Serious Question: Were Geneva And Demetria Insensitive To Mica’s Pain On Last Night’s “Blood Sweat And Heels”?

February 10, 2014  |  


Based on the past episodes that I’ve watched of Blood, Sweat and Heels, I have never really been very fond of Mica Hughes and how she often presents herself on the show. From time to time, she can have a very colorful sense of humor that I can appreciate, but a majority of the time, she is THE most. And yes, her drinking can be hard to overlook when it elevates her already extroverted personality to another level, and it’s something she does need to slow down on. However, last night was the first time that I’ve ever watched the show and walked away feeling really sad for her.

If you watched Sunday’s episode of Blood, Sweat and Heels, you probably know that soon after saying goodbye to the father she had a tepid relationship with for a majority of her life, something that brought her much pain that she tried to hide, Mica decided to go to the Hamptons to drink her problems away with her “friends,” rather than stay at home with her boyfriend and address her grief head-on. That was a huge mistake.

By the time she got to Brie’s family’s home, she had already downed a full bottle of wine in the car and was teetering on her heels. There was nothing humorous about Mica during these moments, as I was just scared that she was going to either fall into the family pool or fall on her face. She was loud and over-the-top, and was doing everything in her power to act like things were okay (and she wouldn’t discuss her father’s death, though everyone was aware that he was dying). When she finally sat down, she was confronted by Geneva, Demetria and Brie about being late and not letting anyone know what was going on, because they were hungry and were waiting on her to go out to eat. Mica, in her drunkenness, didn’t appreciate this, and as she got loud and belligerant, Demetria and Geneva left her where she sat to go touch up their makeup, and that’s when she became untethered.

Mica said that they didn’t care about everything she was going through and blamed Brie for not defending her against them. Demetria’s man, Greg, actually was one of the lone people to try and calm her down and talk to her straight-up (not like a parent yelling at the child they caught inebriated), but things turned left again. Geneva wanted to go eat and was done with the dramatics, and when Mica got upset and got ready to leave, Geneva shouted “Detox, dear. Detox!” This caused Mica to walk back to go at it with Geneva (which is when that Wesley Snipes comment occurred), who kept telling her that she needed to detox. Though they were both acting the donkey, Demetria ran out yelling “Are you crazy!?” telling Mica she needed to leave because she was behaving erratically at Brie’s family home (though Mica knows her family). After Mica tried to storm in the house to confront Geneva again (and everyone ran out the opposite exit), she wound up balling over everything she was feeling about her father and the way she felt she was being treated. During this meltdown, Greg and Brie were able to put her in a cab and get her out of town. As the episode went on after that unfortunate episode, Brie was peeved and stopped talking to Mica, as did Geneva and Demetria.

What I took away from this episode was the reality that on all these “reality” shows, these ladies are NOT really friends. The way they dog one another in confessionals should make that obvious to everyone. And on this show in particular, they’re not fooling anybody. Mica needed to be with friends and family during that time, and instead, she was with folks who were more concerned about protecting their Louboutins and getting dinner than they were getting her together. A real friend would have stopped trying to argue and throw jabs at a drunk woman and would have sat her down, got her a cup of coffee and tried to talk with her about what’s going on (or at least put her in the bed). A real friend wouldn’t have worried so much about being hungry that they ignore an obvious cry for help. The women on this show are so hellbent on diagnosing Mica, but the reality is, most of them really don’t care to help her. Especially not when before and after she arrived, they all sat around her with a glass of wine talking about why she needs rehab and Jesus (“I’ma pray for you. Namaste. Namaste” – Demetria). If they did care, they wouldn’t have left her alone with Brie like she was a leper so that they could laugh and shake their head from afar. And considering that everyone knew she was dealing with a dying father, they could have been a little bit more sensitive in how they treated her. I’m not trying to condone Mica’s behavior in any way, but we all just need to watch how we talk to and treat people in pain. While losing your father might not be an excuse to drink your sorrows away and then in turn, act out of pocket at someone else’s home, being hungry or tired of someone else’s dramatics is not a good excuse to treat a hurt person you know like garbage that you’re too good to deal with or help. But that’s just my opinion. What do you think?

