“I will change my mind in a minute” were the exact words a guy I was in the process of getting to know said to me. While he wasn’t talking about anything directly related to me, I should have taken heed. Basically, he was indecisive and inconsistent, and as luck would have it, he was the same way with his feelings. This would soon became a turn-off and something I should have immediately considered a red flag.
See, when women think of red flags, most times we’re looking for signs of baby mama drama, financial instability, or flirtatious ways in a man. We’re looking for clues that let us know that he’s a cheater or untrustworthy, but many times, we overlook those subtle hints of emotional instability that will almost always leave us with a broken heart–or at least some worked nerves. Nowadays, if a man tells me he often changes his mind and is indecisive, I take that as my queue to run for the hills.
Unfortunately, this wasn’t always the case. I wasn’t as knowledgeable as I was when I first met Mr. Wishy-Washy. He seemed like a good catch, but slowly I started to notice his indecisiveness in small things. For instance, he would want to eat at a certain restaurant and then change his mind after we got there. Seriously, what grown man does this so frequently?
Eventually, those small things turned to big things. We would talk about his career. He was a retired NFL player and was looking for his next big endeavor. Unfortunately, his interests changed every week. One minute he wanted to open up his own business, days later he wanted to coach football professionally at a college; then less than a week later, he’d come up with a whole new vision for his life. Seriously, he changed his mind so much, I couldn’t keep up. This all happened within only a month of us ‘getting to know each other’. This definitely should have been a red flag.
Eventually, he finally decided that he needed to take some time to figure out what he wanted to do, but one thing he claimed he was sure of is that he wanted a relationship and to get married soon. Yep, that was his vision for that week. The next week he had decided that he didn’t want to get married or settle down until he was in his forties. My head was spinning and all I could recall was our initial conversation with him saying that he changes his mind often.
Maya Angelou said it best, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. In my case, he told me and showed me, but I still didn’t consider it a red flag. Now when I meet a guy, if he shows constant signs of indecisiveness, whether it’s about food or finances, I can’t deal.
If he can’t make up his mind about his career or what he wants to do with his life, why would he be able to think clearly and confidently about me and a relationship? I don’t think it’s possible. So until a man becomes more decisive about things that don’t involve me, I can’t be involved.
Ladies, do you think you should stay away from wishy-washy men when it comes to relationships?
