Friends Before Mens? Ways Relationships Ruin Friendships
You’ve probably had several, if not all of your friendships, wax and wane as a result of romantic relationships. Luckily, a good friendship is pretty resilient, but here are 14 ways romantic relationships (yours, or your friends’) have probably ruined the ties between you and some of your friends.
The super needy boyfriend
One of your friends has probably dated that super needy guy—the one who wanted to spend every possible moment with her, and was even offended when she didn’t invite him along somewhere—and you just got so sick of having him around, that you stopped seeing that friend altogether.
The super needy girlfriend
Maybe it was your own friend who was too needy! And always asked if she could bring her guy around, or would even bring him along without asking if that was okay. It seemed impossible to get her alone without him, so you gave them both up.
Becoming second best
Even though you’ve known a friend for years, some women treat their boyfriend of one month like their husband, suddenly putting him before everything else: rushing out early from girl’s night to go be with him, staying home from parties if the guy doesn’t want to come and so on. This can easily make you, the friend, feel like second best because your friend will only see you when it’s absolutely convenient for her relationship.
Too much sex talk
Some women just over-share details about their sex lives when in a relationship! You’re no prude, and you definitely love swapping bedroom tricks. But sometimes, when you haven’t gotten any in months, you just can’t stand hearing about your friend’s amazing sex life one more time.
The constant pity party
Some women, the moment they get into a relationship, are relationship experts. And every time you get around them, they want a full update on your love life, so they can prescribe you advice, tips and guidance, based on their “expert opinion.” And you leave feeling worse than when you arrived.
Five’s a crowd
Some couples will only hang out with other couples. The moment one friend gets into a relationship, suddenly she and her guy have all of these couple friends. Where did they come from?! And hanging out with tha friend inevitably means being a 5th wheel (or a 7th one, or an 11th one…) and you’d rather just stay home.
He’s no good for her
Sometimes your friend just gets into a relationship with a bad guy. Everybody sees it but her. But she is so attached to him now, or so terrified of being alone, that she refuses to see the truth and she does not appreciate you trying to show it to her. So, she shuts you out.
The constant set ups
There’s nothing worse than being constantly set up, and against your will at that. But sometimes your friend gets into a relationship, and she and her guy make it their mission in life to set you up. Every single time you meet them out somewhere, a single friend of the guy’s is “by coincidence” there too. And what was supposed to be your fun, carefree night became a set up. And it won’t stop happening!
The rich boyfriend
So your friend lands herself a filthy rich guy. Good for her! Not good for the friendship. Inevitably, his wealth dictates what they do. He’s not going to go to dive bars when he can afford resort rooftop bars. So hanging out with them either means spending way more money than you can afford, or feeling insecure as the guy pays for everything. So you just don’t hang out with them.
The rich boyfriend part II
It’s a little tough to maintain a friendship when your friend is whisked away on a vacation every single weekend. Good for her that she’s found a guy who’d like to fund all of these trips, but not good for your friendship.
The guy who changes your friend
Some men are just looking for a woman they can mold into their perfect wifey. And your once super fun, close friend—now that she is in a relationship—suddenly “isn’t really into partying” or “likes to go to sleep early” or “attends church services nightly.” And you’re like….since when??
The depressed boyfriend
Women love to fix men. And eventually, one of your friends finds herself an adorable but broken man; a man who is down on himself, doesn’t believe in himself, doesn’t want to socialize because he thinks people don’t like him and so on and so forth. Before you know it, your friend can never come out because her boyfriend is “having a rough night” and she needs to be with him. But he has rough nights every night.
The private boyfriend
This is really just another term for controlling boyfriend. One of your friends will date a man who tells her he’d rather she not discuss their relationship with other people—that what happens between a man and a woman should stay there and their relationship is nobody else’s business. He usually says this because he knows the relationship is unhealthy, and if the woman’s friends heard the details, they’d tell her to leave the guy! Either way, your friend stops opening up to you because she’s not allowed to.
The party guy
Maybe because she wants to relive her youth or is super-stressed at work, your friend starts dating a guy who parties hard every night. This turns her into a major flake because she’s cancelling on you all of the time due to her hangovers. That is if she even wakes up before 4 pm to tell you she is cancelling, or if she hasn’t lost her phone in a cab for the 10th time that month.