What did you think of last night’s episode, Mica’s behavior, and the way the ladies treated her?

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  • chi-lady

    I know I’m two months late but I had to weigh in. Mica used her dad as an excuse. She behaves the same way all the time. Friend or no friend, anyone would get tired of a person who constantly says and does inappropriate stuff anytime and anywhere. I don’t think alcohol is the problem. I think she is use to being around people who condone that kind of behavior. People like Melyssa and Daisy.

  • Kelly

    I was kinda excited to watch a reality show that I could identify with. After the first episode I realized non of these women were like myself or any of my besties. I thought just based off looks I would identify most with Demetria. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Demetria is my least favorite. At first she seemed so together and intelligent. She comes across as judgmental and sits on a high horse. I think she is insecure and needs a therapist. Though the “Louds” (with the exception of Daisy) are nothing like me I would much rather hang with them. I would never associate myself with the three ladies from the “Prouds”. These ladies are a big disappointment. It’s a shame that they don’t even realize their flaws.

  • Basha

    Geneva looks like an egg shaped version of Wesley Snipes and Demetria has the body of a holiday ham.

  • Mimi

    Unfortunately, I have had friends whose parents have passed. I admired their grace and courage when faced with this unbelievable tragedy. I cannot imagine how I will act when I am faced with this, but I will remember their example and will try my hardest to live up to it.

    I’m sorry, but bad things happen. How you respond to them is what makes you. Her father’s death was no excuse for her behavior, and Demetria, Geneveve and Brie were not being unreasonable or stuck up in their reaction to her craziness. Especially given that Mica acts like this all the time.

  • Guest11

    Look for them to be “Not” an item. I do not believe that marriage will ever take place!!

  • whylie2010

    Agreed with all of this

  • liz

    Mica was grieving..have you watched the show? She was devastated once again that her father pushed her away once again..and this was her last chance for her to see he loved her. Obviously you’ve never dealt with rejection from your own dad.

    • Jenika Wyatt

      Thank you for speaking the truth. People think just because she didn’t have a CLOSE relationship with her dad she shouldn’t feel nothing.Damn if that’s the case the girl got a heart to have any emotions toward the man. Them girls were point blank. Mica actions were not right, but for you to hold on to a grudge and that’s your friend then I rather be a alcoholic than a heart less person.

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  • MatureBlackWoman

    Like many of the comments below, I must admit to being ambivalent about this also. Yes, they could have handled her in a kinder manner, however, even with good friends, you can get very sick and tired of this kind of behavior. Remember, with every drunken episode, she has never apologized, admitted a drinking problem, or discussed how her actions affected them. When you continue to drink your way through life, people lose sympathy for you, and sadly in this case, they lost sympathy at the time that she needed it the most.

    Yes, they could have been more helpful, but did you get the impression that she would have let them? Also, these shows are edited to make them look as bad as they can. Who knows what we did not see? For them to be so harsh and insulting to her seemed to me to be the end of a long time of trying to help with no cooperation. This does not indicate to me that they are not her friends. However, it is hard to stay friends with someone who doesn’t seem to care about your feelings either. Yes, it was on them to be there for her with her father’s illness, however, she shut them out of that, was loud, arrogant, and too stubborn to be dealt with at that time. Even when she recounted the story the next day, she put herself in the best possible light, and left out anything that she contributed to the mess.

    Those of us with alcoholic friends and family deeply care for them, but have all been in the place where we cannot help them. They strongly resist us, deny any problem, and cause a great deal of pain and embarrassment to those around them. Even if the “rehab” comment was very unkind, it was accurate. No one that enables her is doing her a favor.

