Fantasia Talks No More Bad Loving
Welcome to our new column, Reset. Written by Karen Taylor Bass, this column, published each Tuesday, is about life lessons learned and mastered mentally, spiritually, and physically and how they contribute to a successful life and career.
I heart Fantasia. She is everything you want a bestie to be: fun, real, confident, honest and soulful. Fantasia is on the cusp of turning 30 and has had her share of the good, the bad, and the challenging. Teenage pregnancy, overcoming illiteracy, financial woes, man troubles… And yet she has ushered in a rebirth and is winning. Fantasia reminded me during a conversation we that she has been in this game for 11 years, five months and counting.
Her fourth studio album, “Side Effects of You” (19 Recordings/RCA), debuted at No. 1 on Billboard‘s Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums chart and No. 2 on the Billboard 200 in 2013. She just wrapped a star turn in “After Midnight,” the hit song-and-dance revue that catapults the greatest music of Duke Ellington and Harlem’s Golden Age into the 21st century and onto the Broadway stage. Next stop for Fantasia is touring and bringing her musical ministry to sold-out audiences.
I had the pleasure of chatting with Fantasia at an “After Midnight” event sponsored by nationally syndicated, Café Mocha Radio. Fantasia was open about the challenges of finding true love and how she pressed RESET.
MadameNoire: Congratulations on “After Midnight.” How has it been in NYC?
Fantasia Barrino: Thank you. I love the energy and vibe of New York City. I’ve been in the city for several months and have grown so much. Being here has freed me – given me the gift of reviewing my pattern as it relates to love, life and family.
MN: What was the lesson you kept repeating?
FB: Love. I am a woman… a passionate Cancer woman and love to be in love. I’ve given [too much], been emotional and made mistakes because that’s what I knew and saw growing up. Yes, loving is generational. You learn how to love from what you’ve seen and experienced in childhood.
MN: Define being a “brand” mom?
FB: Motherhood comes first. I make time for what matters – family. My priority is God, self, children, career, so forth, and family. My career is not traditional, therefore I take motherhood in stride just like every mom. I nurture, love, attend activities and have a strong team to help when on the road. There are times when I have to attend a parent conference via teleconference — teachers, me and [my] mom and we make it happen. Also, if I have one day off from the play I am back at home to enjoy my babies.
MN: How did you press RESET?
FB: The amazing and blessed opportunity to spend five months in New York to perform in “After Midnight” on Broadway changed my life. I had to walk in faith, trust myself and grow up. Living in New York gave me the opportunity to break a pattern. Love. I’ve learned that how we love is generational. Yes, I too loved in fear like my grandmother, mother, aunties, and had to break the pattern. Loving like a broke woman and not loving on strength and power. I pressed RESET and saw what I kept repeating and said no more. Been broke and fought my way back. I am a fighter and most importantly, child of God. My next relationship will be well thought out. I am on a journey.
Fantasia’s RESET: “I am blessed and finally taking the time to honor it. Yes. Struggles will come, however accepting my journey, realizing that I’m not perfect, and using my music/voice as a ministry of healing and being still is how I learned to embrace, break the pattern of generations of bad loving in my family. I now know that I am worthy and deserve to have it. Yes, this is ordained.”