Madame on the Street: Is It Okay to Date a Friend’s Ex?

February 5th, 2011 - By madamenoire

Would you ever consider dating your friend’s ex? Would you do it under certain circumstances? See what these New Yorkers had to say about it!

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  • http://thereal-talk.blogspot.com karen hartley

    I don't think I could date my friends ex partner. They mean too much to me and it's not worse the drama that it may bring. Plus I'm pretty sure the dynamics of our friendship would change. My perceptions of her ex boyfriend would be influenced by my friend’s accounts. I know some people have had successful relationships with their friends ex partners….each to their own. I think the most important question is whether the friendship can be maintained if you choose to date their ex?

  • SweetKakes19

    I could not date my friends ex, because I would know what type of relationship they had and I would know how my friend really felt emotionally about that individual, because women love a lot harder then men do. On the other hand I am currently dating my ex's friend and that's because my ex is one of those people that when it's over, he's done so I knew he wouldn't mind if I dated his friend.

  • TongueTied

    This is a question that has been naggin at me for years! If a person is your "Ex" …and I mean truly your Ex ..and your friend possesses the skill and personality to be have more "in common" with him/her than you …would you really begrudge them a chance to be happy? The only people that say "No" tend to be people that hold out some hope of reconcilliation; When I am done with a woman? I am done …if my boy wanna date her later? hey ..maybe HE can make her happy where I ccouldn't …I have moved on and it's cool …I agree he should give me a heads up to alleviate any ackwardness …but other than that? best of luck …I have moved on and I assume so has she …

    This strange "Once I pissed on it, nobody can talk to it ever again" mentallity is at best …selfish! And no one, to date, as been able to explain this mysterious (and unrealistic) "code" …even in here. SMH

  • http://ilovemybm.wordpress.com ilovemybabymama

    All is fair in love and war?? Wow!! Love is hard to find, and apparently. good friends are too. What's the grace period on how long to wait to date your friend's ex?? If my friend is someone I truly, love and respect, there is no way I'm going to date her ex. I would never want to compromise a real friendship just to date and get to know someone she once had a relationship with. There are going to be times I would want to be able to hang out with both my friend, and my guy. Nobody would be comfortable in that situation, if they used to date. They may have some unresolved issues resurface. Who knows? Pride and feelings do complicate things. With that said, if you honestly care about your friend's feelings, why would you date her ex?

    • PrettyPisces

      The grace period varies & depends on the situation. This is not an easy subject for everyone to deal with & compromising a friendship is a big factor. This is my personal opinion: if I was seriously dating a guy for a year & we broke up for whatever reason & 3 years later, my friend wanted to date him it would not be a big deal to me. My only thing is that my friend better tell me she is interested in him before I hear it from someone else. A true friendship is about honesty, if she did not tell me then that lets me know she sees what she is doing as wrong & since she's being deceitful that lets me know our friendship isn't as great as I thought. I don't mean she needs to ask my permission because were all grown here; two consenting adults can do whatever they please. I would like the heads up & the opportunity to expess my feelings on the subject. Now if she was upfront & told me she wanted to date my ex I would be fine. I do not own him. We obviously broke up for a reason, so she can date him at her own risk. Just because I wasn't happy with him doesn't mean she won't be happy with him either.

  • levette

    Don't do it, your friendship is worth more plus there are tons of guys out there instead of getting sloppy seconds

  • I'm just saying

    No! The last thing I need to visualize is my man going down on my girl, or her giving him mad head. Not to mention that she knows his tricks and how he moves and what he likes. And he has seen her naked and been all inside her. No thanks. I don't need that picture. I just have to be honest. Many people can't own up to and and try to deal, but they will always feel self concious when their friend and man being around each other. Plus, it's like a violation of the rule. Now, if it was in middle school or junior high, that was too long ago and was more puppy love.

  • Prissy

    It depends on the situation. If they were SERIOUSLY dating, then of course NOT. But if they had a ONE NIGHT STAND or were just F- buddies…. then go for it.