  • LoSki87

    Anyone who has lost a parent can understand
    Mica’s behavior. While it was irrational and inappropriate, it was
    understandable. She just found out her father passed, she’s upset, and
    grieving. Now to those who have never lost a loved one, better yet a parent it
    may be hard to understand why Mica said nothing about it. Mica is in her first
    stage of grief, denial. Rather than accepting the situation she self medicated
    with alcohol and thought being in the company of “friends” would make
    her forget her loss momentarily and she would feel better. While to them Mica
    seemed like her normal drunken self, she was crumbling on the inside which was
    very evident with her melt down. These women knew Mica’s father was TERMINALLY
    ILL, (not just ill and maybe he will get better, no TERMINALLY meaning he is
    dying and will likely not recover). They didn’t treat Mica with care, nor were
    they sensitive to her. I don’t blame Demetria for excusing herself, rather than
    antagonizing the situation she chose to remove herself from it. Geneva however
    antagonized Mica, yelling detox across the way while Mica is on her way to the
    cab served no purpose other than for Geneva to feel big and bad and to have the
    last say in the matter. Once Geneva did that Mica’s cup had runneth over and
    now was on 20. Brie rather than comforting her about the loss of her father,
    she continued to make the situation about her and chastised Mica about saying
    she wasn’t a friend to her. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! lol she just told her, her
    father had passed and all she can really talk about is herself? Mica is
    annoying at times, she is over the top and that is her personality, it is
    magnified w/ alcohol. Brie knows this yet still invited her to her “quiet,
    prestigious bungalow” for what? People should find just as much fault with
    Geneva as they do with Mica. It’s called pick and choose your battles, and don’t
    try and rationalize with a drunken person. Either diffuse the situation, or
    stay out of it.

  • sweetnece

    I think they would’ve been more compassionate had Mica just talked to them when they asked. That would’ve changed thw whole tone of the day. She was drunk and all defensive because Brie asked her to quiet down. She was extremely late, people have been waiting around for HOURS, they were hungry. They all tried to talk to her about her situation but she said she didn’t want to talk about it. Mica is a grown woman and has to be responsible for her own actions. She has acted a fool in public so many times and I feel that the girls had every right to feel what they felt. Mica knew she was emotional and hurting and should’ve considered that before going. I wouldn’t want to be a debbie Downer and put a damper on eveyone else’s weekend.

  • Bella

    I do not totally agree with you…. First you can’t argue with a drunk person. I do agree that more compassion should have been shown, but at Mica’s age she should bear responsibility for her own actions. I am often the one picking up my friends and the occasional stranger and putting them to bed, into a cab etc. She did not tell anyone until post explosion her father died. A sorry I am late, issues with my father would have stopped the entire scene. But as we have scene in previous episodes Mica is dysfunctional and that would have been logical. Also bear in mind the last time they saw her was at the party where Mica acted unprofessionally and embarrassing. So I felt that prior resentment went in this scene. I do feel like Mica needed to lash out at was an emotional explosion waiting to happen. These women are her co-workers not her friends and friends is who she should have been with.

  • guestdfw

    Hurt people, hurt people. Stop SAYING you are a Christian, BE compassionate. It’s all in the actions and they did not act in a compassionate way. They knew she was trying to hide her grief.

  • Britt

    It does matter. If Mica were a true friend to Geneva, she wouldn’t have been out of control, drunk and disrespectful at Geneva’s WORK event. Yes, they knew her father was dying but Demetria, Brie and Geneva are not mind readers or doctors so they didn’t know Mica’s father died until she told them which was AFTER she tried to ambush Brie’s home. After a loss like that, Mica should NOT have been in the Hamptons. She should have stayed in the DC area or went home. Mica’s behavior was uncalled for. You don’t disrespect people’s homes like that, friends or not. If you see someone drunk all the time, you’re not thinking that they just suffered a loss, you’re thinking they’re just doing what they always do.

  • Almond. E. Brown

    “Husky behind..” made me holler. LOL!

  • Almond. E. Brown

    Listen! Can I cosign that last paragraph again and again?! I don’t suffer fools well either but, yeah, being overtly mean to a grieving person because they are annoying you doesn’t speak well of your character either.

    But, eh, anything for teevee, right?!

  • Jan

    honestly , all of them were wrong. Poor mica, i can’t imagine losing my father. prayers to her family. Mica shouldve just stayed at home or around family, at least they would understand. Did demetria and geneva know about her father? I only recall seeing her tell daisy and melissa. let’s keep it real here, Mica has a drinking problem. We aren’t even five episodes in , ad we have seen her drunk at least three times. She needs help, and it was a bit crude to yell detox and rag on her drinking. im neutral, because i can see all three women couldve did better.

