7 Wrong Reasons To Stay With The Wrong Man

February 27, 2014  |  
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You know it in your gut when a relationship isn’t right for you: you start experiencing anxiety around the person, you can’t sleep well at night and you find yourself flirting with other men. But, for one of these reasons, you might think it’s too much of a hassle, or even the wrong decision, to get out of your relationship. But no reason is good enough to stay in an unhappy relationship.

 

 

 

 

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I don’t want to be alone

You and your partner get along well enough, you have the same life goals, it’s nice to have consistent sex and cuddling in your life, and you don’t want to start from scratch on the singles scene.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why that doesn’t matter

Just because something is “good enough” is not a reason to stay in it. You deserve something that is great. And staying in a relationship out of the fear that “this is as good as it gets” will only make you eventually resent the relationship, and “good” will inevitably become bad.

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We have amazing chemistry

Your bodies are just drawn to one another. You feel alive around each other. There is electricity there. Everything feels exciting with him in the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why that doesn’t matter

Chemistry can only take you so far, but chemistry will not scrounge to find a way to pay the bills when times are tough, and chemistry will not always be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to bounce career ideas off of. Chemistry is just hormones, and you’re not a teenager anymore. It’s time to look for a stronger foundation.

 

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We already live together

Moving out would be such a pain. You’d have to sleep on a friend’s couch until you found your own place, or you can’t afford a place so you’d have to live with your parents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why that doesn’t matter

Okay…seriously? You’d stay with the wrong person forever just to avoid a couple of months on a friend’s couch, or a year living with your parents until you got your finances together? What’s a couple of months to a year in the scheme of your entire life?! A life that you should spend happy.

 

 

 

 

 

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My family loves him/his family loves me

Your family is so charmed by him and they tell you constantly how perfect he is for you. His family adores you and treats you like part of the family—perhaps they’re the family you never had.

 

 

 

 

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 Why that doesn’t matter

His family and your family are not in bed at night when you feel completely alone and sad next to the man who you know isn’t right for you. You’re not dating his family: you’re dating him. And the right guy will make you feel so good that it won’t even matter if his family likes you—he will give you enough love that he will feel like your family.

 

 

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He enhances my career

He challenges me, or gives me good ideas, or works in the same field as me and helps me make connections.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why that doesn’t matter

Any success that you earn due to the help of a partner you don’t want to be with will not be enjoyable success—you’ll feel guilty about the way that you earned it. Every time you sit in your big office or cash your big paycheck, you’ll feel a little sad knowing you gave up your chance at true love to get it.

 

 

 

 

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 He’s my whole social life

Your friends got angry that you dedicated all of your life to your man and never made time for them, so they’ve abandoned you, and now he is your only social life.

 

 

 

 

 

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Why that doesn’t matter

You should go apologize to your friends and get them back! And you should be with a man who would have never let your relationship with him sever your friendships in the first place.

 

 

 

 

 

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I don’t want to hurt him

You are his entire social life, or your family has been to him the family he never had, or he is just such a good guy you hate the idea of causing him pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Why that doesn’t matter

If you stay with a man you don’t really love or who you are settling for, you will cause him enormous and inevitable pain in the long run when he realizes he’s wasted years or his life with a woman who didn’t 100% cherish him.

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