He Say, She Say: Is Beyonce A Poor Excuse For A Wife?

January 31, 2014  |  

She Say

By Lauren R.D. Fox

New York Post journalist Naomi Schaefer Riley isn’t the only woman outraged at Bey and Jay’s Grammy number. Charlotte Hayes, author of “When Did White Trash Become The New Normal?,” wrote a post in agreement, which stated:

“It wasn’t surprising to see Jay Z, looking pleased at his wife’s hyper-sexualized exhibition on stage. He’s made a living singing lyrics that call women ‘b*tches’ and ‘h*s,’ so we shouldn’t be surprised that he objectified his own wife on stage.”

Echoing a similar sentiment, Riley argued her husband Jay Z “cheaply” put a ring on it so he doesn’t have to be thoroughly invested in her — only when she is being bootylicious. The source of her accusation comes from sociologist,Mark Regnerus of University Of Texas- Austin. Regnerus believes “women get contraception and the ability to limit and space their children, and the chance to fashion careers — things that sound good and are often experienced as such — and in return men get to decide just how invested in a relationship they actually have to be.”

Though these claims are relative, do we really have to make the jump from a sexually charged performance to accusations of a man pimping out his wife and her failing to fulfill her wifely duties, which we know nothing about?

As a 20-something first generation Caribbean woman, I would immediately say without hesitation, “no.” Granted, I’m in the stage of my life where I live for wild nights and twisting up my waist line, but it becomes tiring to hear women narrow the definition of “wife.” Even more disturbing to me, women continue to make behavioral rules that every wife must follow, while simultaneously claiming to want to eliminate the status quo which does the same. Based on my experiences with men, the key element of this debate is not what example these two set but what discussion they’ve had about their sexuality and how they have decided to display it in public. Yes, there is a time and place for everything. No woman should drop it low or clap her backside at her husband’s award ceremony or office party but on date night, why not? Some claim dancing in such a manner is disrespectful to a husband because other men may watch and enjoy what they see, but if Jay Z’s not mad, why are we. Plus, as I’ve observed, most men like when they have the woman everyone else wants but can’t have.

The sexual secrecy some feminists want women to be sworn into is bizarre, especially for women who have children. To behave like a nun in order to appease those who struggle with how they distance themselves from or embrace sex only serves a disservice to how a romantic relationship develops. Twerking in front of her husband does not make Beyonce a sorry excuse of a wife, but these attacks on her and Jay Z’s character certainly make for poor excuses of men and women.

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