  • Bklyn Diamond

    I feel for Mica as losing a parent is rough enough, then to add the condition of their relationship, it becomes an emotional roller coaster.

    That said, Mica has shown bad judgement when drinking previously so when she showed up “late” (don’t know how late she really was) and drunk (she drank an entire bottle of wine then went to her cousin’s to drink more) I can understand the women being at their wits end and not wanting to deal with “Drunk Mica” again. At that time they didn’t know about her father dying.

    And while Mica may have wanted to not deal with the emotions she was going through, self medicating through alcohol only heightens the situation where no one else knows what is going on. She would have been better off staying home and dealing with it with the support of her partner and close friends.

    I cannot blame the women for how they acted upon her arrival and unfortunately when the rest of the story came out the situation was already heightened and feelings set.

  • Kansasfangirl

    So very sad here. As many have said “if” they were friends and not ones that we are supposed to believe are “girls” this wouldn’t have happened, period point blank. I can’t tell you how many times my friends have called and have needed me to see beyond their pain and just listen as they needed a shoulder. Mica needed a shoulder and it appears that everyone else was more concerned with their “brand” of being mean an uncaring than a friend it’s sad. Originally I thought yes a black version of my favorite show Sex and the City but let’s be real, not Carrie nor Samantha or Charolette or Miranda would ever be so cruel.

  • Topaz Blair-Baker

    I feel bad for Mica…. but she was out of line from the word go. If she was upset and suffering then why did she stop by her cousin’s house to polish off some wine with her on TOP of the bottle she drank in the car on the way to Brie’s house. Stumpling up that drunk while her girlfriends were waiting for her is the first — hell– maybe it was already the THIRD of her many missteps in the whole debacle. I have evenMORE respect for Demetria for quickly removing her self from the situation, and inviting Geneva to joinher. I thought it was thesmart, andpolite thing to do. Shecouldhave stayed behind and tore Mica down with her obvious wit and intellect, but insteadshe knew that her personality typewould likely make things worse. So Demetria and Geneva left Brie and Demetria’s man behind to talk Mica down so they could all go to dinneras planned. Mica was a hot mess and was insulted that they leftinstead of putting upwith her extreme inebreation. Now IloveDemetria, Geneva, and Brie.
    NOW the show can have segments with Diaisy, Mica and former rap video star for my fastfowarding enjoyment, and Brie, Geneva, and Brie for my VIEWING enjoyment. Thank you for making it sosimplefor me, BRAVO, never before was it so easy to watch one of your shows by keeping the women I can’t stand in different segments so I can still watch a show inspiteof having people I reallyenjoy seperatefrom women I can NOT stand.

  • anon

    I’m so saddened by how they treated her. I hope Demetria and Geneva can grow from this and never treat any other person so coldly. Wow..

  • Allyce

    Yes. Demetria and Geneva were wrong to harp on Mica’s lateness.

  • provokethought

    Geneva and Demetria were a bit much and over the top.

  • Let’s be honest

    Completely agree !!!!!! I love Mica everyone deals with the loss in their family differently i’m close to both my parents and personally I know I would go crazy

  • imo2013

    Having the pretense that any of these women are friends, is in a sense the wrong way to look at any of the “reality” shows. These women may have known each other in passing, but are definitely NOT friends. Clearly a friend would have been with her, held her up and down when she was clearly going thru it. She wasnt in the right, but those other women were definitely in the WRONG.

  • valerie8stx

    I know Mica was all over the place, but I was disgusted with Demetria and Geneva’s behavior last night. Until you’ve lost a parent you really don’t know what you’ll do or how you’ll react. Both just aggravated the situation, sitting so high on their pedestals, looking down at pretty much everyone who is not worthy of their presence.

