Why You Should Ignore Dating Advice From Married Women

February 21, 2014  |  

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From YourTango

Last year, Susan Patton, alum and mother of two Princeton sons, shared her dating tips on finding a husband while still in college in the Daily Princetonian newspaper. Her opinion on how coeds should spend more time looking for love than working on career sent shock waves through women of all ages.

This year, the rewritten op-ed piece appeared in the Wall Street Journal on Valentine’s Day. As a dating coach for women over 40, I can see what caused the fury. Here are six of Susan’s most annoying points for college girls:

  1. Insinuates that women should marry early. Over 30, single gals will likely compete with younger women and fail to land a decent husband
  2. Don’t fall for the old P.C. feminist line that educated ambitious women can’t have it all — great jobs and a family.
  3. You could marry a man who isn’t your intellectual equal if you wait, but what will you talk about if he doesn’t know Norwegian playwrights or medieval tapestries?
  4. Don’t have casual sex with a guy who could become your husband because men still don’t buy the cow if the milk is free.
  5. College is an environment teeming with like-minded, age appropriate single men and you’ll never find this concentration of single guys again.
  6. Women invest more in planning for their careers than their personal happiness.

Point #1 — Marry Early Or Else
Huffington Post shared an angry rebuttal written by Emma Gray who, at 26, says, “Thanks, but no thanks”. Like most of the response pieces, Emma’s hackles were raised by the idea that eating sushi and watching Downton Abby shouldn’t be enough for today’s young, career-minded women. Instead, they should work on getting a husband.

Emma goes on to point out that young women like her are looking for love, working on careers that are not a waste of time, enjoying sex without preventing them from finding love, and still value marriage and motherhood. As a dating coach for women, that’s good to hear. Of course you can find love and marry after college! Women do not have an expiration date. See point #5 below.

Read more about dating advice at YourTango.com 

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  • olympicwatcher

    The term single women is so broad in terms of what women want. There are single women who dont want to marry and there are single who do want to marry. And for those who wish to marry, some advice from married women can be valuable. I also believe that waiting until late 30s and 40s is not ideal for finding marital partner and having children. The truth is older women will have to compete with younger women. I also believe women can have careers and marriage. Personally, I dont know any man who will object to their wife working. But as an older woman who had children in my late 30s; although I conceived quickly, many women I know who waited struggled to or never conceived. Even through infertility treatment. I, personally, hate when women tell other women that waiting to conceive is no big deal because it can be.

  • selly

    actually women do have an expiration date, if you want children. I would argue that it would be more detrimental to take dating advice from a feminist.

    • olympicwatcher

      Yes, yes!

  • Scribeprince

    I think that the title of this article is inaccurate. The content however is on point and completely true.

    • Miley

      The title is misleading. It’s just a rebuffing of an old article from last year.