What Is On Your Relationship Bucket List?

7 Comments
February 28, 2014 ‐ By Madame Noire
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From YourTango

Since the film Bucket List came out in 2007, most of us haven’t just heard of bucket lists, we’ve got one. Mine includes: traveling internationally, getting over my irrational fear of karaoke, and finishing a book I started writing years ago.

Bucket lists reflect our unique dreams and desires, which makes them deeply personal. They’re also inspirational: They remind us of what we want to accomplish and of the qualities we hope to honor more fully before we die. In my case, we’re talking about adventure, creativity and overcoming challenges, to name but a few. Viewed through the lenses of doing  (what we want to experience) and being (who we aspire to be) bucket lists aren’t just a boon to our personal growth. They also benefit our romantic relationships.

Research shows that trying new things together reinforces relationship happiness. Novelty not only provides more ways for us to connect, it gives us a new, and renewed, perspective on our partners.

For couples, creating and checking items off a bucket list energizes your relationship.

How do you go about creating a couples bucket list? Start with these three questions.

  1. What new experiences and adventures do we yearn to have with each other?
  2. What do we want to create together as a couple?
  3. Who do I most want to be in our relationship?

Feel free to answer these questions jointly. Or you can respond separately and then compare notes, highlighting areas of overlap. Focus on the big picture if you notice differences. For example, don’t assume that your wish for more romance and your partner’s interest in a course on Tantric sex mean you don’t agree. My guess is you share a desire for more intimacy, maybe passion, too. So ask yourselves:

What might be possible for me, and for us, if I tried what my partner suggests?

Unlike items on our most common to-do list — buy milk, pay bills, etc — it’s easy to defer our relationship bucket list (and our individual one, too) to some vague future. “We’ll explore our sensuality after our kids leave home,” we tell ourselves, or “we’ll take a cross-country road-trip after we retire.”

Read more about relationships at YourTango.com 

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  • Apollo Creed

    For just ONE DAY (heck, I’ll take even one FRIGGIN’ hour) I want my wife to pick up the other goddamn XBOX controller and experience the joy videogames with me!!!

    • Laine

      I love to game..lol! But on the pc, not on an XBOX….:-). There are woman out there that game… !

    • BabyBlue

      That seems reasonable

    • Rayjulian85

      Lol! Maybe you should tell her that… She might enjoy it. It’s exciting for your partner to still find things to introduce you to and she might like that you’d involve her

    • Trisha_B

      Haha this is cute! Just ask her or get a game that she might enjoy or that allows some fun competition. I like playing video games, but not the sport ones. But let it be a fighting game & I’m fighting for the controller & I’m not giving it back till I beat his butt lmao

    • FromUR2UB

      Make a deal with her. What is the thing that she has been wanting you to do, in exchange for this thing that you want her to do? Present it to her that way.