  • guest

    Demetria is nothing like she portrays herself to be on blogs..books..etc..she is a very mean spirited person..Geneva knows she ugly on the inside and out and that’s why she acts the way she does. Mica needs counseling. Can’t they see the how her father treated her has eaten her up?? I like her. Melissa..still a nice woman..I didn’t like how Sheryl Wesley Underwood tried to talk about her financial situation..While Sheryl Wesley was growing up, Melyssa was making major money in entertainment..Daisy is a go getter and seems like a fun person to be around.

  • newgirl

    I don’t think any of the ladies on reality shows are true friends but more like coworkers. That Brie came off very uptight with her telling Greg don’t touch that and even telling Demetria not to take off her shoes so Mica was going to get it automatically even if she wasn’t drunk!

  • You hit the nail on the head. Mica’s behavior makes for great television but a bad lifestyle – I’ll give them that – but I don’t ever think it’s okay to mistreat people because they don’t behave in a manner that you don’t approve of. Brie’s ideas about an intervention were a much better approach and I appreciated the comfort that Greg and Brie offered Mica. Friend or not, it’s not okay to yell at and make fun of a person clearly suffering from issues just because you want to go to dinner. Also Mica didn’t walk in aggressive, she walked in drunk and when they attacked her for being late she got aggressive. What did they expect?

  • Gott Ryce

    Well said. I agree. No one needs to be kicked when they are down. if they looked at her, they would’ve seen that she was in pain.

  • TT

    they waited for Mica for hours to go to dinner, she didn’t text or call anyone…the drive from Brooklyn to the sag harbor/hamptons can be 2 and a 1/2…3 hours with traffic which im sure there was since it was memorial day weekend plus hours of waiting for mica you’re looking at least 5 hours of not eating….Mica was already on thin ice after acting like a drunk fool at Geneva’s work party so now couple that with hunger, you’ve seen those snickers commercials….the ladies did not know mica’s dad died since she had not contacted them so when she came in a quiet bousie neighborhood, all loud and ratchet, coming in giving no fks after having people wait for hours, of course they were going to be upset at her…I was on their side for that however I disagree with the whole colorism issue

    • Jenika Wyatt

      Damn this world is so cold. Girl I know it’s your opinion but I can’t believe how nobody cares about a life. Wow because she didn’t want to talk to a bunch of heartless women. Wow a life was lost and a daughter felt unloved for years. But it’s ok because women were hungry. Lmfao


    I’m not sure how to feel on this one, as far as how the altercation started. I do recall them offering an ear of support and Mica said she didn’t want to talk about it, and just “be normal”. So they took to normal conversation. When Mica arrived she was very snarky with Brie, when asked to lower her voice out of respect for her parents and their guests. So the late comment setting things off was a little ridiculous to me. What I will say is that after it had been revealed that her father passed, the girls were very mean and cold hearted. Nobody offered a hug, a prayer, words of encouragement, I don’t even think they acknowleged what they had just heard. That made my stomach turn. It was vile and ruthless and shredded all respect I had for these women.At the very least they could have displayed some form of empathy. Brie’s comment about the no emotional attachment made me angry. It was tasteless and just plain mean. I can still both sides having valid points though (as far as Mica’s behavior). I can say that if I were Mica, I would definately be crossing 3 names off of my friends list.

  • currvalicious

    I respected Demetria as a journalist w/Essence magazine, however this show isn’t a good look for her at all. Geneva, I don’t like her personality at all, even before this episode. I can not say whether or not she favors Wesley Snipes in Too Wong Foo, however I can see why she (Mica) went there w/the comparison. They both were a bit harsh on Mica, taunting her (particularly Geneva). Deal w/her when she’s sober & she can represent herself w/her full capacities functioning. In terms of both Geneva & Demetria being angry that Mica was late for dinner, they both can stand to miss a meal or two.

    • Just my opinion…

      I agree with you about Demetria (with respect to her journalism career, not the comment about being able to miss a meal, which was just mean : I read her column on The Root, but seeing her on the show has made me question her character a bit because she comes off as sanctimonious, arrogant and unkind which runs counter to being an advice columnist. I wonder if other readers feel the same way. I think she wrote an article about her decision to be in the show, but I won’t bother to read it. I would love to know if all of the ladies believe it was worth it to be on the show.

