My parents probably laugh at what we call relationship problems today, but the truth is social media has created more reasons for couples to over-analyze and obsess and create even more insecurities.
As I was scrolling through my Instagram activity the other night I couldn’t help but notice that radio personality Big Tigger had liked a video with two women looking like they were about to showcase their skills on a sex toy. It looked rated XXX so I didn’t even bother playing it, but I instantly thought, “Damn, isn’t he dating Keshia Knight-Pulliam?” Now I’m not saying that man can’t like a girl’s picture without being attracted to her, and it’s far from cheating, but I can’t help but feeling like your partner’s social media behavior in many ways is a reflection of you.
This isn’t the first time Big Tigger has double tapped on pictures of KING-cover wannabes bent over displaying their behinds and/or breasts as the best part of their anatomy. But in the next instant he’s posting photos of the new kicks he’s bought for Keshia. I don’t know about other women but I’d be bothered if my man’s social media consisted primarily of pictures of parading unclothed women and girls twerking and swinging on poles. A man’s going to be a man, but can he do so a little more privately?
Maybe it’s not that serious. I’ve clicked on plenty of pics of French bulldogs dressed in bow ties and Angela Simmon’s shoes without putting a whole lot thought into making that gray heart red. That’s the thing about Instagram that I think cheapens it as a communication tool: It doesn’t require much thought or energy. It doesn’t actually reflect what’s truly important to anyone. I mean at least Twitter forces you to be clever in 140 characters. Instagram unites the best of both worlds for those without much to contribute to social media or otherwise: It allows people to sit in look pretty for those who are limited to visual stimulation. Does that make me love it any less? No, but let’s be honest, Instagram is not the place to form the deepest connections.
With that said, I’m not encouraging girlfriends everywhere to clock their man’s Instagram behavior, but I‘m also reminding people about yet another way social media seriously can impact your reputation and the people you actually have authentic, real-life relationships with. Don’t blame Twitter or Instagram for an already unhealthy relationship either. What social media does have the potential to do is weaken an already unstable bond. If you have a man who truly respects you, he’ll do so whether it’s in person or on his online profile.
Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.
