7 Questions To Ask Before You Move In With Your Boyfriend
According to results from a recent GfK Roper poll, more than 80% of divorced Americans still believe in marriage, but we all know more than half of marriages don’t make it, for various reasons.
Cupid, the ancient Roman god of love, was blind. In mythology, he’s been represented as a cherub, a perpetual baby, (someone without wisdom or judgment) who flies around zapping people with his arrows. This is a great metaphor for the sensation of falling in love instantly, otherwise known as limerance, lust or blind love. Unfortunately, lust doesn’t last, and love isn’t blind forever.
Creating a successful relationship takes a lot more than believing in Cupid, love, marriage or romance. Instead of blundering blindly through the stages of commitment, you can begin building the solid basis your relationship needs by asking yourself some questions. Here are some to consider before moving in together or making emotional and financial commitments:
1. What is your definition of commitment?
Whether you know it or not, you and your partner are continuously defining your relationship. If you don’t know what your relationship means to each of you, you risk repeating past mistakes, getting stuck in uncomfortable roles, or fighting about what a healthy relationship is. Talk about what you mean by words such as relationship, commitment, love, and faithfulness. You’ll be amazed by what you learn.
2. Have you discussed finances?
Next to sex, money is the biggest generator of problems, arguments, and resentment in long-term relationships. Couples tend to assume that money should be pooled, but it usually isn’t that easy. A disparity in income can mean struggling about who pays for what, or whose income determines your lifestyle. Different financial habits (one likes to save, the other spends more, or doesn’t keep track) can become a source of argument. For many couples, separating the money makes things run smoother; you don’t wind up struggling for control. You can split expenses evenly, or work out a percentage share if your incomes are different. Whatever you do, learn to talk about money in a businesslike manner.
Read more about love and commitment on YourTango.com