  • Britt

    I feel bad that Mica lost her father. Regardless of the fact that their relationship wasn’t the best, that’s still her father. However, Mica didn’t tell them that her father died until AFTER she behaved belligerently and tried to run up in Brie’s house. When it comes to Geneva, she wasn’t really feeling Mica after the way she and Melyssa behaved at her WORK event. Mica is a business owner and entrepreneur and should know how to conduct herself better than that. The fact of the matter is, Mica shouldn’t have been in the Hamptons after her father died. She should have stayed in DC/Maryland or went home to Harlem.

    If this was the first time they had seen that way, I think there would have been more compassion. Also, notice how Mica didn’t mention how she tried to run in Brie’s house when she was talking to Melyssa and Daisy.

    • guest

      Exactly! Mica should have stayed home. She was totally out of control trying to bust into Brie’s parents house. I was done with her on the first episode tbh

  • Deevs

    I totally agree and i was completely disgusted by Brie saying she didnt have a good relationship with her father so where did all this emotion come from? that was the most disgusting comment i felt so bad for Mica because I could tell she was going through it meantile Demetria and Geneva the two most judgemental donkies i’ve ever seen weremore concerned with being hungry its disgusting they didnt even call her to check and see if she was ok on the way up.. its sat that Demetria’s boyfriend stood up and tried to talk to her and they wouldn’t it was very sad to watch they should be ashamed of themselves.

  • KK

    Bottom line she should not have been out there…and if she felt offended by what the ladies were saying she should have just left and went back to her cousins house. Drunk or not most people can tell when they are not wanted, but to be yelling and trying to tear up somebody’s parents house is totally uncalled for. I know what it is like to lose your father I sought comfort with my family not the bottom of a bottle.

    • mikki21

      I think you kind of lost the message of the whole article. These women treated this woman like garbage, but they keep saying they are “friends”. I have never treated my friends like this when they are out of line and out of pocket. My love for them would not allow me to do that. And I am not sure if you ever had to deal with such pain as loosing a parent that you aready have a strained relationship with, but it is hard there is a lot going on inside of you and all you want to do is try to stay normal, but you just can’t human emotions won’t allow it. We can sit here and say she should have done this and that. But she probably done what is a learned behavior and thats mask the situation. Mica puts up a front of her pain and it is catching up to her. A real friend would not have done what they did. It jsut looks disgusting, but I guess when you have no emotional attachmetn to someone I guess their feelings aren’t important, right?

    • Jay Lane

      First off, everyone grieves differently and has different family dynamics so you can’t use your experience as a template for what everyone else should or shouldn’t do. Mica clearly has an issue; that’s clear. What’s also clear is that she’s not the only one. There are plenty rehabs around to address Mica’s problem but I couldn’t even begin to tell Demetria & Co. where they could find a heart (or a brain for that matter). The Wizard of Oz??

  • honeypa72

    OMG!!!! My daughter and I were having the same discussion last night! You said everything I was trying to convey to her. Throwing insults and acting judgmental, high and mighty was not what was needed last night. A “Real” friend would have just reached out and tried to love her in spite of her drunken, loud, and obnoxious behavior. Mica was absolutely wrong, but who reasons and argues with a drunk person? I think Demetria and Geneva are self-righteous, judgmental, arrogant know-it-alls. At least Greg tried to talk calmly to her, and it seemed to work until Demetria couldn’t stand her man being over there anymore! Just saying…

    • ericamissamerica

      You hit the nail on the head. Yes, Mica was inappropriate, but she was in pain. Wesley was still mad about her party and Demetria was salty about her man having a breakthrough with Mica LOL. I guess the relationship guru does have some insecurities after all. (which I knew already)

  • paige

    i feel bad for mica, i really do. i think it’s just hard to overlook someone bad behavior and drunkedness in their time of pain when they act that way all the time. almost every episode mica is slurring her words, or showing her “cookie”, or being obnoxious and loud. if this was her first time acting this way, i believe she should get a pass. but no.

    • FamuRattler85


  • Lexi

    Totally agree!