Couple Explains Their Open Marriage

February 5th, 2011 - By Veronica Wells

In 2006, Carl Stevens came home from work and told his wife of nearly a decade, Kenya, that he’d fallen in love with a co-worker. Although he hadn’t had sex with her, he couldn’t deny his feelings. After a serious discussion about the state of their relationship, Carl suggested that the two consider an open marriage.

Initially Kenya was not  on board with the idea, but after years of consideration, she was actually the first one to have sex outside of their marriage. The couple said the nature of their relationship now has helped them be more open and honest with each other. There is integrity within in their relationship.

Recently they answered the questions many have about their union with Black Voices, including how their parents feel about their lifestyle and what they tell their three children. You can check out their answers here.

What do you think about open marriage? Can it strengthen a bond between couples?

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  • stdsarereal!

    what is the point of getting married if you're going to be open with it? its disgusting and it defames the marriage . its in the bible to keep the marriage free of vile things. and this is one very big vile thing. well i know a man and woman in a open relationship and go and sit up in church every sunday smh guess they're there to scope out more potential hoing partners!

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  • Isaiah Robertson

    This couple isn't crazy, the people that hook up with them are!
    http://www.isaiahtellsdatruth.com

  • Pat

    One word: "AIDS". African-American have the highest rates in this country.

  • KayJ

    i call BS on the whole arrangement. These "partners" are going to want more at some point. Some people love the notion of "new" or being deep and nonconfirming, so any "new" concept that comes along, they eat it right up.

  • JustSaying

    moral issues aside, wtf is the point of being in a relationship to be messing around with other people? you might as well as be single! plus what was that nonsense about being spiritually protected from STD's? there are plenty of spiritual people who have STDs…

  • P3Teacher

    What has happened to our Moral compass? …and we wonder why the the world is going to pot!!! Fulfilling the needs of the flesh is not all that life is about!! Us humans were created to be more complex than that!

  • stellar

    SHUT UP AND LEARN SOMETHING FOLKS! SO WHAT IF YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING YET! DON’T ATTACK BECAUSE YOU DON’T AGREE ..JUST ACCEPT THAT THIS IS NEW TO YOU! THAT DOESN’T MAKE THEM WRONG! In life and love there’s always More to learn …

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  • chéri

    Hmmm… @olivia that’s an interesting perspective. Almost sounds like you’re saying ‘college kids’ are the only ones allowed to explore their sexuality. I’m glad not everyone subscribes to that belief.

    Also, the fact that Carl and Kenya have been honest with each other and have the courage to share their story with the world demonstrates a great deal of maturity (especially with the way they respond to people’s willfull ignorance).

  • olivia

    They obvioiusly got married and began having children way too young and are now trying to live a life that they should have had when they were in their early twenties. There is a certain amount of this behavior that you should have out of your system by the time you decide to settle down and marry.

    Sleeping around is for college kids not full grown adults with parental responsibilities. I feel that there is an underlying maturity (or lack thereof) issue.

    Just my two cents…

    • Ruby

      You're right!

  • Shani B.

    Well said Kia Brown and Nursedred!!

  • http://jujumamablog.com jujumama

    So are you saying that when a mother has her second child, the first child should WAKE UP? Mother can't love two children at the same time, it is humanely impossible? giggle. It's Kenya by the way! Hay! Thanks for reading the article. xoxo

    • hehe

      I can't believe you describe the love of a child to the love and commitment of your husband. Apple and oranges.

      • olivia

        Girl you took the words right outta my mouth. SMH at the comparison of motherhood to an open marriage.

        • married so I get it!

          Apparently – you don't have kids and you aren't married. Love is a choice so if you choose to love more than one person you can. A commitment is between the parties and what they agree to. I don't believe in an open marriage – it gets way too messy! Marriage is work and a responsibility. You have to answer to the jealousy and your partners emotions if you don't or " make them work through it" then you don't love them. I understand the need for an affair the need for the excitement of something new but if my spouse were to get emotionally connected to someone else and the need to want to provide and do for someone else. Why stay together? ooh you got 3 kids. – I get it Kenya but it will eventually destroy your relationship. What happens when your no longer the priority – she ( the other woman/ man) is?

  • nursedred

    Spiritualy protected!? That means hope and pray you don’t get burned but guess what 1/3 of Americans have herpes and thousands of new cases of stds are reported every day that’s not counting those unreported due to private doctors who treat the more affluent. No thanks I’d rather be bored than burning

  • nursedred

    It’s all fun and games til somebody gets herpes or pregnant. I got married to avoid all the stress that comes with promiscuity. If I wanted to use a condom I would have stayed single. thank god my husband feels the same way

  • Prissy

    "god" doesn't rule MY life. Whatever makes these people happy then that is that. They are GROWN adults. They can choose to do whatever they want! Who are we to judge them? Folk make me SICK with their judgmental a$$es.

    • Kia Brown

      Didn't judge, I am not one to judge…as an adult you state an opinion on what is said or written. I dont have to read an ENTIRE article of why cheating/adultery is ok, no matter what pretty WORDS you choose to use "open marriage." Cheating/adultery is never OK in my OPINION…here you go judging me by calling me a hypocrite when I simply stated an opinion and facts. People are grown and apparently there is no NEED to get married if you want to be in EVERYONE'S else face. Right?! I am sorry that God doesn't rule your life. :-( Oh the article asked me what I think and that's what I think.

      And thank you Shani B.

  • kia brown

    I skimmed through this article a bit because I am VERY much against adultery. I seen Carl mentioned “the Christian lifestyle” which I knew would come up….here’s 3 things: God asked you NOT to be caught up in a religion but to believe in Him, God ask man NOT to lust over woman, and He also told us NOT to commit adultery. I guess when you are caught up in worldly things, forget the marriage that took place before God. Just ask for forgiveness….and try to come back to what marriage is supposed to be, not to be shared with the world…meaning you do not share ur wife with the world and nor do you that with ur husband.

    • Prissy

      You 'skimmed' through this article. -__- READ everything before you JUDGE. Because that is what YOU are doing. Now ins't that "ungodly" like? Christians are SUCH hypocrites!