust and believe men and women in this digital age. But if you’re able to do it and believe in it as strongly as us, your mate, then together love should guide the relationship to a positive place.

For those moments when you’re indecisive and don’t know what you’re going to wear, please prepare your outfit at least three hours in advance. If we have to tell you that this outfit would look better with an accessory, it means that time is of the essence and we really don’t care what you wear.

With the #BanBossy campaign in full effect, it’s only right that you end it in the household too. A man is looking for a helpmate, not a commander-in-chief. Learn how to be the former and you’ll be all the happier for it.

Life changes for couples when they get together. And as new habits are formed, a man has a tendency to lose a bit of himself. Help that to not happen by giving him the freedom to enjoy the things he loved before he started loving you. So, let him keep that poker night with the fellas, ladies!

Only the gorgeous survive in this cutthroat world, or so says Business Insider. As men, we love to make sure our arm candy is primed and ready to be the center of attention. If a woman knows this and excels, she not only gains a proper and prepared suitor, she shows out as a pure diamond.

These are important steps women must know before and during sex with a man. If you’re unsure at any time about the sex you’re having with any man, please consult this tweet to ensure that you’re making an attempt at keeping your man happy.

A woman with a sense of humor, an ability to keep brevity in a relationship will find herself at the top of man’s list. Over having a big butt, over having long, curly hair, being able to make a man laugh ranks at least number 2, underneath being able to cook a hearty meal. Know this and you’ll know everlasting love.

Ladies, what are some other things you wished you knew from us men?! Speak on it below!

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