Just Go With The Flow: 14 Things You Overthink In Relationships
Most women are over-thinkers. We say we’re just trying to protect ourselves, but there’s a difference between being analytical and just being a plain head case. Here are 14 things it does you no good to overthink, but that you probably overthink anyways.
When he’s not in the mood
How can he not be in the mood? He’s a man. He must think I don’t look pretty, or maybe I smell funny, or maybe I wasn’t good in bed recently and he doesn’t want a repeat. Or…wait…could it be…he’s feeling guilty about cheating on me?!
When he wants a night to himself
If he’s had a long day, shouldn’t I be a nice relief?! Shouldn’t my presence cheer him up and relax him?! Hold on there, has it occurred to you he just feels bad exposing you to his bad/dull mood and doesn’t want to worry about entertaining another person? It could be a selfless act.
When he doesn’t invite you to a party
Well then clearly there are things he does when I’m not around that I wouldn’t approve of, and he wants the chance to do them! Or maybe there will be a girl there he wants to flirt with. Or maybe he thinks I’m embarrassing or boring…! OR, maybe he just wants a night to be a guy and do keg stands and talk the way guys talk, without worrying about boring you.
When he withholds bad news
I had to hear from someone else that his mom is sick?? So, he doesn’t think I’m someone he can confide in. Or he doesn’t think we’re very close. OR…it’s something so unreal to him, he’s not ready to fully process it yet, and having other people in his life know makes it too real, too soon.
The emoticons/punctuation in his texts
You receive the text, “I got held up at work and have to cancel tonight :/” What is that face? That emoticon does not look very upset. That’s like, a half sad face. He doesn’t seem to be that bummed about this!
When he doesn’t cuddle during a movie
We almost always cuddle during movies. Now he’s just sitting over there, with his arm on the back of the couch instead of on me? Does he not feel like being close to me anymore? Did I do something wrong? Is something on his mind? Hint: maybe he’s just really into the movie, and forgot to get into the cuddle position.
When he hasn’t mentioned the weekend and it’s Thursday
We’re having a perfectly fun, pleasant phone call but he still hasn’t mentioned the weekend. Am I just not important enough for him to schedule plans with? Is he going to basically booty call me at 2 am tomorrow night? Is he trying to keep it free so he can hang with his guy friends and flirt with other women? Probably not: men just aren’t as good at planning as women are. If you simply said, “Do you want to do something this weekend?” he’d probably happily make a plan.
When he’s quiet
He must be over me: we used to have conversation all of the time. Maybe he’s actually sitting there contemplating whether or not he even still wants to be with me. Maybe he did something he’s ashamed of…like cheat on me…and he’s afraid if he opens his mouth it’ll come out! OR maybe he just enjoys shutting his brain off sometimes after a long day. Maybe you should feel flattered he is comfortable enough around you to be silent.
When he says nothing about your outfit
Clearly he thinks my outfit is strange, or that I look fat in it. Maybe he’s even embarrassed to be seen with me in it. OR maaaybe he is a guy and guys take ten minutes to get ready and forget that women take an hour to get ready, so they don’t always remember how important it is to compliment us.
When he says a lot about your outfit
He is really into this top. So, is this the only type of top I should ever wear again? Has he disliked every other top I’ve ever worn? Is it because my boobs are showing? Does that mean he is only happy when my boobs are showing—that pig!
When he compliments another female
He complimented that female on being so ambitious. Does that mean he doesn’t think I’m ambitious enough? Would he rather be with somebody more ambitious? Does he like that woman???
That time he got mad at you a year ago
He seems distant tonight. I think he is still upset about that fight we got in last year. I think that fight changed the way he saw me forever. I should definitely bring that fight up again.
When his friends don’t talk to you much
His friends aren’t really engaging me in conversation. They’re just sticking to their man talk. Maybe they don’t like me! Maybe my boyfriend cheated on me and they know and my presence is making them uncomfortable! OR maybe they just know you mean a lot to your guy, and they’re afraid of making jack*sses out of themselves in front of you.
When he wants to go to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant on date night
Is the romance gone? Does he not care about impressing me anymore? Is he broke and not telling me? Does he not think I’m worth spending money on? Does he not care about my opinion on where we eat? Hold it: maybe he genuinely loves the food at this place and wants to share that with you.