14 Things You Should Never Do At His Place
Get up at 5 am
You might usually get up at 5 am to go to Spinlates before work, but on nights you sleep at your guy’s place, you need to give that up. Nobody appreciates being woken up by a 5 am alarm, and being kept awake while another person showers and opens and closes drawers when they didn’t have to get up until 8.
Skype with your BFF
If you have a Skype session scheduled with your best friend who lives across the world and who you haven’t spoken to in months, don’t take that session at your boyfriend’s place. You know those sessions go on for at least an hour, and that leaves your boyfriend having to keep quiet in his own home, and listening to your friend’s stories that he didn’t ask to hear.
Phone calls with your therapist
If you have the type of relationship with your therapist that lets you call him or her whenever you feel the need, don’t do that at your boyfriend’s place. He feels like a jerk if he doesn’t ask you after, “So what was that phone call about? What did you guys work out?” but at the same time, he really doesn’t want to ask.
Fight with your mom on the phone
If you predict a blowup with your mom, don’t call her at your boyfriend’s place. You know when tensions have been high between you two and you fight every time you talk, so don’t risk it. Your boyfriend and possibly his housemates don’t need to hear you screaming at your mother, and then awkwardly navigate around you as you cry about it after.
Pre-drink with your friends
So you and your girlfriends are having a girls’ night at a bar in walking distance from your guy’s place. Makes perfect sense to invite them there for pre-drinks, right? WRONG! Don’t subject your guy to five women talking about their sex lives and beauty routines and getting progressively louder with each shot in his home.
Empty the dishwasher
Or fold all his laundry or clean the floors or wash all the dishes. For the first few seconds of realizing this, your guy thinks, “Great! One less chore I have to do.” But he spends the rest of the week thinking, “She’s trying really hard. Too hard…”
Do your workout video
You might think he’ll get turned on by you doing leg kicks in your Spandex, but he’s actually embarrassed that you’ve taken over the living room and his housemates can’t watch the game. Even if he lives alone, a neighbor could look in the window and just think he’s whipped.
Receive your online shopping packages
It doesn’t matter that you spend every night at your guy’s place: you still have your own address for a reason. If you start getting your pretty packages from shoe companies and dress companies to his front door, it looks like you think that’s your home too.
Try on your new clothes
If you bought new lingerie or a seriously sexy dress, sure your guy wants to see it on you immediately. But he doesn’t get the same joy you do out of watching you try on a new “cute cardigan” or leggings with “fun prints” as you do.
Cook an elaborate dinner
It’s very generous that you want to cook your boyfriend dinner. But he will have a small panic attack if he finds his kitchen covered in truffle oil and appliances he’s never heard of. He’ll feel like he got married, when he didn’t.
Sleep all day
You don’t need to pop up at the crack of dawn just because he does, but if you like to sleep all day on a Sunday, go do that at your own place. Your guy doesn’t want to tiptoe around his own home all day because somebody’s sleeping in there. Not to mention, what if he just wants to watch a movie in his own bed?
Sometimes you’re going to have to shower at your guy’s place. But try to get a handle on your hair removal in your own shower. It’s a messy business: hair gets in the drain and hairy razors go in the trashcan. You can’t do that to your guy’s bathroom.
Go to the bathroom with the door open
It doesn’t matter if you’re having the most important conversation of your life: pause it and close the door to go to the bathroom. We know: he doesn’t close the door when he goes! It’s different. It just is.
Have a spa evening
Been meaning to paint your nails and wear your pore-shrinking strips and give yourself a facial? Save that for a night at home. Guys can’t stand the chemical smells of all of those products, and your guy doesn’t need the image of you with a Bandaid over your nose and green goop on your face imprinted into his head forever.