I thought it was a good idea when Porsha Stewart announced on Sunday’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta that she was going to be moving out of her mother’s mini-mansion into a place of her own in an effort to establish independence.
Of course, that was when I was under the impression that she would be moving into a one or two-bedroom apartment or even one of those condos overlooking the Atlanta skyline. Instead, this child went and rented a six-bedroom, 8,000 square foot home (side note: I really hope utilities were included). That’s when I started to seriously consider the idea that maybe some folks are just not ready to move out on their own – even if they are adults.
I’m serious. It has almost become a rite of passage to leave home and go find your own nest once you become an adult and have finished all your schooling. But many of us, who are not mature enough emotionally or even financially, get ourselves into a world of trouble – and debt – trying to prove just how independent we can be. Maybe it’s time to admit that some folks are just not ready.
Sure, it means giving up on privacy, but think about how little privacy you will have living in a homeless shelter once you get evicted from your six-bedroom mini-mansion…I hear that sleeping arrangements in those shelters are pretty cozy nowadays. Maybe you need a little monitoring to help guide and shield you from making rash, financially irresponsible decisions. Truthfully, there is nothing wrong with that.
Despite what the social stigma might suggest (that those who live at home are losers who failed to launch), the trend suggests that more young adults than ever are heeding the call to nest longer with their families until much more favorable prospects come along. According to a recent Pew Research Center study, 36 percent of young adults between the ages of 18 to 31 in the United States are now living with their parents. This trend is also happening throughout the first worlds with the number of Britons between the ages of 20 to 34 staying home with mom and dad increasing by 28 percent since 1997. The number of “parasite singles” in Japan have increased to 16 percent from 5.7 percent back in 1990. And with a third of its adult population still sleeping in the same twin bed they had since middle school, Italy’s “bambocciones” have reached epidemic-type levels.
Of course, the major motivation for returning home (or never leaving) is money. In all the aforementioned countries (and many others), the economy has been less than kind to young adults. The cost of living is going up while wages – and available employment – has not. If you are not trying to cobble together a living out of a series of part time, low-wage and temporary gigs, you are unemployed, or worse, an intern. Staying home gives you more financial flexibility away from real adult finances like rent, utilities, mortgage, car notes, insurances and all the tax schemes the government gets from us, until the real money from a real job starts rolling in – if that ever happens. Did I mention the free or at least low-cost home-cooked meals and laundry?
But despite the lure of rampant individualism within this globalized age, no man is an island. Everyone needs someone. And nobody, and I mean nobody, made it by themselves. It takes team work from lots of folks who believe in you. Who better on the team to not only get you through these tough economic times but also to your goals than mom and/or dad? They can at least have your back until you mature enough to know not to get a damn mini-mansion straight out of the independent gate…
