Are You Addicted To Commitment?
Do you keep attracting the non-committal man? You can see a pattern, but feel like the cause is outside of you. You blame yourlove problem on match.com or the city that you live in or the men your age, but the reason you don’t have your true partner isn’t about any of those things. The answer for your loneliness is unconscious and, since you can’t see your unconscious, you can start by looking at your actions.
There is a quote in the Hindu text, The Upanishads that says, “As your deepest driving desire is, so is your will, as your will is, so is your deed, as your deed is, so is your destiny.” The deepest driving desire is unconscious (cause) mirroring your results (effect). If your current result is being alone and single, than your deep unconscious desire is supporting staying single for some reason.
Here is an example. If you have a fear of heartache, your deepest driving desire may be to keep you safe. If you associate love with pain, no matter how hard you try, safety will trump any potential for a real romancebecause your unconscious deems love as dangerous territory. The unconscious mind is always moving you from pain to pleasure.
These protective mechanisms of the ego are not bad. Having a strong ego served you when you were younger and was important for your survival and strong state of mind. Now that you are older, understanding the ego’s defenses can help you bring them to light so you can transcend the ego and move toward a higher desire based on love instead of fear.
There is no need to remove, heal or clear these unconscious beliefs. If you attempt to go about correctly yourself that way, you will be focusing on the past, making yourself wrong and actually giving more focus and energy to what you don’t want. You will also build more walls around your heart. Here’s an insight for you…you cannot get rid of belief, you can only outgrow it in consciousness.
Read more about commitment at YourTango.com