Did Y’all See? Mary Jane’s Selfishness And The Idea Of Cultivating A Man

January 18, 2014  |  

“Did Y’all See?” is a new MadameNoire video series featuring commentary from MN’s editors on the biggest news of the week, including all the drama that goes down on the hottest shows on television.

“Being Mary Jane” is easily one of the best new shows on television this winter, if for no other reason than it gets people talking…a lot. From questions about the true definition of a homewrecker to Mary Jane’s representation of a black woman, and the overlap between the behavior of the show’s characters and real-life relationships, just about every aspect of this drama is up for debate and often leaves audiences divided on morality issues.

In this initial episode of “Did Y’all See?” MN editors weigh in on Mary Jane’s selfish desperation regarding her choice to continue to sleep with Andre and discuss the idea of women not being willing to cultivate a man these days. Watch and share your own thoughts in the comments section.

View clips from past episodes of “Being Mary Jane” here.

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  • Be supportive- Ms Nikki

    Can I say this? When a black actor plays a role where he is cheating, do all you make a big deal out of it? Denzel Washington’s character in Out of time, he was cheating on his wife, even though they were separared. Wil Smith’s character in the movie (can’t remember) but his wife was Regina King and he was cheating on her with Lisa Bonet’s character, none of you had anything to say but that he is fine and the movie was great. I must admit that I have not watched Scandal because it is kind of a slap stick story line, BUT I WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT BLACK PROJECTS. How I feel about what the storyline is about, I choose not to watch. In both Scandal and Being Mary Jane, are created and produced by African American women, extremely intelligent black women and they should be applauded for that accomplishment. I swear, some of you women cannot see beyond that!! EVERYTHING IS NOT ALWAYS UP FOR DEBATE!!! Can it be just for entertainment purposes. Choose the battles LADIES!! I am not offended at all of either TV shows and NO, I have never dated a married man, and I have went out of my way to make sure that I don’t and when I did, I stopped seeing him. Can we just support for these wonderful talented black woman (Shonda Rhimes and Mara Akil) and their TV shows and show some unity. I do not support any woman of any color to have a relationship with a man, but please no of you are perfect and on here judging. Now, I will agree with whoever stated that GU acting does not have range. I like GU and I do believe that she is a good actress, but we all know that black actresses do not have the same opportunities as their white counterparts, and that could be one reason why her acting skills may be not be full or evovled or more rounded as we all would like, including herself. I really like this site and have been visiting this site for years, please have a more inteligent discussions about black women and men for that matter that show us in a more positive and encoraging and supportive light.
    Thanks for reading

  • MyBiz

    Yeah bawsip, we saw it months ago when the movie aired.

  • DoinMe

    This show is ok, but it weighs heavy on the spirit. It’s gloomy and depressing all around. Her family is a lot, her love life is wack, and her job is too demanding. Nobody is (or should be) this miserable in life.

    • Dominique Thompson

      I said the same thing. This woman is beautiful and successful. The only thing that her life seems to be lacking is a man and she’s that depressed about it? The show is dark and the music is gloomy I mean geez. It’s a good show but can we send the girl to Jamaica or something!

  • Ronni

    It’s hard to watch Gabby. I mean, her acting could use a little help. I guess that’s why she’s really needs to marry some money because she realize the acting gig won’t last. Sorry:-(

    • whhhhr

      ummm she’s been acting since she play the friend on sister sister I doubt that’s why shes marrying wade but you got it

  • jdmann

    Plants are cultivated, men are born, the question is what type of man is the brother. That idea and Mary Jane’s character, illustrates the need in some women to sabotage themselves and relationships. Not complaining tho.

    • dhgwen

      @jdmann, even the idea of cultivating a man irks me. Its like a woman is expected to be the man’s mama, nursemaid, style coach, cook, and sex-puppet. He just shows up and a woman has to get on her grind buffin’ and shinin’ him up. He may come out perfect and brand new but I think he will ultimately devalue your worth as a mate and resent you for making him a project (even IF you’ve made him look as juicy as Omari Hardwick). The type of man you have to build will mostly resent that you “knew him when…” fill-in-the-blank: he was dusty, had poor hygiene, was a 1-minute man, couldn’t bone worth a damn, and/or had jacked-up credit.

      • jdmann

        True but a man will have ups and downs especially a Black man because his fate still depends on attitudes and trends in society. That’s when he needs his woman but he shouldn’t need her to cultivate him. More like to kick him when he’s slipping, getting lazy, losing focus.

  • Guest

    I caught the episode when he proposed. I recall the scene where the wife said she “made” him. Also when she passive aggressively presented the post-nup. idk, to me it came across manipulative and emasculating. I done condone adultery but I don’t see his wife as a hopeless victim either. They all seem a bit messy to me.

    • Jen

      That’s the point of the show… to paint the wife as the mean one, and the mistress as the compassionate one …..

    • kiki j

      I think she is preparing herself for the obvious. There’s nothing wrong with that. Something she should have done sooner.

  • Shawndrea Rachelle

    I’m so tired of cheating being glorified on these shows, reality and sitcom

    • Dominique Thompson

      I don’t think it’s being glorified. I think it’s an unfortunate reality in all races and they’re talking about it.

      • kiki j

        I think it’s being glorified because they keep painting the married female as the bad guy and the side chick as the victim.

        • Dominique Thompson

          I do agree with that aspect of it. They do make martyr’s out of the mistresses.

  • kiki j

    She’s a good actress but not a great actress. She only shows three emotions, happy, sad, and mad. She always sounds the same in EVERY movie she’s in. She isn’t an emotional actress. But I like the show. I think it would’ve been better with a different lead and it really reminds me of Scandal. And why do our women have to play home wrecking adulterers? And when they do people are trying to defend them by saying they aren’t side chicks because the other man loves them. If you have no ring, no deed, no marriage license, no joint accounts, no holidays, no family gathering invites you are the side chick.

    • bigdede

      How is this show anything like Scandal?

      • Just saying!!

        It isn’t really, but I think Kiki is referring to the fact that the lead character is a professional black woman messing around with a married man, like Olivia Pope in Scandal.

        • kiki j


    • Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

      Indeed…what’s love got to with it?

    • hollyw

      You don’t see any difference between her past roles and this one, acting-wise..? To me, she is much more well-rounded as a character, and seems to have matured, professionally. The only comparison to Scandal seems to be the obvious sleeping-with-a-married man factor. Other than that, just the fact that she’s a successful Black woman… that’s a positive lol. She’s not a saint, but I like the show for myself. *shrug* 🙂

      • kiki j

        Her roles are different but her acting and expressions are the same. I’m not saying it’s just like scandal I said it sort of reminds me of Scandal for obvious reasons. It’s a good show I just think she’s a basic actress.

    • Yep

      Well, don’t watch it. I don’t. Once she knew he was married and still slept with him, I stopped watching it. Also, Sleepy Hollow is a great show. The female lead is a black woman. Toni from girlfriends is also in it (not a main character, but she is a recurring one)

      • xxdiscoxxheaven

        I agree. I stopped watching after the first episode when she SAW pics of his family and then proceeded to sleep with him in a shower. That ish pissed me off so bad!!Thanks for the recommendation on Sleepy Hollow! I definitely want to catch it!

  • Nia

    I’d watch, but GU’s non-acting irks the ish out of me.

    • rainydaze80

      she was watchable…but her facial expressions were predictable as h3ll