For The Fellas: 14 Ways To Be A Better Man This Year

January 6, 2014  |  
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Okay guys, you really want to know what women want? You really, reeeaaally want to know? Well, it’s not always as simple as things you do for women: sometimes it’s things you do for yourselves. To be a better partner, you need to be a better man. Here are 14 ways to do it.

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Take a real interest in a child

Don’t just do that cute thing where you pick one up, say a couple funny things the kid doesn’t even understand in a baby voice, give him a pat on the head and put him down—all for brownie points with the ladies. When there are children around, pay real attention to them. Take an interest in what goes on in the minds of children at different ages. That shows real parent-potential. Try to have a conversation with a 5-year-old. Just go ahead and try. (There’s no wrong way to do it.) Talk with a child instead of at one.

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Pack your lunch

I’m not kidding! Men can be so wasteful with food and it drives women crazy! For some reason, you throw away leftovers, and always want to buy lunch at a restaurant during your lunch break. Packing your own lunch and eating leftovers shows that you respect your money, your health, and the people who are hungry in the world and would have liked those leftovers. A brown-paper-bag guy is the makings of a family man.

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Be kind to all women, even the ones you don’t find attractive

You might think you do this but in reality, you’re probably just courteous enough to women you’re not attracted to, and then actually take an interest in and make quality conversation with the women you find attractive. Every woman in the room deserves to have somebody take an interest in her as a person, regardless of if you’d like to sleep with her. And trust me: if you speak to all women equally, the ones you are interested in will notice.

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Say thank you often and mean it

It may seem like nothing when you say thank you to the server who just filled your glass with water and look him in the eye, but it says a lot about you. When you take a moment to look someone in the eye when you thank them, you’re taking a moment to acknowledge there is a whole other person there, with an entire existence, an entire history, stresses, concerns, insecurities, ambitions, pain. Just looking someone in the eye says you’re willing to see that for a moment—it says you want to make that person feel seen.

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Let boring people feel interesting

Okay: you can admit it here that you don’t find the mom of five kids you were sat next to at a dinner party very interesting. It’s hard to get invested in her stories about each child’s eating habits. But get invested. What to one person is a small problem might be the whole world to another, and imagine what it feels like to have someone act bored when you’re talking about your whole world? Whether it’s an 80-year-old grandpa or a teenager who works at Starbucks, make everyone feel interesting.

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Write notes

You know you still get giddy when a postcard comes in the mail for you because it’s mostly coupons, flyers and catalogs you didn’t ask for that you get! But a handwritten note, that’s about nothing but pleasantries and affection—there’s just something so alive about that. Leave your partner notes on the pillow in the morning, on the mirror, as a surprise at her office etc.

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Know when to stop drinking

Just because you can have another drink, doesn’t mean you have to. And honestly, you probably can’t handle another one if you’re so sure you can: that’s called drunk confidence. There is something so sexy about a man who knows when to quit.

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Get up to greet someone

This is a dying act but it shouldn’t be. When you’re at a party, already settled on the couch with your snack plate and beer andt new people walk in, get up and greet them. I don’t care if you have to do it for 10 people. Find a place to put that little plastic plate and stand up like a gentleman.

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Prioritize exercise

For some reason men think it’s emasculating to say no to drinks with friends—or anything really—in favor of exercising. If they have absolutely nothing else to do, they’ll exercise. But one quick, “Wanna watch the game?” text and that gym trip is off. But women find it attractive when you prioritize your health. The gym is a real appointment, just like a business meeting or a social gathering. Treat it as such.

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Remember one unique thing about everyone

Everybody wants to feel memorable. When you meet a new person, take note of something they’re wearing, or a quirk they share about themselves, and bring it up the next time you see them.

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Put important dates in your calendar

Birthdays, the first date with your girlfriend or wife, anniversaries, your girlfriend or wife’s mother’s birthday, the day you met your girlfriend or wife. Your life is a rare and wonderful story: treat it as such and write down the facts!

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Recognize your flaws and tease them

A perfect man isn’t hot. In fact, a perfect man doesn’t exist and no woman in the world believes he does. What’s hot is a man who is aware of and comfortable with all of his flaws. Be open about your weaknesses, talk about physical things you’d like to change about yourself, admit when you don’t know the answer to something. Everyone is more comfortable around you when you’re comfortable around you.

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When you want to learn something, learn it

If you’re really curious about something, take a class on it, go see it live, buy a coffee for an expert in it and pick their brain, buy a book on it and read it over one weekend. A man who is curious about life and pursues answers is exciting, and respectable.

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Know when to quit

Sometimes, your business idea just won’t work out. Sometimes your blog won’t pick up any followers. Sometimes a certain social or professional group will not accept you as one of their own. Instead of being louder, pushier, and, in general, more desperate, know when to walk away. The most successful people are that way because they recognized what they would not be successful in, and stopped wasting time on that so they could find what they would be successful in.

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